What would he want!!!!? :(

[prinzeza87]

many of u here knows that my ex SO broke up w me 3 days ago n its been an agony.
yesterday he started txtn, he sent me 5 txts throughout the day till very late at night
1.hey are u ok?
2.just let me know ur alive its all u got so say
3. hello!!?
4.really after all that we had? not even a text saying im ok or hi?
5.well :/ thanks for being my friend after all
then i said, this is what u provoked
6.i didnt, you dont know how i feel
7.so dont think u do
8. u suppose to be my friend :/ and at least text me
then around 1 am, i ironically woke up even though i had my phone in silence n he was calling me! such a coincidence, i answered n hung up right away
9.there was something i wanted to tell u but ig ill let u figure out when u want to hear it.

im not gonna lie, im dying to answer him (dnt know w what purpose) but im still so hurt that im doing the best i can not to answer anything.
one day we both agreed that if we ever broke up we were gonna b friends blah blah but shortly after that i told him that i retracted from wat i said, that i cant not b friends with someone i love n doesn't feel the same for me.
i am planning on changing my #, but for right know i cant. he ignored me many times b4 for various reasons knowing that i hated that, now me doing the same to him brings me some kind of ease to my pain to make him feel a lil bit of what im feeling.
im all confused, i dnt want to close myself to the possibility of a reconciliation if its meant to happen but not until i healed up enough to even try to give him a chance again... him texting me doesnt not make it more difficult to me (at least thats what i feel)

whats your point of view? what is it that he's trying to do or want?! should i answer anything back

[alittlemind]

It seems that he just wants to talk to you. He has something to say and you're making it a little difficult for him to tell you. If it was me, I would just listen to what he has to say. Then after you've heard what he has to say, you can tell him you no longer want to speak with him, and cut contact.

[eveningsky]

Maybe he wants some closure. I would be curious to what he has to say but on the other hand I would highly suggest you just cut all contact. The only way to know what he wants is to talk to him and observe his actions. It's possible he doesn't know what he wants.
Your situation reminds me of my situation with my ex (although we were younger). My ex and I were long distance after he joined the military and got stationed in Japan. He broke up with me long distance and then a few months later called me randomly, we got back together, and, well, he's my ex. Maybe he doesn't want to get back together but it's painful. I remember when my ex and I broke up (for good), we said we'd be friends. We talked once and that hurt me so much because he didn't want to get back together but I guess it was good to have that closure of: "Well, this is what you really want huh? Okay....I can't believe we're really done" (he broke up with me 3 times!) I'm glad I had that opportunity though...to know what guys act like when they don't really want to be with me even if they say they do. It's simple though: actions speak louder than words.

[jleec24]

I definitely agree. You should just listen to what he's got to say. The one thing I have always hated whilst being in an LDR is not being given the chance or the opportunity to say something or to be heard because it's just so easy to ignore a text or hang up a phone or sign offline on whatever instant messaging platform. It leaves you hurting when you've just really got something to say and you end up being ignored. Whether or not you'll like what you hear in the end I do thoroughly suggest that you do listen to him just because it makes you the bigger person by doing the right thing.

[temporaryuser]

i too would listen to what he has to say. text him and tell him you will be available at a particular time (say 9-10 pm on a particular nite - or whatever is good for you). Pick a time that you will not be rushed or distracted with other things.
hear him out. And then explain how what he did made you feel. he needs to know that he is not the only one that gets closure, if that is what he is looking for.

[Black_Halloween]

I don't agree with everybody else, honestly. It sounds like he wants to remain friends but it looks like that is far from what you want. He had his chance with you and now that he's made his choice, he can live with it. You need to take care of yourself and not worry about what he wants.

[elizabethjp2010]

I am a very strong believer that you can not stay friends with an ex. He broke up with you for a reason, you two arent together for a reason, so unless that reason disappears, its just going to cause you more pointless heartache down the road. I might just be mean, but i would say look i dont want to hear it, you dumped me when i did nothing but love you, if i wasnt good enough to be your girlfriend what would make you think i would want to be your friend, i cant be your friend. I wouldnt listen to it, because you dont want to spend time getting back over him, OR get hurt worse by what he has to say, sometimes "closure" is only good for one side of the relationship not both and you need to do whats best for you.

[Sharon Q]

It sounds like he is worried about you. Its fine if you dont want to be friends but I think you should at least let him know you are okay. When people worry they tend to think the worst. Its been three days perhaps he regrets leaving you.

Who knows. You wont know until you talk to him.

If I was in your position I would text back something shirt like " im okay. I dont feel like talking right now "

And then just leave it at that. A text would be easier for you than a phone call. You dont have to listen to what he has to say, or deal with near as much emotion that way.

[Sharon Q]

Also remember that actions speak much louder than words.

During one of my Breaks with my SO he said he no longer wanted me in his life.
Yet he kept calling and eventually wanted to talk things out.

Just using that as an example

[Malaga]

You don't owe him anything. If he genuinely wanted to be your friend and if he genuinely cared for how you feel, he would've respected the fact you're not ready to talk after he broke your heart. He wouldn't throw his toys out of the pram. Maybe he's looking for an ego boost, wants to hear how you miss him and want to get together. Whatever it is he 'wants to tell you', he's still acting selfish and petulant. Screw that, man.

[Skye]

It all depends on how you feel! I think you should hear out what he has to say so you don't look back and have to wonder n torment yourself of what he could have wanted; but are you willing to risk him telling you something that may hurt you even further? The fact that he's still contacting you and according to what he's texted you, he seems to still care about you and is still reaching out. But you have to establish whether you have decidedly cut him off no matter what (meaning you're officially done with him and nothing he says or does will convince you to get back together) or if you are willing to speak to him. But remember, only speak with him if you feel you can handle whatever the nature of the conversation may be (him being distant or cold, or him confusing you by wanting to get back together, etc.). Make sure he's not stringing you along. If he only sounds friendly and doesn't mention reconciliation, cut him off because you need to heal and him contacting you won't help. Do what's right for you! We're all here for you!

[Berna]

Breadcrumbs.

A dumper usually feels guilty after dumping, so he checks on you to ease his guilt. When you reply, he feels better about himself, and then he disappears. Been there, done that.

He dumped you. That is the reality. It's your choice: either talk to him now, see what he wants (but be prepared to get back to square one), and then explain to him you are ready to move on now; or simply stay no contact and concentrate on yourself. I've been reading a lot on break ups lately and I've realised, that when a guy wants to be with you, he will do whatever it takes to be with you. He doesn't dump you or throw you breadcrumbs! If you want more than his breadcrumbs, move on! I doubt it that he can offer you what you need.

[temporaryuser]

I understand what others are saying. My oint is, if you are over him and do not want him back after wghat he did, then take this time to hear him out and then tell him so. Thank him for taking the time to tell you what he wanted to and then point blank tell him that you are over it and not to contact you again.
That way you will have closure.
if you would still take him back, take what he says with a grain of salt. he is going to have to be completely honest about why he wanted things to be over. And completely open about why he changed his mind

[Berna]

Any updates? How have you been doing?