The Reputation of LDRs

[LadyMarchHare]

Not a personal incident, I just thought this would be an interesting topic for discussion/debate.

I'm more familiar with LDRs being given the term "online dating", and I suppose that's my age speaking for me. My first encounter with them was back when I was 11 and chat rooms were all the rage for not only AOL but sites catering to younger people. I'd see people asking others out without ever getting to know them based solely on the icon/avatar they were using or their screenname. (this being the era of those lovely screennames such as "sexyboi13" and "hottie69" which instantly got you attention) It seemed trivial to me, and it was, because exactly how are you dating when you're only meeting in a chatroom and calling each other 'hot' and 'cute' all the time and not getting to know each other?

I still am active on sites designed for teenagers and college students and going into some sections I still see this sort of behavior. Take the avatar forums where you dress up pixel dolls to represent 'you'. There are people running about asking each other out based on those pixels and within virtually minutes of meeting they're proclaiming love.

It's also probably common knowledge to everyone here the general opinion on LDRs that get started via internet, and that's because of how the media portrays them. They're taking the teenagers who meet on some site and spew how much they love each other but they don't ever get to know one another and it's almost like a game. My favorite are those who believe dating someone online isn't 'real dating' so they have a string of online boyfriends/girlfriends while dating someone CD. I've also witnessed first hand LDR relationships through my best friend and they've all been pretty bad.

So to me, LDRs have gotten a bad reputation that truly is not deserved, at least not for those who are in real ones and looking to bridge the gap no matter how long it takes. There's always a downside to everything, but it simply seems because most of these are internet-based or reliant on some other form of long-distance communication that they're automatically defunct in society, the person on the other end of the communication line is a fraud, and you're a loser. It's hard to be taken seriously when you say your SO is elsewhere because some people take it as the infamous "my girlfriend who lives in canada" line that you're making up to hide your apparent lack of ability to get a date.

And I'm not going to lie, I didn't support them for years, I thought they were stupid because to me it was all a dead end. You're in two different places. Even after my best friend's latest, who she ended up breaking up with two years ago after they were together two years, when he tried twice to fly from Scotland to see her, it seemed there was no point. My opinion was saturated by what I'd grown up witnessing and the many nights I was on the phone with my best friend (who lives an hour away) listening to her cry because she was lonely or the guy had hurt her in some form. Being on the other end now, I feel silly using the same lines I've heard others use for years, knowing I mean them more than they may have. I also see how hard it is to try and sway the opinion of a die-hard "internet relationships must die" person. It's very weird.

Perhaps I'm merely far too pessimistic and see things from the wrong end here.

What was your opinion of LDRs before you were in one?

Do you encounter more people in genuine LDRs outside of this forum or more people who treat them like games?

What's your opinion on the media's portrayal of LDRs/what have you seen?

Do people harass you when you say your SO isn't in the same state/country as you?

What, in your opinion, defines a REAL LDR?

Let me know if you think a question should be added.

[NaNi]

What was your opinion of LDRs before you were in one? I never really thought about it. It never even crossed my mind. I might have been thinking that I would just go date somebody in my area, but other than that... nothing.

Do you encounter more people in genuine LDRs outside of this forum or more people who treat them like games? I don't personally know anyone that treats LDR's as a game. But then again I don't know anyone who is in one themselves, no one besides my best friend. Her boyfriend lives 1-2 hours away from her home so she does understand. Of course. But even before she met him she was very supportive of my situation.

What's your opinion on the media's portrayal of LDRs/what have you seen? Well, I met my SO online and I do know that the media is sometimes mocking that. They are implying that it's a desperate move or that such people couldn't find anybody in their area, that they should give it up and go outside. I hate hearing stuff like that. Because while some people might lie over the internet and might just be playing around with another person... you can find the love of your life. I should know. It happened to me too. You just need to work on it and you have to make an effort (meeting up). A simple online love without any personal contact wouldn't have been my thing either though I think. Because since I was really interested in my SO... I wanted to meet her and get to know her. In person.
LDR's however are portrayed with more support. At least the things that I saw. It's nice seeing couples who finally move together after years of being apart. It gives one even more hope.

