Any mature members whose first meet went sour?

[Benni]

I've read a few horror stories about first meets going badly and most of those are from the teens. I'm curious to know if the older members have any such stories to tell.

[AvaLouise]

Ohh I haven't heard any bad stories, now I'm all nervous

[lucybelle]

On this site, I've never seen any members not thoroughly enjoy their first meeting.

[Benni]

I read one last night and can't find it now but this one is still current -- poor girl!

https://members.lovingfromadistance....l=1#post237603

[snow_girl]

Of course 100% of meetings aren't going to be amazing, but to each their own. Some might be having prior issues before they get there, maybe one lied about their looks, who knows. You can't let some bad first meetings scare you from your own, everyones situations are completely different.

[Carenza LaRue]

o yeah...... about 12 years ago..... I was 30 then...... I met my SO from Edinburgh....

it looked very promising...... we went all the way by phone, email.... name it and we did it....
I met him at Schiphol, amsterdam and it turned out he didn't look like the man he pretended to be at all!

Mind you, this is pre- skype!... so I only saw him through piccies and heard him by phone and talked to him by mail..

to keep it short...... we had a great time before we met..... he stayed a weekend at my place...... I wasn't attracted to him at all but I still wanted to have the great sex he promised me...... he made me very horny with his 'talks' before he came visiting me...... so we went to bed.... and he couldn't get it up......
very awkward....... and very ending.....

and that is the reason my current SO and I never talk sex now..... I want our first time to be very special..... going to visit him in January and meet him for the first time.... we are good friends now..... and perhaps it remains this way.... but at least it's not tainted by 'sex talk' beforehand.

[Moon]

Mine was great (our second was a little dicey though), but I think it's just like meeting anyone for the first time, there are occasions where it just doesn't work out in person, but you can't scare yourself with that, or you'll question yourself forever. You just have to jump right in and see what happens which, in my opinion, is why first meetings should never be delayed wherever possible. Make sure you've got that in person chemistry before you invest too much time and emotion to the relationship.

[princessmeg1328]

My SO and I didn't have a good first meeting at all. We actually broke up for the first couple of days of my first visit there. It was absolutely awful! I had no idea what to do during those days we were broken up because I was staying at his house. Fortunately, one of my friends was also staying there because she was dating his brother. If it wasn't for her, I probably wouldn't have made it through those first few days. Fast forward to the end of the week, and we got back together. Two years later, we're planning a wedding for next year. Just because a first meeting doesn't go as planned, doesn't mean that it won't get better. Sometimes it just takes some perseverance and really good communication.

[AvaLouise]

I just don't understand. Like, do people just realize that they don't click In person? Or do they decide that they don't feel the same anymore? Ahh.

[Benni]

I wasn't attracted to him at all but I still wanted to have the great sex he promised me...... he made me very horny with his 'talks' before he came visiting me...... so we went to bed.... and he couldn't get it up......
very awkward....... and very ending.....

and that is the reason my current SO and I never talk sex now..... I want our first time to be very special.....

Wow! You have a great idea there, Carenza! We have a lot of sex talk and both sooooo horny, yet afraid it won't be the same when we meet. Maybe, I should talk to him about toning that down til our meet at Easter.

Thank you all for the great feedback. Meeting the first time is very scary and I get so anxious-ridden about it! I have met 3 local guys from online dating and all 3 were huge disappointments. B and I met on a photo-blogging site -- first just as friends, then it built from there. I hope all goes as well as we expect it to go.

[Benni]

I just don't understand. Like, do people just realize that they don't click In person? Or do they decide that they don't feel the same anymore? Ahh.

You can have a great online connection, then meet only to find out the chemistry just isn't there in person. Maybe, it's their mannerisms, their attitude, or them not being who they were online -- phony.

[Sharon Q]

Our first visit after he moved we faught a lot. But I think we were both stressed because we knew it was only gonna be a two weeks.

