Long story short, my SO is soon going to be involved in what will likely become a very ugly custody battle.
Long story not so short...
His daughter is the world to him, so this will pretty much be his sole focus until it is settled. The impending custody battle just became a reality yesterday (when the baby-mama decided it was time to cause some SERIOUS drama), but I expect that he will have little to no time for much else. His daughter lives in the same city as I do. He travels here often for work, to see her, and to see me. But she is the absolute priority. Of course when he is in town, work will be a given. Now that all of this is going on, though, I am afraid "my" time will disappear.
Though I have met his daughter a few times before we began dating, I have not seen her since we started our relationship. He doesn't want to bring women in and out of her life, so he wants to be sure that what we have will be for the long-run before I meet her as his SO. I think we were getting close to that point... but now all this. With a baby-mama that will no doubt make things as ugly as possible in court, bringing a new girlfriend into the picture is probably not a good idea.
So what can I do in this situation?
Our relationship is slowly but surely progressing, though it isn't at the point of being "serious" yet. I don't want to lose him, and I don't want the timing of all of this (combined with the newness of our relationship) to put an end to things. I can honestly see a future with him, and I think he feels the same way towards me. I completely understand that our relationship will not be the first priority for the time being, and I am ok with that. I know how important his daughter is to him, and I want to support him through all of this.
I guess I'm just looking for some sort of advice. Have any of you dealt with similar drama from your SO's ex? How do you deal with it? When our time together will likely be decreasing significantly, how can I keep the relationship going? Suddenly all of my selfishness (wanting more attention from him, etc) is going to have to go away. I can do that. But how do I be there for him when I can't be involved in any of what's going on?
Any suggestions or words of encouragement you all may have would be greatly appreciated, as I have no children of my own, have never dated anyone with children before, and suddenly understand how having kids from past relationships can really complicate future relationships.
Long story not so short...
His daughter is the world to him, so this will pretty much be his sole focus until it is settled. The impending custody battle just became a reality yesterday (when the baby-mama decided it was time to cause some SERIOUS drama), but I expect that he will have little to no time for much else. His daughter lives in the same city as I do. He travels here often for work, to see her, and to see me. But she is the absolute priority. Of course when he is in town, work will be a given. Now that all of this is going on, though, I am afraid "my" time will disappear.
Though I have met his daughter a few times before we began dating, I have not seen her since we started our relationship. He doesn't want to bring women in and out of her life, so he wants to be sure that what we have will be for the long-run before I meet her as his SO. I think we were getting close to that point... but now all this. With a baby-mama that will no doubt make things as ugly as possible in court, bringing a new girlfriend into the picture is probably not a good idea.
So what can I do in this situation?
Our relationship is slowly but surely progressing, though it isn't at the point of being "serious" yet. I don't want to lose him, and I don't want the timing of all of this (combined with the newness of our relationship) to put an end to things. I can honestly see a future with him, and I think he feels the same way towards me. I completely understand that our relationship will not be the first priority for the time being, and I am ok with that. I know how important his daughter is to him, and I want to support him through all of this.
I guess I'm just looking for some sort of advice. Have any of you dealt with similar drama from your SO's ex? How do you deal with it? When our time together will likely be decreasing significantly, how can I keep the relationship going? Suddenly all of my selfishness (wanting more attention from him, etc) is going to have to go away. I can do that. But how do I be there for him when I can't be involved in any of what's going on?
Any suggestions or words of encouragement you all may have would be greatly appreciated, as I have no children of my own, have never dated anyone with children before, and suddenly understand how having kids from past relationships can really complicate future relationships.
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