A simple quarrel turns in to a big fight.

[dorabase93]

As a title said my SO and I are having a long and tiring fight. It started really simple. I just arrived in the UK and I unpacked my stuff while skyping with her. and I make a joke that I left the shirt she gave me at home (think again, it is kinda cruel ) and then I showed it to her. but after that she just turned off skype and stopped talking to me for a while. she was sad because she always thought that I never liked the shirt. she designed it herself so she really love it. honestly I love it too, but in the way of appreciating her effort (she made it in 2 months!). but it doesn't fit me, it was too big. the only thing I didn't like is the size. as a tall and skinny guy I don't think I can wear it. but the thing is, she want me to like it because I like it. don't get me wrong, I really appreciate the effort and love she put in the shirt and I tried to tell her so. The only reason I don't wear it is that it makes my look like a stick. but fortunately, it can be fixed. however I am quite forgetful and didn't remember to bring it to the tailor. I think she is sad because I don't like it as much as she expected.
I'm really confused, am I insensitive about this or is her expectation/definition of liking her shirt is too big? how can I settle this with her?

and one more thing, could anyone tell me how to make a t shirt fitter? all ideas are appreciated hope that there are some tailors in this forum

[Zephii]

I'm a little confused as to whether you actually left the shirt at home or not :/ but that's beside the point.

I'm not a tailor, I'm just a housewife. And so my first instinct is to try and shrink the shirt as it goes through the wash. If you wash and dry clothes containing cotton on the highest heat settings available, they often shrink. Of course, if there is a rubber picture or anything on the front, this is a bad idea, as it can fade and crack, and pretty much destroy the design.

I understand that she's hurt, I think we all would be, but the fact is, people are so different with their unique preferences and tastes that you really can not give a great gift every single time. I know there are things my husband has given me that I either didn't like at first (my engagement ring) or never grew to like at all. Just as there are some gifts I've given him that he was dubious about, didn't understand or didn't like. (I'm pretty certain he didn't like the pet rock I made him, for example)
That's just how it is. But it is hard, especially when you've put in the effort to make something. She probably feels a mix of failure and stuff.

Resizing it and wearing it might fix the problem, or she might just have convinced herself that you are only doing it to shut her up. There's just no way to tell. I think your best bet is to apologize for the out of taste joke (which you have likely already done) and then just drop the issue unless she brings it up again. If she brings it up again, hopefully you'd have had the chance to resize it, and may have even gotten come compliments from others when wearing it. These things would be positive for her to know.

[Haley53]

My SO found a shirt I bought him from my university to cheer him up a little too flamboyant, so he turned it into a night shirt. It went from me feeling bad/hurt because I got him something he wouldn't wear, and to my understanding, didn't care for (tactful as he was), to me feeling like even if it wasn't to his particular taste, it was still something he appreciated and wanted to make use of. The fact that he either slept with it on or with it during the night made me feel like he loved it and appreciated it simply because it was from me. Conversely, he gave me a Call of Duty shirt - an old one of his - to sleep with, and I love it. It's not something I would wear out, but it's nice to have it close to me at night. Perhaps this compromise would work for you, too? I feel like it makes it easier when it's getting more use out of it than collecting dust in the closet.

[Amelia]

My SO bought me this shirt for christmas and omg i originally thought it was a joke and was like i didnt know we were also giving joke presents..he was so angry at me... after continuous apologies i wear it now to sleep pretty much all the time and ive grown to love it. ive now learnt that with any shirts i get and im not a 100% huge fan of it or shouldnt wear it in public i'll wear it to bed. Now whenever we see a funny or embarassing shirt we buy it for eachother its kind of a tradition

[Malaga]

I'd just take it to the tailor to have it fitted without mentioning it to your girlfriend. When you bring it up to get her clearance, to her it may sound as if you're saying, I'll make that effort if I must, which can get her cross. Just go ahead and do it, don't make a big deal of it.

If that's the only reason and you like the shirt otherwise, then you'll be able to wear it and she'll feel better about it. After this whole thing calms down, casually let her know what size you normally wear so there are no situations like that in the future.

[Tooki]

The only thing that you can do in the future is give your GF your clothing sizes. My GF knows my sizes, so if she buys me a shirt, it's a great fit.