Do people harass you when you say your SO isn't in the same state/country as you? No, that never happened to me. They were just happy for me.

What, in your opinion, defines a REAL LDR? If you love and trust each other. Also when you are completely committed to each other, since a LDR is just like any other relationship. The distance does not mean that one person is allowed to have a bit of "fun time" with somebody close by.

[Caitlin2009]

What was your opinion of LDRs before you were in one? Heh i thought the people that were in one were nuts! because they had no idea who they were talking to, for some odd reason i had the notion that a relationship that was in LDR wouldnt last

Do you encounter more people in genuine LDRs outside of this forum or more people who treat them like games? no not like a game more like dont take as serously as you would if the person was in the same room as you

What's your opinion on the media's portrayal of LDRs/what have you seen? i think they only focus on the bad ones from creepy people looking for young girls or whatever, very rarely do i see a news story about a LDR couple making it and how they met, ect. they only focus on the bad ones which i hope changes at some point

Do people harass you when you say your SO isn't in the same state/country as you? not really. although i get alot of "are you sure that person is who they say they are" or "be careful" or i get a bunch of sarcasm from some of my family members

What, in your opinion, defines a REAL LDR?As long as each couple is strong enough to endure whatever challenges that are thrown at them until they are under one roof, then they are defiantly able to make it. You have to trust that person alot, for someone who has trust issues like myself its been a real challenge to fully trust her but once you get past that everything else is a peice of pie

[Riyko]

What was your opinion of LDRs before you were in one?
I was ok with them, but I also thought a lot of people just played around with them.

Do you encounter more people in genuine LDRs outside of this forum or more people who treat them like games?
To me it's a mix, I meet some who are in genuine ones where as i've met others who think it's a game.

What's your opinion on the media's portrayal of LDRs/what have you seen?
I don't really care how the media portrays LDRs because they are always going to make them seem bad due to the kidnappings and runaways that have happened due to someone being in an LDR.

Do people harass you when you say your SO isn't in the same state/country as you?
They just tell me I should really find someone closer, but thats about it.

What, in your opinion, defines a REAL LDR?
The only thing I can think of is distance and that would be at least 6 hours away by car. I can't really say because i was CD before being LD.

[stacyrose]

What was your opinion of LDRs before you were in one?
I had never given them too much thought...but I used to think of military couples and people in that sort of situation and I thought to myself "Damn...I don't know how they do it. I couldn't do something like that in a million years." Well turns out I surprised even myself.

Do you encounter more people in genuine LDRs outside of this forum or more people who treat them like games?
I only know one friend in an LDR outside the forums, and she takes it very seriously.

What's your opinion on the media's portrayal of LDRs/what have you seen?
I admit I was one of those people who thought similar to the media about "online dating". I didn't think there could possibly be any sort of substance or real feeling to it, because how could there be without that physical contact? But I was very wrong of course. It is sad to me that they are still portrayed as they are now...but I believe someday LDRs will get a much better light shed on them.

Do people harass you when you say your SO isn't in the same state/country as you?
I've had a few people concerned, and for the most part people are impressed and can't believe I can do it. I just tell them if you love someone that much you can get through anything.

What, in your opinion, defines a REAL LDR?
Two people facing every odd against them and surpassing and conquering it, despite all the hardships and naysayers. Real proof that true love can battle any obstacle it faces.

[archangel]

What was your opinion of LDRs before you were in one?
I knew they existed and all, and also I was willing to look anywhere in the world for my true love. So, I guess you could say I am open to both LDR and CDR. Also before I even was in a relationship, I knew a few people around me who were in LDRs.

