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Would you ever respond to contact from an ex who did you wrong?

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    #16
    Hi Biscous! Like Kitty said, I'm also glad to see you continuing to have no contact and get your life rolling. Hard to believe that was 4/5 months ago. Like the others have said, keep doing what you're doing. It's not worth all the emotions and memories opening back up to talk to her.

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      #17
      If I ever spoke to my ex again, it would be to discuss our son - only. There is nothing left in me that feels one bit sorry for him, nor do I have any lingering feelings at all. He did quite a number on me, and the only thing I might ever say to him other than talking about our son is "thank you for being the jerk you are so I knew what I didn't deserve". Alas, he hasn't bothered to contact us in 3 years so if he did now, the cynic in me would just assume his wife dumped him and he thought I might be an easy target.

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        #18
        While SO and I were broken up over the summer, I dated another man for a month. It was really great and he kept talking about the future... It was only a month so we had no time to figure out anything about how compatible we were etc... so all seemed amazing... and then he just ditched me... with no explanation whatsoever... it made no sense... He stopped answering my texts most of the time... but would answer me like once a week... so I didn't know if I should stop talking to him or not...

        Then we went with no contact for like 2 months. During that time he met another girl and got engaged to her. About a week before his wedding he showed up at my house apologizing and wanting to talk.

        I smiled at him. Told him he had nothing to apologize about and that we had nothing to talk about. He continued apologizing and I just kept repeating don't worry about it... until he mumbled something to me about calling him or texting him so he could explain what had happened...

        Sure I was curious for an explanation but I had completely moved on by then and I didn't want any chances of getting tangled up in his crap again...

        That was 2 months ago. We haven't had contact since... though I did learn the crazy story behind his whirlwind marriage from some friends. I understand now and I have no bitterness left... at the same time, I have no desire to be friends with him either!
        First met online: June, 2010
        First met in person: August, 2011 (See the story of our first visit)
        Second visit: December, 2011 (Christmas and New Years together!)
        Third visit together: August, 2012
        Fourth visit: December 2012 (Christmas and New Years together!)
        Fifth visit: July 2013 (2 weeks here in Canada)
        Sixth visit: December 2013 (Christmas and New Years together again and I finally met his mother!)
        Next visit: Unknown... for now but coming up ASAP

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          #19
          I've been in many variations of this situation. Worst one when me and my xSO were together, his ex sending him all those sorts of messages, trying to get under his skin, asking for his help. She was outta people and she also realised what she'd given up. Although the xSO messaging me randomly after 5 months because he couldnt let go probably ranked up there too.

          Steer clear is my advise...no good can come of this I promise you. Maybe send her a final message expressing your wishes clearly "please stop contacting me" for example and then lock off all contact. Maybe even change your number. It will be better for your sanity and healing in the long run if you do.
          Tea and hugs make the world go round - don't ever discount the little things in life.


          Smiling away to oneself brings an obscene amount of joy when only you know the reason why your smiling. Pick something secret to smile about and let it light up your face all day long!

          And remember....Love really IS all around.

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            #20
            I would say no contact...my ex tried to contact me 7 months after he broke up with me (broke up with me through an email!). During that time he had gotten engaged 3 months after breaking up with me. He ended up being a total player. The irony was his fiance broke up with him via email after she figured out what kind of guy he really was. He emailed me wanting my phone number and wanted to talk. I just deleted the email and moved on with my life. He tried to become my facebook friend a few months ago and I just blocked him. No reason to open up old wounds plus I am so much happier without any contact from him. If you just ignore the messages your ex will get the hint you don't want to talk to them, no reason to have to spell it out for them.


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              #21
              Originally posted by Biscous View Post
              I'm interested in hearing this speech
              oh it was very unlike me i think i practiced it a billion times in the mirror, i should type it up

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                #22
                Hmm thats hard question. But to protect yourself from more pain, i think it would be better not to respond. Im still trying 2 ignore my ex. But he makes me feel guilty sometimes for it. But when i think about the reasons im not with him anymore and what i went through i get so mad that im able 2 keep ignoring him. U dont have to ignore her forever but u just need some time for yourself and space to get over this all.

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