Ugh Winter Break =(

[killerkaytee]

So I really need some advice, support, idk what about this dilemma I have about who is going where for Christmas. This past August I flew out to California and met my boyfriend's family for the first time and had a blast! They mentioned if I was coming back for Christmas which at the time I thought I was. Come to find out I NEED to take a class this winter to catch up with college which would probably start around Jan. 3rd and I go on break Dec. 21st. This means if I flew out there, I would be gone for Christmas and my family's Christmas party and come back home and have to go to school again.

I talked it over with Chris and he said he has no problem coming over my way for Christmas and it doesn't bother him that he is missing it with his family. I just feel so bad because I told his family I would be back and they were excited and now Chris told them I won't be able to. I feel selfish asking him to come over here and miss it with his family and I don't have to miss it with mine. I also feel terrible leaving my family and going over there if I decided to do that. I really have no idea what I should do to keep both families happy. I always have this fear that Chris' family is going to think I "took him away from them" and I NEVER want them to think that. Any advice would be very helpful because it really is starting to stress me out thinking about it.

[Black_Halloween]

Maybe you can compromise and go over there for another holiday?

[killerkaytee]

It's just that he wants to come here next summer so I wouldn't make it over there until next Christmas. I just hate making people feel sad =/

[Black_Halloween]

Awww, well you can't please everybody. Maybe his family can come with him?

[ashdav2010]

I agree with Halloween....you definitely can't please everyone. Surely his family would understand that things have changed since you planned to go out there for Christmas and that your schooling is important to you. I don't think they will feel like you are taking him away from them, it's all part of being in a relationship and growing up - you get to split or share holidays

[Romeo s Juliet]

umm this is a tough situation :/ but i agree with the above posters. you have to choose who you want to make happy. if your bf is okay with coming to meet and spend the Christmas with you, i think thats great and how about sending some great presents to his family for christmas, something heartfelt and warm. because you dont want them to think that you are being slefish by taking him away from them during the holiday season?

[EnglishMan]

We kinda have a similar issue, as i've always had the week between Christmas Eve and New Years Day considered as family time, but even a week long visit either side of that week would result in me being there during her college term (if only for a few days).

I dunno if this is plausible for you guys, but she's hopefully coming here in the summer and we're debating whether Easter would be easier for me to go (or some random 2 weeks in February if she doesn't mind me being there during college), although ideally we'll find a way for me to go to her over the few weeks around Christmas. Is it possible you can switch the Christmas meet to Easter or something instead?

[Zephii]

I think his family are likely to realise that as he grows up, he's not going to be home for every Christmas. Most couples I know are not lucky enough to have both sets of family in the same town, so they take turns, one year Christmas is at his parents, next it's at yours, kind of thing. And I guess some years, in the future when you live together, you might not be able to travel at Christmas for whatever reason, so you'll either stay home or your families will come see you in your own place.

Don't let it worry you so much.

[Chris516]

Chris is still making the decision to fly out to Maryland. You aren't forcing him, and his family can't accuse you of anything.

[killerkaytee]

Thank you everyone for the replies they've helped me out a lot. It looks like we're sticking with Chris coming here and he said his mom is understanding because it's school. I need to get over the fact that our families live so far away and we'll never be able to be all together every year

[Tooki]

If his family is so open to have you back at their house, then they should understand that you are better off staying home if you have to take a class. And they know that your BF can also travel to your area.