Do you encounter more people in genuine LDRs outside of this forum or more people who treat them like games?
I have yet to meet someone else in College who is in an LDR. As for friends... I know of a few. Can't remember the exact number thou... sorry.

What's your opinion on the media's portrayal of LDRs/what have you seen?
The only mass media vibe I get is what a lot of friends told me when I first told them i'm in one: "it won't last". But seriously, how does one know if you have never been in one?

Do people harass you when you say your SO isn't in the same state/country as you?
Yes, in the past when I brought it up. I prefer not to tell everything, since I know majority will be negative and hurtful put downs just because they are or were in CDRs and believe it is the only time of relationship. Dogmatic isn't it?

What, in your opinion, defines a REAL LDR?
I'm gonna do this in point form to keep it short and to the point:

• A distance whether it is 20 miles or 12,000 miles.
• Lots of communication
• True love
• Trust in each other
• Compatibility (more of a general relationship thing)
• Commitment
• A dream of one day closing the distance for good

[Tulip]

What was your opinion of LDRs before you were in one?
I didn't have anything against them, but i was kinda pessimistic and didn't really understand how they can work out.

Do you encounter more people in genuine LDRs outside of this forum or more people who treat them like games?
I have a close friend who started a ldr way before I did, and they're very happy together. I know a couple of people in my school who were/are in ldrs, and they seem to be genuine.

What's your opinion on the media's portrayal of LDRs/what have you seen?
It seems like the media portrays each person you meet online as some pedophile/psycho killer/etc. They ignore the fact that it is possible to fall in love with someone you haven't met in person, and that there are honest people out there.
Though I have noticed a slow change in the attitude about ldrs, there was even a show here that focused on couples ending the distance, which is nice to see.
Do people harass you when you say your SO isn't in the same state/country as you?
Nah, people tend to be positive about it most of the time. I think it has to do with the fact that I always have a big smile on my face whenever I talk about my SO. And when asked how am I able to deal with it, I just say "he's worth it". Can't really argue with that . There was one girl though who was all like "oh but is he cheating on you when he goes out?" which kinda confused me. That same girl doubted that my SO and I could even last three months. One and a half years later, I'm happy to have proved her wrong. I think she was just jealous. :P

What, in your opinion, defines a REAL LDR?
When two people have a considerable distance between them (I'm not really sure exactly how many km), and manage to overcome all obstacles between them because their love is that strong. There has to be strong commitment in making the relationship work, and eventually closing the distance gap. There also must be trust. Also, very important, you should be each other's best friend.

[Mayyie]

What was your opinion of LDRs before you were in one?
Never understood how someone does it. It seems impossible, so I've always tell myself I would never be in one.

Do you encounter more people in genuine LDRs outside of this forum or more people who treat them like games?
Outside this forum, I know about 3 people who are also in a LDR. They all take it very seriously and I don't think I have come across anyone who treats it like a game.

What's your opinion on the media's portrayal of LDRs/what have you seen?
They make it sound like the most difficult thing on earth, and they tend to come up with a list of conditions that if you don't follow, your LDR is heading for a crash and how people failed and etc. I don't deny that LDR is very difficult, but it is not as difficult as they portray. The image that the media gives is almost cynical.

Do people harass you when you say your SO isn't in the same state/country as you?
I wouldn't call it harassing, and I would say the reason that they show genuine concern is not because he's in a different country. They were more worried about the way we met(not online), and how they were convinced that he is some international criminal/badass who were out to get girls. But, after they've met him and see how serious we were, it has been support ever since.

What, in your opinion, defines a REAL LDR?
Distance, love, trust, and belief/faith.

