And now all the plans have gone up in smoke...

[Lady Grimm]

Okay, I'm going into meltdown mode. I have to vent somewhere. I certainly can't vent to my SO because, first of all, I don't want him to feel bad. Second of all, it isn't his fault.

Our plans fell through. As you can see from my Daisypath, we were supposed to spend the holidays together in a few months. He just told me today he can't come to see me. Apparently he needs to be in his country because there are due dates on some assignments during his break. Why there would be assignments due is beyond me. I don't understand that at all. How can you have assignments during a scheduled holiday? It makes no sense, but whatever.

Thankfully, we don't have tickets booked so we didn't loose out on any money. Still, it doesn't make me any less upset. I can't go see him because my university's holiday break is different from his, and by the time I go there, we'll only get a couple of days together before he has to be back at uni. His uni is quite far away from where he lives, and he has to take a fairly long train journey to get there so he would be away pretty much from 8AM to 10PM. We'd have no time together. I love him dearly, I really do, but the cost of flights (which are at least 17 hours worth of traveling) and the lack of time we'd get out of it just doesn't justify the expense.

We haven't missed spending holidays together in years. I'm crushed.

[squeeker]

Aww no!! I'm so sorry for you both that you can't spend the holidays together especially when you thought you had pretty concrete plans already to do so! Is there a way for him to finish his assignments early and hand them in or is that asking too much? It probably is since uni assignments are tough.. and anyways that just sucks and is so disappointing for you. I hope you two can plan your next vacation again soon.. Even if just an extended summer holiday together or maybe even spring break if it lines up okay? Take care and I hope things level out again soon.. that would be so disappointing.

[Lady Grimm]

Thanks, squeeker. I appreciate it. <3

I don't know, I'll mention it tomorrow and see if it is possible for him to finish early. I didn't push the subject when we were talking because he seemed upset about the whole thing. Since it was late and I didn't want him to go to bed with negative thoughts, I mostly left things alone. Still, I have the same thoughts as you. Uni is challenging so it might be too much.

I don't even know what I'm expecting to get out of venting. It won't make me feel much better. Perhaps spring break or an extended summer holiday will be possible, so thank you for the suggestion. It is just hard having such a long time between visits since we'd gotten so used to regular visits over the last few years.

[pink elephant]

Oh no.. I'm really sorry that things won't work out for your holiday plans.

I understand the assignments being due during the holidays part - when my SO was still in university, I had come over to visit him during the winter holidays but he still had a few assignments to complete and submit before the end of the calendar year. A bit different for me because I was there with him, but because he had to focus on his course work and wanted to do well, I felt like I was being more of a hindrance than a positive addition..

It's so thoughtful and great that you're being so understanding about this. I can't imagine how unbelievably frustrating it is that you won't get to be there with him, but remain supportive and see if there are other options - like squeeker's suggestion of possibly completing assignments earlier.. if he's able to, that is to say.

How is he taking all this?

[Lady Grimm]

Thanks, pink elephant.

I see your SO is from Scotland... Is it just me, or is the UK really messed up when it comes to uni work?! If I had assignments over Christmas holidays, it would dampen my entire break! Being a hindrance is another part of why I don't want to go. When my SO was in college (since your SO is from Scotland, I probably don't have to explain, but I'll mention it just in case about how over there they generally go to college after secondary school, and before uni), I was there over the holidays. For about a week and a half of that time, he was going to college everyday. When he got back, he had college work and he seemed to have a difficult time focusing, and he never wanted to do work that he needed to do because I was there. Even if I was willing to go this time, I'd just be getting in the way.

I'm certainly trying my best to be understanding. Obviously I'm still incredibly upset, but uni is more important. Plus, he didn't ask to be in this assignment situation so I can't hold it against him.

It is tough to tell how he is taking the whole thing. Generally speaking, he doesn't like to show any negative emotions. He is the type to bottle it up. In person, I crack him, but over Skype it is challenging for me to see it. He certainly wasn't his usual enthusiastic self, and he sounded devastated as he worked up the courage to tell me. Admittedly, my voice gave away my sadness. He picked up on that, and spent over half an hour trying to comfort me and cheer me up. Kept saying how he'd make it up to me, how we'd see each other and be together again soon. That it wasn't the end, and that even though I can't have him for the holidays, I have him for good so it doesn't matter because he'll move here soon. All sorts of sweet things. He even tried to be cheerful for me. I put on a brave tone and thanked him for being a sweetheart. After that, he just tried to change the subject.

