Things were going really well. My boyfriend was starting to adjust better to his crazy hours at his internship. I was getting a few more hours at work. I had gotten the tickets to fly over and meet him for our very first time ever, and I was looking into hotel costs as well. Our being together in reality, after almost an entire year of dating was going to come true, and no matter how scared I was, I reassured me all was going to be ok, scoping out places in the park for us to visit and finding a nice restaurant we could go to.
Not anymore. He lost his job. I won't get into the unfair reasons here, but it happened. Now he has to go home with hs parents again who still don't know about me and probably won't approve when they do. We went from having everything finally falling into place after all our hard work, to absolutely nothing. I won't be seeing him in August anymore. Now, because I used all my resources for this trip, I can't plan for another one. He says he's coming over here, but now he's starting over. Has to find a new job and save from scratch. I could even handle waiting a bit longer, but there's one thing I can't handle.
Now that he's home, we can't talk every day. Sure. I can deal with not talking every day or every other day. What I can't deal with is not knowing WHEN we can talk again. Is it going to be tomorrow? Monday? A week from now?? I have no idea. When he's at home, things are difficult for both of us. There is no schedule we can make up. We just sort of have to hope that this day will be the day we can check in on each other. It hurts so much that I can't even properly form the words. I told him that by December I wanted some serious plans about our meeting again to be happening. But how can we plan anything if we don't even know how often we'll be able to talk. He's much more positive about this than I am, tells me that even if we don't know specifically when, we will still talk and work through this. I am not so sure. Yes I can call and text him, but now that he's at home, it's just like his internet access in that there's no gaurantee he can respond.
Please don't ask me things like 'How old are you guys?' and things like that. Yes, we are both legal adults (20 and 21), but I live at home as well and despite my age, in my household the rule goes,'you live under my roof, you follow my rules'. Maybe for some of you it's different and you have more freedom in that area, but it's not so easy for all of us to just up and move out and make our own rules. Right now I have to deal with the situation as is and I honestly don't know how to make the pain of it all fade away and cope.
Not anymore. He lost his job. I won't get into the unfair reasons here, but it happened. Now he has to go home with hs parents again who still don't know about me and probably won't approve when they do. We went from having everything finally falling into place after all our hard work, to absolutely nothing. I won't be seeing him in August anymore. Now, because I used all my resources for this trip, I can't plan for another one. He says he's coming over here, but now he's starting over. Has to find a new job and save from scratch. I could even handle waiting a bit longer, but there's one thing I can't handle.
Now that he's home, we can't talk every day. Sure. I can deal with not talking every day or every other day. What I can't deal with is not knowing WHEN we can talk again. Is it going to be tomorrow? Monday? A week from now?? I have no idea. When he's at home, things are difficult for both of us. There is no schedule we can make up. We just sort of have to hope that this day will be the day we can check in on each other. It hurts so much that I can't even properly form the words. I told him that by December I wanted some serious plans about our meeting again to be happening. But how can we plan anything if we don't even know how often we'll be able to talk. He's much more positive about this than I am, tells me that even if we don't know specifically when, we will still talk and work through this. I am not so sure. Yes I can call and text him, but now that he's at home, it's just like his internet access in that there's no gaurantee he can respond.
Please don't ask me things like 'How old are you guys?' and things like that. Yes, we are both legal adults (20 and 21), but I live at home as well and despite my age, in my household the rule goes,'you live under my roof, you follow my rules'. Maybe for some of you it's different and you have more freedom in that area, but it's not so easy for all of us to just up and move out and make our own rules. Right now I have to deal with the situation as is and I honestly don't know how to make the pain of it all fade away and cope.
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