distance and stress ?

[Sharon Q]

How do you help your SO with stress being so far away? Its not like you can give them a massage or run them a hot bath. So what do you do when your SO is stressed out ?

[Honour]

I comfort him and give him as much attention as I can. I'll go out of my way to make sure he's alright. We might play Xbox games to take our minds off things if we just want a distraction, or we'll lie and talk to each other, talk about what's bothering us. It generally helps.

[Haley53]

I'll ask him if he wants to talk about it, and if he doesn't, we talk about something light or we do something together, like play Minecraft.

[dizzyupthemeg]

I'm pretty lucky that he doesn't stress often. When it does happen, it is normally for a very short period of time. With that being said, I'll make it a point to do small little things that I know make him happy. I'll send a random picture of myself or a random email throught out the day letting him know I care. I already send a text every morning, but sometimes I'll send a couple to make him smile. Sometimes it helps just reassuring him that I am here to listen if he wants to talk about it.

[Malaga]

If he wants to talk about it, and he'll usually at least inform me about what's bringing him down, I listen to him, offer words of encouragement and praise his abilities to find a solution. He says it makes him feel better about himself.

If he's too stressed to talk about it, I usually try to cheer him up by telling a joke or sharing a cute/funny pic. Occasionally, if I'm really inspired, I make up a funny story on the spot with us and the people we know. That usually gets him laughing out loud.

Something I do which he really likes, is tell him a scene from our future life together. Say, a random evening we spend together in our house, with our pets. Or a Sunday morning. A glimpse from our everyday life together after we close the distance. He says it makes him happy.

[rixue]

My SO usually tells me what he is stressed from. I try to cheer him up by making him laugh, playing video games, and teasing really takes his mind off of whatever is bothering him

[reeseismypiece]

I get more stressed out than my SO, so he always comforts me by telling me a joke to get it off my mind. but when we aren't chatting we just live life, do what we want, sure we miss each other but with college, football, wrestling, homework, and with me making costumes we always are kept busy and by the end of the day we are so tired when we actually get to talk that we fall asleep on each other!

[EnglishMan]

This sounds bad because it's exactly what you shouldn't do, but I at least for a tiny bit will try and get her to talk to me about things. Obviously if she's completely not interested in discussing it i'll let it go, but I know she doesn't confide too much in many other people at all, and so I know it's a good thing for her to talk to me about things, thats why I push it a little bit. We usually find that it makes her a little bit more at ease about whatever it is, obviously not all the time, but it seems to be a good thing. I've always been a supporter of the mantra that if something's troubling you, it can make you feel better to talk about it to someone. But again, I wouldn't try to encourage anyone else to kinda push the issue, it just works out ok for us.

But otherwise, I just try and take her mind off it. We'll talk about us, and what we want in the future. Or we'll talk about something fun she's got coming up, other times it works out for us to talk a bit more 'questionably' , takes her mind of it and is just something to enjoy. Just figure out what puts a smile on their face and go with that.

[Verojoon]

What everyone stated! But also I try to do what I can from here. For example, right now he is stressed out because of money and because he hates his job... so I have offered to help him update his resume, and practice for interviews with me. Every now and then, I search jobs in the area and send him interesting ones I think he can do. So far, he has applied to anything, but I think I am still helping him because once he is ready to make that step, he'll have a better idea on the job market... I also spent an entire morning searching different phone and internet providers to save him about $75/mth... There's not much I can help him with from over here, but I do whatever I can...



I'm a little at a lost with how to support him with quitting smoking though... and am finding it very difficult emotionally for myself... because he is so much more quiet than usual... And I keep having to remind myself why so I don't get paranoid that our relationship isn't as good or some other stupid little insecurity...

[nomnom_elf]

I stress the most out of the 2 of us- and its always my BF as my first port of call. I would say that obviously go over it with them to calm them down. if its a problem that can be rationally solved, solve it together. If its an emotional stress ie the LDR comfort and support. however if its just to let vent (bad day in work) give a listening ear then divert the convo elsewhere. nothing worse than keeping a chip on your shoulder and using SO as a stress ball. I've learnt that the hard way, as my BF would eventually give up when i nit picked over the same stressful topic ( i was feeling inadequate at work and stressed at not being able to see BF).

[Katelyn313]

I do pretty much what everyone else does here. I ask him if he wants to share and I offer suggestions and opinions when I can. I give him his space when I sense he needs it. Sometimes (me especially) people just need to talk their problems out to see the options and solutions.

Also, my SO is has a self-confessed pessimistic view on things, so I try to be as optimistic as possible when we talk about things bothering either of us.

Just be there for him. He'll appreciate it, even if he doesn't say so