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Is a person more likely to be in another LDR if they had already been in one before?

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    Is a person more likely to be in another LDR if they had already been in one before?

    Before I met my current boyfriend whom I'm in a long distance relationship with, I was in 3 year international long distance relationship with a guy in the UK. My current boyfriend is in Missouri now so its at least in the same country now haha.

    I was pondering this thought... if a person was in a long distance relationship before, do you think they are more likely to get into another long distance relationship? This is what seemed to happen to me; however, I swore up and down to myself I would never do it again, but love is love haha

    So what do you think?

    #2
    I would think not because you know first hand how difficult it is. I know I wouldn't be in an LDR at all if I wasn't so in love with this person haha

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      #3
      I always said that I would never be in a ldr. This is the first one I have been in and hopefully the last. I just kinda fell for the guy that I talked to every day, nothing was planned.
      For him, most of his relationships have been long distance of some sort. He said that he was done with them after the last one.. but now he's in one once again.. and I'm glad he changed his mind. XD
      "Babe, I'm totally murdering everyone in this building right now! ... You would be so proud of me."
      This. This is only one of the reasons that I love this man. XD



      "I'll surrender up my heart and swap it for yours."
      Por siempre, mi amor. ♥

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        #4
        I think you actually are more likely, provided that you don't have a horrible experience that is specifically caused by the distance. I feel like most people who haven't been in an LDR are not as willing to try one, especially after having CD relationships-- like, if you asked them, "Would you ever date someone long-distance?" a lot of them would say no, even if some of them end up dating LD later on. I think this makes them less willing to give it a try when someone does come along that they might possibly consider dating from a distance.

        All of my relationships have been long-distance and I swore I was done after the last one ended horribly (due to the person he was, not the distance), but I made an exception for my current SO, largely in part because I was not afraid of the distance, as I had dealt with it before.
        Canadian permanent residence APPROVED!
        Closed the Distance: 09/26/2019
        Engaged: 09/26/2020

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          #5
          I think it depends on the experience. My boyfriend had an LDR before me -- he said he liked her as a friend all along, but he managed to be faithful for a year and a half. I guess that would mean he has more experience, as would other people who have gone through it.

          Of course, it also depends on if the experience was good or bad. If you break up horribly with someone, you might end up blaming the LDR and not do it again. Just like how someone might date someone from X race, then they break up horribly and then say "I'm never dating X people again!" /: idk.
          "If you get hungry enough, they say, you start eating your own heart"

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            #6
            Seriously, it all depends on whether you enjoyed the LDR, how much you loved that special someone, whether the visits were enjoyable, etc etc. But I also figure that it also has to do with LDRs being a test of patience and trust. It takes a great amount of those two things in order to have an LDR work, so if you're experienced in that, then chances are in the future you would not be too dismissive of getting into another LDR.

            But that's just me, seeing as I've been in three so far, none CD-based.

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              #7
              I think it depends on the person and their situation, older people would be less likely to start another LDR due to wanting to settle down with someone while a young teen might try it again because they don't feel that rush. It also depends on how a previous LDR ended, if it ended badly or because someone couldn't handle being LD they probably wouldn't try again.

              Notes:
              Met: 8.17.09
              Started Dating: 8.20.09
              First Met: 10.2.10
              Closed the Distance: 8.9.14

              Comment


                #8
                Depends on the person. I've been through 4 LDRs and the previous ones all failed. I never have up hope on them though, simply because I knew with the right person they could work out. Although if my LDR with Chris failed, I wouldn't ever do it again. Too much hurt.

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                  #9
                  I think it's a phenomenon of our time. I hardly know anybody who has never been in any sort of ldr. It might not be international but university, jobs or whatever might force you to live apart for a while. Weekend relationships are probably most common.
                  In a previous relationship we went ld after five years cd because I moved to England for university for a year. Life happens and nowadays it seems to be normal.
                  I guess no one does is deliberately but you can't choose who you love

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                    #10
                    I wouldn't be looking for one, considering that I know how hard an international LDR is.

                    But at the same time, I have a love for foreign.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by Sora1101 View Post
                      I think it depends on the person and their situation, older people would be less likely to start another LDR due to wanting to settle down with someone while a young teen might try it again because they don't feel that rush.
                      It's an interesting perspective.

                      That said, I'm really thankful we met when we were nearer to thirties as I think this makes maintaining a LDR a lot easier. We earn enough to visit regularly, we live on our own (so no issues with parents) and it gives us the foundations to make realistic plans for the future.