[BoogleBee]

What was your opinion of LDRs before you were in one?
Well I didn't have anything against LDR's that began as a CDR and then became LDR because I thought well then at least the people have met and know each other. However, I was always a bit skeptical about LDR's that grew out of meeting online. Due to all those stories about creepy men and everything. I never thought I would have an LDR. When I first started talking to my SO and two of my friends found out..or worked it out (from the smile I had on my face all the time) they asked like if she was my girlfriend and I said well how..she lives on the other side of the world! How would it work? you know. But then they said that while they couldn't do something like that, that it is possible. And that made me think more. I had never seen myself in an LDR before, but that was just because I hadn't met the right person, the person I felt was worth an LDR. And now I have found that person and I love her so much <3

Do you encounter more people in genuine LDRs outside of this forum or more people who treat them like games?

I don't know anyone in RL who is in an LDR. Well I know of someone I used to go to school with who when she went to university her bf went to a different university about 5 hours drive away and they are still going strong after...about 3 years of LDR. Other than that I don't know anyone in an LDR. I know that my friends are supportive of my situation. It took my mum a bit of getting used to. At first she was skeptical. And didn't understand which causes a bit of tension with her for a while, but then she came around and then when my SO came to visit my mum realised what a lovely person she is, and now she is very supportive

What's your opinion on the media's portrayal of LDRs/what have you seen?
Well the media does tend to focus on those stories of people meeting online..and then..getting murdered or abused..xD.
But then there are the stories about sports stars for example who have LDR's while they travel the world, while their families stay home. And those are positive portrayals. So yes..I don't really know..


Do people harass you when you say your SO isn't in the same state/country as you?
Well..a lot of people I didn't actually tell. My SO came over to visit, but only my close friends knew she was my SO, and other people just seemed to guess. So I didn't outright tell them, and they knew my SO was from germany..but they've never spoken to me about it. They just accept it I think. I don't know their views on it. I haven't really told anyone else, as they haven't asked. It's pretty obvious from my facebook status and the fact we leave sweet messages on each others plages. And some people who I used to know..but don't talk to anymore have asked me on FB, but then they were just like awww cute. So

What, in your opinion, defines a REAL LDR?
A real LDR? Well I think basically the same as CDR minus the physical contact. Like..you have to be committed, to love each other. Obviously there will be a considerable distance between the two of you, and just because you are in different countries or parts of a country doesn't mean you have the freedom to play around etc etc. To be in a committed relationship, to care about each other, to want to be together. All of those things that are normal in a relationship! And then the physical cuddling etc can take place at the times you are together.
Ooo and communication, communcation, communication!! Very important for an LDR, and also trust is very important for such relatinships as well.

[Bluestars]

What was your opinion of LDRs before you were in one?
I didn't really have a general opinion, although it kind of pesimistic at times. I would never have imagined myself in one though.

Do you encounter more people in genuine LDRs outside of this forum or more people who treat them like games?
I have only known two people who were ever in LDRs, and both of those were before I began my LDR. However, both of the relationships were completely different. The first one was one of my best friends in high school who dated a boy online who lived in Washington Sate--which is almost as far away as you can get in the US besides Alaska. At first I thought it was risky because she met him online, but after she went to visit him several times for several weeks at a time, I realized that LDRs could be just like normal relationships.

On the other hand, I had another friend my freshman year in college who "played games" as you call it. When I first met her, she was talking to this guy online that she had known for over a year, and I would hear his voice on the phone. I thought it was cute. However, he finally rejected her and found someone close by (they were never official). A few weeks later, she met a guy on Gai and started "going out" with him that same day, and they both said I love you within an hour--which I find absolutely ridiculous! This guy was completely sketch. He could only talk on on the speaker online because he said his cell phone got ruined in the laundry (and he never got it fixed), he wouldn't send his picture for the LONGEST time (he finally did but he looked very, very creepy), and then he disappeared for two weeks without contacting her. He said he was in the hospital because someone mugged him and beat him up, but when she called the hospital, they said they said he wasn't there.......She was head over heals for him for around two months, but then she cheated on him with another guy online so they broke up before he was supposed to move to be with her......