[Black_Halloween]

awwww I can't imagine how you're feeling, but maybe you can plan an extended summer vacation?

[Lady Grimm]

awwww I can't imagine how you're feeling, but maybe you can plan an extended summer vacation?

I'm hoping we can do something like that. I mean, I can't complain about our usual summer visits. They are usually three to four months together. Still, it was looking to be considerably shorter this year for a variety of reasons, but perhaps I'll try to see if we can work around some things and extend it to our usual long, drawn out visits.

[Tooki]

If it's the situation that I think it is, he is able to get assignments due in the Christmas break because he still has class to attend after the break. Sadly there isn't much that you can do about it.

[Lady Grimm]

If it's the situation that I think it is, he is able to get assignments due in the Christmas break because he still has class to attend after the break. Sadly there isn't much that you can do about it.

I figured his. It is just such an odd concept to me. University where I live doesn't work that way. We finish all the things for our classes, and do exams before holidays, then have a Christmas break to relax, followed by a whole new batch of different classes! I definitely like our way better. -sigh-

[BellaJedi]

Is he not able to e-mail his assignments at all? Either to a teacher/professor or a friend in the class who can print them out and bring them in for him? That seems totally unreasonable to make people stay back on the holidays just because of assignments

I like our way better too - I love having the winter break off to NOT stress about things. I'm sorry about the situation

[pink elephant]

Yeah, I felt kind of weird about the whole having homework/course work/essays/whatever having to be done during winter break -- but I felt even worse for my at the time boyfriend, now husband, that he had to do it while I was there. I just understood it that he probably still had the same kind of courses after break where work was due and that perhaps the academic semester/period didn't end before the break, like as Tooki mentioned.

Kudos to you for being so strong. I think it's important to continue being as supportive as you have been from discovering that he won't be able to visit - because he's probably going to need your support the most when he has to finish his work.

Besides, looking on the bright side, with your SO saying something like,

Even though I can't have him for the holidays, I have him for good so it doesn't matter because he'll move here soon.

He sounds like a pretty awesome guy.

[XxFranticLovexX]

Is he not able to e-mail his assignments at all? Either to a teacher/professor or a friend in the class who can print them out and bring them in for him? That seems totally unreasonable to make people stay back on the holidays just because of assignments

I like our way better too - I love having the winter break off to NOT stress about things. I'm sorry about the situation

I would look into this option as well. It could be a very possible solution, especially if he explains to his university that he has plans to be out of the country for the break. ^^

I live in the US and I have had assignments over breaks as well (in high school and in college) it sucks but there isn't much that you can do about it, sadly. :/

I wish you luck and hope that you can work something out! <3

[Romeo s Juliet]

i m sorry i know uni assignments are tough, and they take a whole deal of time and energy out of you, last march my bf had 2 months university holidays and all his uni assignments were due during the holidays. and he worked his ass out all through out the holiday months, and we didnt get any time to even chill or enjoy alone, so what i did was i helped him a lot on completing his assignments. we both worked.

i wanted to say that sometimes things happen, we have no control over those things. it is annoying and pissing off when that happens, but it is out of our hands, like the above posters have said, is there a way he can sumbit them online?

and also is there any way he can finish off the assignments earlier? maybe if you can help him? so its done early, do not worry, even if things go wrong there is one thing you can be sure of and that is that his love will never change for you no matter what so i suggest being his support at this point, even though you feel bad and upset.
good luck

[Tooki]

I figured his. It is just such an odd concept to me. University where I live doesn't work that way. We finish all the things for our classes, and do exams before holidays, then have a Christmas break to relax, followed by a whole new batch of different classes! I definitely like our way better. -sigh-

I think that it's pretty odd as well. I'm in the Southern Hemisphere so I have my 3 months summer break over Christmas.

You would think that they would finish up the subjects before Christmas. But alas, what can you do.

[SoFarAway]

Thanks, pink elephant.

I see your SO is from Scotland... Is it just me, or is the UK really messed up when it comes to uni work?!

It's the same in Germany as well. My sister's uni work is messed up since semesters end at the end of January. I really don't get why they do it that way. But it causes that she has to turn in a lot of semester work during the holidays. Won't he be able to turn his papers online? He might be able to talk to his professors and maybe they can give him approval of doing so