I'm freaking out

[AvaLouise]

I've always had problems with relationships. Granted, I'm only 16, but what I've concluded is that I get annoyed too easily with people I'm dating and I just push people away. I told myself I wouldn't let that happen with Michael but I feel like it is. It's not all giggly smiles like it was the first month or so that we were together, now it's almost like a routine.

Every guy I've dated, I've ended up breaking up with after a few months because it just hits me one day that I no longer like them. It's not that I don't like him still, of course I do, but I think I'm afraid that I'm getting too attached.

It was so bad earlier when I called him on skype, the second he started talking I started freaking out in my head, almost threw up, and told him I had to go. I then proceeded to have a panic attack in the shower.

If I'm having second thoughts now, imagine how it'll be in a month or two, when he already has his plane ticket? I tried talking to him about what I'm freaking out about but I couldn't seem to explain it well enough for him to understand and I don't know I don't know I don't know

How can I get over my fear of getting too attached or just being so claustrophobic

[Tooki]

If you are having panic attacks, you need to see somebody about that.

Also you can talk about your commitment issues as well

[Black_Halloween]

Do you have any underlying issues that have not been addressed that would explain the long term commitment issues?

[Tooki]

On another tangent, what exactly about Michael is most attractive to you? Are they things that are applicable to a long-term relationship?

[Kiyama]

On another tangent, what exactly about Michael is most attractive to you? Are they things that are applicable to a long-term relationship?

I was wondering the same thing. Maybe there is a valid reason or your feelings and you just can't face it. You said you broke up with exes because you didn't like them anymore. Obviously you know what you want and being with someone who you don't have the right feelings for is silly.
I don't know what your feelings for Michael are but that's something only you can tell

[AvaLouise]

If you are having panic attacks, you need to see somebody about that.

Also you can talk about your commitment issues as well

I did therapy for a while (parents believed I had anger issues) and we talked about it but she just said its normal in teenagers, especially in my case as I've been through a lot in the past year. Long story short, therapy didn't work too well because I'd leave every session even more pissed and on the edge then I was before.

But I'm not sure what causes the commitment problems, as it seems to be a problem in my brother as well, who's 23. I think it's something I'll just grow out of eventually, but if not I'm just sort of out of luck.

Me and Michael discussed this more over Skype and it ended badly, lots of tears and raised voices, but things seemed to have calmed down. I slept for a bit and I think now that it was just a short wave of panic washing over me, kind of saying "are you really ready for this?" I'm really an introvert, and I usually just don't let people in, but he managed to get past my walls so quickly that it kind of made me nervous/confused I suppose.


I don't know what it is I'm so scared of. I think I'm just so used to relying on myself for happiness and I don't really want that to change.

[SoFarAway]

Think about your SO and then tell me what you really like about him. Look for a reason why you are dating him. If that doesn't make you feel more sure about your relationship, you need to think about the fact if you are actually ready for one. there is no shame in being alone, but it proves true strength to make a decision based on it.