What's your opinion on the media's portrayal of LDRs/what have you seen?
It has been primarily negative when it comes to people meeting online. It portrays people who use online dating sites as desperate, lame, and unattractive, but that is not always the case, because my SO and I are not any of those. Probably the worse thing was when one of the lessons in a class was on the economics of match.com. The mass comm professor then made a comment that "nobody in this class would be using one." I was sort of embarrassed/offended because me and my friend sitting beside me were on OkCupid--and I didn't see anything wrong with that.

Do people harass you when you say your SO isn't in the same state/country as you?
I wouldn't really use the word harass, but I usually get a negative vibe from them. When I tell people my boyfriend lives in Louisiana, the first thing they automatically assume is that we went to college together. When I correct them and say that we met online, I usually get a funny face, but sometimes people are just curious about it. I only say that we met on OkC if they ask for more detail because I am sort of embarrassed to explain because they always imagine horrible stereotypes. For instance, after I showed this one guy a few days ago a picture of my SO, he said "Good, I thought he would be some ugly, fat guy." In some instances though, the people will ask about the site and join it themselves


What, in your opinion, defines a REAL LDR?
When you can't call your boyfriend or girlfriend on the phone and arrange to hang out because you are separated by too much of a distance.

[DropkickDisco]

What was your opinion of LDRs before you were in one?
I never thought much about it, I guess.

Do you encounter more people in genuine LDRs outside of this forum or more people who treat them like games?
I definitely come across more who treat them like games. it's sad, really.

What's your opinion on the media's portrayal of LDRs/what have you seen?
the media portrays ALL LDR's as pedophile rape relationships, which is NOT the case. it aggravates me. I've had more negative reactions from people hearing that I met my SO on facebook than anything else. my parents have also gotten negative reactions for allowing me and my SO to be together and (as of June 22nd) meet in person.

Do people harass you when you say your SO isn't in the same state/country as you?
my SO actually is in the same state as me but on the other side. but that's irrelevant.
yes. as I mentioned in the last question, I've had some definite angry/uninformed reactions.

What, in your opinion, defines a REAL LDR?
a REAL LDR is when you don't see your SO for a considerate amount of time because of a considerate distance. an LDR is when you can't see your LDR in person unless it's flat out PLANNED.
on the other hand, an LDR is JUST LIKE ANY OTHER RELATIONSHIP and yet... it's not. it's full of love and understanding, caring and support. but so much more of these is required BECAUSE you don't get to see them, and be with them as often. you must trust that they stay faithful even through the distance. I truly believe that a REAL LDR takes two very special, strong people who really, truly love eachother.

[Caity]

What was your opinion of LDRs before you were in one?
Well as my parents are fairly young, I was exposed to the internet from a very early age. They have friends all over the world now. So I thought it was fairly normal and acceptable for LDRs too. My mum actually met a guy in Holland who fell in love with her and that nearly ended in the divorce of my parents and also resulted in my littlest sister. But I've always thought LDRs could work and were alright.

Do you encounter more people in genuine LDRs outside of this forum or more people who treat them like games?
I don't know hardly anyone at all in an LDR outside of this forum. I have a friend at my school who was in an LDR but they recently broke up.

What's your opinion on the media's portrayal of LDRs/what have you seen?
I think the media are often portraying them negatively and that's awful. You hardly ever read about LDR success stories in the news or magazines and you never hear about how hard it can be and the amount of work that goes into them. Especially LDRs where people met online, because, as people have already said, they just assume it'll be some creepy 40 year old man living in his mum's basement trying to groom some teenage girls. That's a favourite of my friends' when they're joking around and teasing me.

Do people harass you when you say your SO isn't in the same state/country as you?
Well I never really told anyone except my close friends. They've accepted it, they just tease me sometimes but it's in a friendly way. Rumours got round school of course, but no one has said anything to my face and i don't really care what they think. When I told my little brother's friend who lives in America that I ws going to meet my SO he was saying 'nooo don't go, what happens if he kidnaps you? what if you get raped?' and so on.