Over all we enjoyed seeing one another dispite the fights. Unfortunatly it was our first and last visit til I move there :/

[Verojoon]

I'm sure this isn't always the case, but my experience from meeting people from online (both guys or even girls as friends) is that how well they meet my expectations is directly proportional to how long we've been talking. Meeting local men from dating sites, you rarely talk for more than a few weeks (tops!!) before meeting... so it is much easier for them to not be what you expect... or for you to not have chemistry... But after talking a long time, especially with skype and voice, etc. it is pretty obvious (in my opinion) whether there will be chemistry or not!


When I met SO, it was soo comfortable, it was like that year we had been talking was a year we knew each other in person. I was surprised how easily it translated into our relationship physically...

The sex was also exactly how I expected it (actually better) we had talked about it so much in depth (not just saying sexy things but talking about insecurities, problems, etc.) that we knew exactly what to expect... only it turned out to be better than expected!

Editing post to add:

Our second visit was the one that had some adjustment pains... we fought some... and we hada much more difficult time saying good bye.. It ended up a dramatic mess that involved a temporary (only a few days) break-up! The third visit was like the first, except there was an added comfort related to knowing we had made it through a lot of hard time and were still just as much in love with each other....

[EnglishMan]

I just don't understand. Like, do people just realize that they don't click In person? Or do they decide that they don't feel the same anymore? Ahh.

Well I think it CAN be slightly different talking to someone in person and online. When you're on Skype or whatever, you're kinda dedicated to being infront of the screen for that time, whereas in person things like body language come into play, cuddling each other etc. There's a bit more to it in person than just online.

Not to say it can't be the same however, as long as you are both who you are online. I think what Moon said is right, you've gotta release your inhibitions as best as you can, throw yourself into it and just try and have the best time. From people's experiences that ive seen, they in the VAST majoirty seem to go better than expected. Rather than worry about it, think it'll go fine.

I'm sure this isn't always the case, but my experience from meeting people from online (both guys or even girls as friends) is that how well they meet my expectations is directly proportional to how long we've been talking. Meeting local men from dating sites, you rarely talk for more than a few weeks (tops!!) before meeting... so it is much easier for them to not be what you expect... or for you to not have chemistry... But after talking a long time, especially with skype and voice, etc. it is pretty obvious (in my opinion) whether there will be chemistry or not!


When I met SO, it was soo comfortable, it was like that year we had been talking was a year we knew each other in person. I was surprised how easily it translated into our relationship physically...

The sex was also exactly how I expected it (actually better) we had talked about it so much in depth (not just saying sexy things but talking about insecurities, problems, etc.) that we knew exactly what to expect... only it turned out to be better than expected!

Gotta agree with this too, things like body language and mannerisms etc do matter a bit, but with Skype and everything nowadays, you can know a person's personality relatively well before meeting them. You can see at least some of their mannerisms etc. I've always told my SO to act completely honestly with me and if she's had a rough day or whatever, not to just smile it over, because I think it's important to know what we're like when we're annoyed, down, or whatever. Fortunately for me, my SO is probably more open about things with me than she is 99% of other people so there's a good foundation there (and likewise, im open with her about my life too).

I think all you can do is the best you can do. It's obviously going to be slightly different in person than online just because it's a different environment, but the more you involve each other in each other's lives and the more open you are about your personality/feelings etc etc, then the fewer 'surprises' there should be when you meet. You see plenty of stories (not just on here btw, all over the internet) where people have clicked just as well, if not better, when they've met. Each relationship is different, but I think the statistics are in favour of it working out pretty well

[Benni]

Sharon, I would be mortified if we fought during our first meeting!

Englishman, you bring up some valid points, for sure, thank you!

I wish we could Skype. It'd be a great way to see mannerisms, etc. I have an idea on how to set it up but he is completely clueless when it comes to anything tech. Even if I explained it all step-by-step, he wouldn't "get it". Four degrees in Architecture, Animal Science, Art, and English but cannot grasp technology. Hahahaha!!

Verojoon, I am soooooo hoping our meeting turns out like yours! Yay!