                      Back when I was a teen, I was too impatient to handle a LDR. There wasn't much to do except go to school and hang out with friends. Time went MUCH slower than it does now. Not being able to see my boyfriend for 3 months would make me give up on the relationship pretty soon. In comparison, any relationship that lasted for over 3 months was considered long term.

                      Not sure how that reflects on whether I'd like to try again - probably would, in the right circumstances.

                      Like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. - Steve Jobs

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                        #12
                        This is my 1st time bein in a LDR.
                        Like some said i wouldn't be lookin for one.
                        I don't regret doing it, but i wouldn't want to go through it all again.
                        It's very painful.

                        I hope to close the distance soon and keep my bf forever! : )
                        ♡ ~~~~ 'When you find something worth fighting for, you never give up' ~~~~ ♡

                        Comment


                          #13
                          I think this kind of depends a lot on the way you manage your social interactions. If you're the type who spends huge chunks of your time doing interactive gaming, chatting on forums, hanging on places like FB, yeah, you're gonna be much more likely to be in another LDR, since that's how you meet people, rather than locally. For me, I do very little of that stuff, I'm in an LDR because we met through work, so while I'd have no problem being in another one, I don't think my chances are that great.
                          Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by Moon View Post
                            I think this kind of depends a lot on the way you manage your social interactions. If you're the type who spends huge chunks of your time doing interactive gaming, chatting on forums, hanging on places like FB, yeah, you're gonna be much more likely to be in another LDR, since that's how you meet people, rather than locally. For me, I do very little of that stuff, I'm in an LDR because we met through work, so while I'd have no problem being in another one, I don't think my chances are that great.
                            I agree with this.

                            I socialise both online and in my courses, but I have always found it difficult to find people I am mentally on par with. Sure, I have people who are my age that I love speaking to, and I have days where I act young and childish, but most of my social circle is made up of my mother, some of my mother's friends, professors, and people I have met online who are older than I am. It is simply the age group I click with, and I have always had the issue of being more socially compatible with people several years my senior. While I am sure that I could meet someone who shares my interests and who matches me intellectually somewhere at my university, it's difficult to find when most of your courses have 200+ people and you're only at them two times a week. So for me, being able to spend time socialising online has expanded my social circle in the sense I am able to meet people I feel more comfortable talking to and people with who I share more in common, so for me, it's made sense that I'm in a LDR, simply because it allowed easier access to finding someone who matches for me maturity and other characteristics I find equally important.

                            However, I don't feel that being in a LDR makes you any more or less likely to be in a LDR again, except for in the case of extremes. For example, if you meet someone as a teenage or college aged girl, fall in love, go to meet said someone, and then find out that they're really a 50-year-old basement dweller, at which point they try and wrestle you into a car to take you into their hotel room, my guess would be you're going to be less likely to think of the internet as a dating outlet. Conversely, if you meet someone, get married all in the same year, and that marriage lasts for 15 years, you may see the internet as a social networking device in a positive light and use it in the future. But I don't think that, outside of extremes, it's going to do anything but change your perspective on what a LDR actually is. I feel like the likelihood of a LDR is oftentimes more down to the fact that so many people nowadays socialise via the internet. I realise that this isn't the only way to end up in a LDR, but for the purpose of this question, I'm discounting relationships where there was prior CD contact.
                            { Our Story on LFAD }


                            Our Beginning
                            Met online: February 2009
                            Feelings confessed: December 2010
                            Unofficially together since: January/February 2011
                            Officially together since: 08 April 2011

                            Our Story
                            First meeting in person: 16 August - 14 September 2011
                            Second visit: 17 March - 01 April 2012
                            Third visit: 23 July - 13 September 2012
                            Fourth visit: Looking at 23 March - 6 April 2013

                            Our Happily Ever After
                            to be continued...

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                              #15
                              I think so, yes. This is my second LDR. The other one, well, we knew we weren't going to be moving to be with each other. It just wasn't working out. A year later, I'm in another LDR and this one is and will work out! My bf, on the other hand, has said he would never be in a LDR because he likes to see his woman. The only reason he's in this with me (other than he loves me, and blah blah blah mushy stuff) is because we see each other so frequently. We see each other for 5 days every other week. We are just fortunate that my work schedule allows me to be flexible with my days off!! Would I enter into another? Yes, probably, but only if he isn't too far away so we could see each other often!

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