What, in your opinion, defines a REAL LDR?
Two people who are in love and maintaining a relationship despite being far apart.

[Swederica]

What was your opinion of LDRs before you were in one?
Honestly i didn't think all too much about them. Maybe cuz i thought it couldn't exist, atleast not the one where you meet on the internet.

Do you encounter more people in genuine LDRs outside of this forum or more people who treat them like games?
My former best friend went into an LDR two months after me. Even tho they are far closer then for example me and Katelyn, my friend lives in sweden and his former SO in Holland, they couldn't handle it. They went on and off and i've had constant contact with the dutch girl and she's been feeling superbad and sad for months while he just feel sorry for himself. I'm happy we've done better. I could say that my friend kind of treat them like games.

What's your opinion on the media's portrayal of LDRs/what have you seen?
I've not seen much meda portrayal here in Sweden about LDRs. All that are transmitted are warnings and yet more warnings. Do not use internet, weird people can almost plop out of the screen and rape you.
That's the image i'm getting and it's really annoying. Even though you hear about all these rapes and stuff you can see that it's a very small percentage that ends up that way. A bit like the odds of a plane crashing i would say.

Do people harass you when you say your SO isn't in the same state/country as you?
We've kept it unofficial for the most. My other friend, not the one i spoke of earlier, is now going to get married. Unfortunately i will prolly not be able to attend. But they started out as an LDR for 3 years until his gf moved to his town and now they've lived like that for 2 years and are getting married. So i have a close example that LDR's can work out. Even if both lived in Sweden.

What, in your opinion, defines a REAL LDR?
For me a real LDR is when both sides are entirely committed to eachother and tries to get through it together and keep the spirit up and always tries to find a way to be with eachother. Really it's hard for me to define a real LDR. I'm hoping i will get out of it soon.

[LadyMarchHare]

I'm enjoying everyone's answers so far. Thought I'd answer my own questions even if I'm repeating myself.

What was your opinion of LDRs before you were in one?

Well as I stated initially I thought they were all pretty much the same stupid things teenagers did as a part of the flippant dating I always saw going on around me. It never occurred to me that people actually worked to see each other and keep an actual relationship with the person until around my best friend's 4th LDR, which ended the worst way. And it never dawned on me until recently that my mom was in one with my dad, which again ended badly. So basically I wasn't seeing much positive light with them and shunned it as a way to meet the one I would love.

Do you encounter more people in genuine LDRs outside of this forum or more people who treat them like games?

The only person I ever knew that was in a serious LDR was my best friend and like I said none of them worked out for her. My SO was in one a couple years ago when he stopped coming around the forum we hung out in because the girl he was dating was psycho and basically wanted nothing more than for him to fly out to her and, literally, kill her because she was miserable. Other than that, I'm exposed far more to the teenage "ur cute" "u 2" "want to be my bf/gf?" "ok" version. I've sat in chat rooms before just to watch these exchanges (weird I know) and sometimes someone's smart and says no because they don't know them, and the other person whines about it. Other times they grab a corner and cyber (poorly) and I lose a bit of faith for humanity.

What's your opinion on the media's portrayal of LDRs/what have you seen?

The media enjoys scaring the living daylights out of us. When the internet started being a big thing and chatrooms cropped up there were dozens of news stories warning parents against pedos and talking about how so many teenagers ran away from home/were kidnapped because of 'friends' they made on sites like Myspace. While it does happen, it's basically coated the words "online relationship" with blood and spit. I've even seen some mention of those in say, military-caused LDRs, about the SO left behind cheating or even the one in the military cheating because their SO isn't there and 'they have needs', blabla. A good example of that is the Opera "Mme Butterfly" where the protagonist falls in love with a military man stationed there. He leaves soon after and she ends up pregnant and spends years waiting for him. When he returns she finds out he married in the US and forgot about her and she ends up giving up her son to him and committing suicide. This opera being a good deal older than the internet but still showing a bad light to LDRs.

