How to combat those nasty little jealous people?

[Honour]

Hello everyone! I have a quick question to ask. My other half has been getting a lot of stick from a number of people about our relationship because it's an LDR, namely from one of his best mate's girlfriend. In the past she has already tried to break us up once before, by saying that LDRs never work, and now she's trying it again on him, by saying that his relationship with me is unhealthy, that LDRs never work blah blah blah. Basically her own relationship is failing because she's immature, childish and a serious little madam. Chris hates her and only has to put up with her because they have a couple of classes together, and because he's tried to help her and her boyfriend work things out. Now, he's left them to sort their mess out but she and a number of other do called friends are trying to sway him although it's not exactly worked ._. So tell me folks, how do we deal with Little Miss Green Eyed Monster and the others, apart from lying and saying we've already met?

[Romeo s Juliet]

wow what a crazy little lady. i think what she expects the most out of your boyfriend and you is a reaction to whatever she says. and the more reaction she gets from you both, the more excited and fueled up she becomes. i know it is a relatively pissing off situation but there is 2 things your bf and you can do

first is your bf needs to stop himself from helping his mate and this girl sort out anythng in the future, and keep away from this crazy lady at all times ( this does not mean he should stop helping/assisiting/being friends with his mate, it only means staying away from things that involve him and the crazy little lady )

secondly, do not respond to any of the things she says. do not show hate, annoyance and keep shut about all her nasty comments, it is not because you both are helpless, it is because you and your SO are much more mature and secure within yourselves, and no matter who says differently doesnt matter
good luck

[Sharon Q]

This may be rude but tell them its none of their business and they can suck it.

Seriously they need to back off. Anf Hes gonna have to tell them to do so.

[Malaga]

Your SO knows best how happy he is in this relationship and whether it works for him. Why should he listen to some chick he's not even friends with telling him it can't work when clearly for him it does? He shouldn't be so susceptible to what randomers think. Who cares what she thinks.

If she doesn't respect your relationship, I think he ought to just stop sharing details about it with her. If she tries to talk about it, he should tell her that it's none of her business, or at least change the subject, if he can't cut her off completely. I find that the best way to deal with people who clearly never even try to understand. You may not be able to change their opinion, but you can ignore what they say and better yet, just stop talking to them about it altogether. Especially if it's a person who's not even important in your life, like a family member or a close friend. Cutting such negative people out of your life is nothing but good riddance.

[hrp2007]

I would tell her to mind her own business. Another female shouldn't have any opinion on someone else's relationship when she can't keep her own straight.

[Honour]

Well the thing was this girl was his friend before any of this happened, but they fell out because of what she said about our relationship. The only time he really has anything to do with her now is when they're in classes together. He has a set seat and can't move, or he would.

Thank you for the advice so far peeps.

[Haley53]

My advice would be to stop sharing anything with her. If he doesn't raise the topic for discussion, he won't have to deal with her immature comments. I really don't understand why people should let these types of comments bother them to begin with. My best friend and I had this issue a while ago. She was convinced his breaking up with me over his mother was because he'd wanted to break up with me all along, and that I was stupid to be letting him string me along. I stopped discussing the details with her after a particularly nasty argument, and we resumed our friendship sans talking about my relationship. Now, almost a year later, he and I are still together, going strong, and she and I can discuss him again and she's admitted that she was wrong. Problem solved. However, there was a time I simply decided to stop discussing it at all around her because of the reaction I received (it was pretty violent each time ). I would recommend your SO do the same. He can act civilly with her in his classes, but you don't need to come up. If he wants to continue to bring you up, then he should learn to better deal with the comments. It's really up to him to weigh the pros and cons of talking about his relationship and decide what he wants to do. I also don't think him changing seats over her "trying to break you up" by saying LDRs never work and his relationship is unhealthy, from someone who, herself, seems ignorant about relationships, is necessary. No one's forcing him to talk with her, and I don't think anyone should hold that much of a grudge. Why not be civil and if she won't listen to him when he says he doesn't care to talk about his relationship (or the more effective, less confrontational, shrug, "mhm," and change of subject), ignore her? Eventually she's going to realise she's not going to get to him, and your relationship is going to stop being so fun to talk about.

[Chris516]

Hello everyone! I have a quick question to ask. My other half has been getting a lot of stick from a number of people about our relationship because it's an LDR, namely from one of his best mate's girlfriend. In the past she has already tried to break us up once before, by saying that LDRs never work, and now she's trying it again on him, by saying that his relationship with me is unhealthy, that LDRs never work blah blah blah. Basically her own relationship is failing because she's immature, childish and a serious little madam. Chris hates her and only has to put up with her because they have a couple of classes together, and because he's tried to help her and her boyfriend work things out. Now, he's left them to sort their mess out but she and a number of other do called friends are trying to sway him although it's not exactly worked ._. So tell me folks, how do we deal with Little Miss Green Eyed Monster and the others, apart from lying and saying we've already met?

I, sort of, know the feeling.

I am in an LDR and frustrated at my fiance's lack of communication. But at least she is not like my online friend, when it comes to compassion for others(or lack thereof).

My online friend of mine, that I have known for ten years, can be moody, hurtful, and unfeeling, when she is under stress. She even owned up to being mean to me. But I feel like I am on eggshells around her. I find it hard for me to believe, that I even have romantic feelings for this woman. Her self-righteous attitude has seemed to shine, brighter than the sun.

She even belittled my LD relationship with my fiance.

The best thing I can think of is, just don't talk to her. You can talk to your friend, but don't talk to her.

[ashdav2010]

Don't deal with them all at That girl needs to shut her yap and stop being so judgmental. Why does she want him to break it off with you so bad - is she interested? I find that LDR's are often more healthy than a "normal" relationship...you value the time you get to talk and see each other because it's so limited. I wouldn't sweat it, there will always be nay-sayers, just be secure in your relationship and let the haters hate!

[EnglishMan]

Oh dont I know how this works. My girl has a couple of (surprise) male friends who (surprise) tell her they dont think it'll work when (surprise) we know they like her. It honestly baffles me how such 'friends' could be so disrespectful, and to be honest, downright selfish and awful. They know exactly what they're doing with those comments, trying to put doubt in somebodies mind to try and increase their own chances. She doesn't need those comments, I dont need those comments; its some selfish idiot thinking of himself and himself only.

... so as you can see, this might make me a little annoyed too . I know thats an overreaction to the statement 'I dont think you'll work out' (because that's all they say, they fortunately dont take it any further), but im good at keeping it to myself and not making it harder on my girl. I just tell her I dont much like it, and leave it like that. The most important fact to me is that her family approve of me and us, most of her friends do too, so whatever a couple of guys with their junk for brains think I could care less about. Just a little annoying.

Basically what your boyfriend needs to do is to bluntly tell these people to mind their own business. If these 'friends' are going to be like that, then really I wouldn't call them his strongest friends anyways. Friends would tell him how happy they were for you two, even if they were skeptical. im not saying he should stop being friends with them, far from it, but as far as your relationship goes, he needs to tell them he' perfectly happy and that if they've got any issue with it, they can kindly shut the hell up about it. Abrupt and confrontational, but it should simply be a matter that isn't up for their debate, and he should make that clear.

[D.4C]

first..my girlfriend and i have discussed this to some extent...if you two are happy...then don't worry at all about what others think...your relationship is your relationship...i say...if she keeps it up...that your SO should pretty much tell her off...tell her to mind her own damn business and relationship...just do what makes you happy...and your SO happy...all that matters...