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    Unfamiliar territory

    Hey, I'm a bit new here uvu I've been with Tobi for about a month and a half now, though we've been good friends for quite a bit longer. Our relationship is anything but typical. At 16 and with him at 19, things have been interesting considering he's never had a healthy relationship and I've never had one at all, especially since I live in Ontario and he in Michigan. He has a past with depression and anxiety as well as being pre-T transgender. We make it work, though and generally, we're happy. He's my best friend above all and since I met him I've really grown as a person. He's wonderfully patient, kind, creative, romantic, silly and intelligent. We work well together.

    Lately though, things have been a bit weird, for lack of a better word. Since about the beginning of October I've just felt a bit alienated from him, as if we weren't quite as close as before or that talking to him was a bit of an annoyance. Everything just feels off. I've distanced myself as well, although not purposely. Last night we talked it over and decided to just step back and give each other some space to sort through this. For me, it would be to figure out all these intense and new things, being my first relationship, including the woes and joys of an LDR. Today was good to me, but as I found out earlier, things haven't been so good to him. Where as I've been enjoying some space to think, it looks like he's afraid of abandonment which is perfectly normal and understandable coming from him and what he's been through. Hearing about this and the nightmares he's had, though, is making me worry and think.

    The core of the matter is, what's going on here? Is this normal? I'm not really sure what to do next and I'm just plain conflicted.

    #2
    I don't know what the difference is between Pre-T Transgender and regular transgender is, so I don't know if that transition is giving him trouble. From what Darth has said on here over the years, I get the feeling that during the shift transgender people need a lot of support - which is hard to give them because they seem to withdraw at the same time.

    It could be that yous are just growing apart for a little while too, that happens a lot in teenagehood. I've never really understood people needing to take a break to think though, so I can't help you there.

    When it comes to what to do next though... what do YOU want to do?
    Happily married to the little Canadian boy I never thought I'd meet in person

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      #3
      Oh, it's just that he identifies as male without any biological modification or transition yet. Anyway I want this to work out in the long run but I feel like I can't quite decide where my feelings are at. The change from close friends to being in a relationship is weird and I felt like I needed to take a step back and sort it out. He's been aloof, too, but that is most likely because he hasn't been taking his antidepressants like he should be. /sighs/

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