Do people harass you when you say your SO isn't in the same state/country as you?

Actually yes they do. The first was my mother right after I told her about my SO. The first issue was race and it still is, I got a HUGE lecture about how it was an abomination and how she wouldn't be there if we married or had kids. The second was of course the distance and I got the standard "he could be lying/a rapist/an axe murderer" plus the added insult when she compared him to my father, who had basically hid his real self from my mom the entire time they were dating LD until she moved to be with him and they were married and he turned out to be a monster.

My best friend, at first, was the most supportive because she knew the struggle but her true colors came bleeding out when back in May my SO and I tried arranging a 4 day trip for me to see him because he got a week off, which he'd never had before. While I was scrambling to get a plane ticket that didn't have me in the plane for 5 hours (honestly. Louisiana to Florida. 2 hour trip. All the flights were having me change planes in Texas, some even added a switch in Georgia, and one had both PLUS Tennessee!) she turned around and started telling me my SO was just using me for my virginity, that he would rape me, let his friends rape me, then abandon me on the streets of Florida and no one would be there to protect me. Eventually our plans fell into the mud when I couldn't contact him after 2 days and she started screaming how he had turned me stupid and weak because I was depending on a man I couldn't even see or touch. She also implied several times that he was just a means for me to lose my virginity and that I didn't really care about him. I don't really have any other close friends and I don't advertise that we're LDR right away unless they ask and I get mixed reactions. Which is how I came to be here. I needed the support like crazy.

What, in your opinion, defines a REAL LDR?

To me, an LDR is a relationship that both has advantages and disadvantages. If you're coming from meeting them online first, you get the benefit of knowing their personality first and then their looks, which, coming from a big girl, is really important because then you can see them and know that even if they're not the prettiest thing on earth, you still love them. If you're CD going into LDR, it tests just how strong you two are not only as individuals, but as a couple, and it's the same for any type as well. You've been around them for some period of time but now you're testing the bond by driving a wedge of physical distance. You have to be able to communicate properly since words are pretty much all you have now. If neither of you can express yourself clearly, there's going to be a lot of fretting. Trust is another big, big key. You have to trust that their love and devotion overrides any other desire they might have and trust too that one day the distance will end permanently and you two will be in an even bigger state of bliss when it happens. You also need patience, which is very hard to have. To me, for it to be a genuine LDR, you have to go momentarily blind to what you lack in the relationship and have your senses grow around what you do have and not let go.

[bigmac62]

What was your opinion of LDRs before you were in one?
I didn't really have an opinion one way or the other; it was just another relationship to me.

Do you encounter more people in genuine LDRs outside of this forum or more people who treat them like games?
More people who treat them like games. Nine times out of ten, it usually lasts about a month, then one does something completely insignificant that gets taken the wrong way, and then they're not speaking to each other.

What's your opinion on the media's portrayal of LDRs/what have you seen?
The only really significant thing I've ever seen in the media on it is somebody advocating dating local to go green. It was patently ridiculous, and was generally laughed at by everybody who heard it.

Do people harass you when you say your SO isn't in the same state/country as you?
So far, both my LDRs have been in the same state. We have had some people who are, for lack of a better word, jealous of our relationship, but usually they don't understand because they're either a) single or b) never been any farther than 20-30 miles from their significant other.

What, in your opinion, defines a REAL LDR?
Philosophical Answer: A real long-distance relationship is two people who are willing to go through the fire and back for their boy/girlfriend. They must also be willing to endure long periods of loneliness for a day/weekend/couple hours with them.

Layman's answer: They must be at least:
if in the same state: 200 miles or across the state.
if in the same country: approximately 500 miles or in the case of the United States, at least one whole state (ex: if you live in NY, they should be at least in NJ).
if over international borders: at least a 3 hour plane ride.