Update, a sad update.

[Nbaby]

Just in terms of being 21 and having parents who tell you you can't/shouldn't go...

I'm 21. I make my own money, but my parents still support me financially (pay for my housing) since most of my money goes towards food and college expenses. My mom told me not to go and would not support my decision to go because she was severely concerned for my safety and said I shouldn't be spending my money on those kinds of things, especially since SHE didn't know him and didn't know if she could trust him (overprotective), even after I'd been with him for a year and a half.

I went anyway. I paid for everything on my own. I came back home. Everything is fine.

lol i dont think i will survive when i would come back home after doing that.
But thanks for sharing ur story i can definatly relate . I'll give it a good thought.

[Tanja]

Why does your ex have access to your skype account? Or your internet history? Or in your computer in the first place? I'd change all my passwords immediatly if I were you. I find it astonishing that he could just go and read PRIVATE conversations you've had with your SO not to mention rat you out to your parents.

Also, if you're legally an adult and you're paying for your trip on your own then your parents can't stop you from going. You can be the bigger person and try to talk about it with them, without arguing and explaining that you're not a child anymore and you know what you're doing. Tell them how much it would mean to you to have their support but also make it clear that you will meet your SO even if they don't support you. Ultimately parents want what's best for their children and surely they want you to be happy? They could be just worried about you so you can offer to give them the trip details and your hotel number/address so that they can reach you and know you're safe.

They might not like it that you're going but you have a right to do it and it certainly won't kill them.

[Jezah]

Why does your ex have access to your skype account? Or your internet history? Or in your computer in the first place? I'd change all my passwords immediatly if I were you. I find it astonishing that he could just go and read PRIVATE conversations you've had with your SO not to mention rat you out to your parents.

This. 100%

[D.4C]

i guess things must be different in different cultures...cuz even if i lived with my parents...if i paid for the trip myself and all that...i don't think it's any of their business...since you are over 18...and as for your ex....wtf?...i would go through all your things and change passwords...and why does he have availability to your computer anyway?

[aomnomnom]

I live with my dad and he's very controlling. I know how you feel! I'm 23 and finishing up college in 2 months! I also make my own money (he paid for my education)... I tried to hint it that i was going abroad and he flipped out saying random stuff. I basically told him that he cant stop me =\ He still doesn't know that i'm set with my trip next year (lol). My advice? If your parents cant handle the truth, lie!

[Riyko]

What south american country are you originally from?

Also if your ex didn't use your computer there'd be no way he could get your internet history or your skype logs. Well he could get your internet history if you were signed into your gmail account while searching google and he read your emails, in the case of skype logs it isn't possible to view your conversations on another computer (as all of those conversations are only saved to the specific computer you were using, i know i tried getting mine on another computer, but wasn't able too). I bring this up because he could be lying about how he got the information.

[charly]

I donīt know how you see it, but if any ex would do this to me, i would see it as stalking. I donīt know where you from, and if it's possible, but a restraining order might be the only way to get him out of your way, since it seems he is not going to back off. About your parents, maybe you should let them skype with your boyfriend? I totally understand that you don't want to involve them more now, but that can help. And like stephanieaz said, take things one at a time. I've been through a few rough depressed years, and for me it really helped to write it all off. Give it a try and goodluck

[Nbaby]

Im from a kinda unknown country named Surinam in south-america. I dont want my SO to come here because im worried about his safety.
I dont know exactly how and when he did it but i changed my password for skype a couple of times but he still knew everything. He had my password from skype but i changed it, somehow he still had acces to my account. I think he also went over to my house when he still had the keys and went on my laptop to get information from. He really did good research because i kept telling him there is no one else in fear of his anger. I even used internet explorer to enter this site while i usually use firefox so he probably went to check the internet history of every webbrowser. He knows my SO name and he knows how he looks like because he saw his pictures. Im not sure if he still checks me out, he said he would stop. But i dont know im still a bit paranoid about it.

[Belle]

Make sure he didn't put a key stroke recording program on your computer... specially if he keeps finding out your Skype password after you changed them multiple times. Oh, and lock your computer with a really good password if its only meant for you to use. Hope things get better =). *hugs*

[Tooki]

You need to get a restraining order against your ex, because you do know that what he did was illegal right?

You should also be upfront to your parents about SO as well, and try to get them to speak to your SO on skype. They will have to meet him sooner or later, and if you make the first move towards that then you can put yourself into a better position in their books.

[Nbaby]

Thanks for the replies and the tips everyone. I do feel a bit better the last 2 days. I guess i just have my usual ups and downs.