I'm so confused, I don't know what to do..?

[Haley53]

The red flags are numerous here. She's emotionally abusing you while you two should still be in the honeymoon phase. It seems that post after post, she's either manipulating you or toying with your emotions in a manner that is, quite frankly, cruel. I have yet to see a positive, healthy interaction mentioned between you two. :/ Calling someone a pussy, a motherfucker, refusing to say "I love you," and so on is not kidding around, neither is really calling someone big/fathead, though that would depend on the context. Still, she's displacing blame and it's wrong and it further confirms my suspicions for why she wants to hook you in with talk of marriage and children.

I know.. it's just, she does make me happy, when she wants too..

Why wouldn't you want to be with someone who makes you happy all the time? Not only by existing as a fantasy object in your head (and I realise that this comes off as harsh, but having been in an abusive relationship, sometimes it's the idea of someone, or what they could be, more than it is who they are that we fall in love with) but from the way she interacts with you and speaks to you. You shouldn't be with someone who makes you happy only when they want to make you happy and who tears you down because it's "funny" or entertaining. You shouldn't be with someone who counters your emotion with sarcasm and deflection (this has actually been found to be one of the precursors for divorce). You should be with someone who says, "Hey, I really am sorry" and doesn't do it again; hell, I'd go so far as to say you should be with someone who never would have done it in the first place! This isn't love, at least not from her end, and it seems to have started from the beginning when she blamed her ex for why you two argue versus taking responsibility and actually working on the issue. She's only going to get worse and eventually, you are going to be worn down. It should never hurt to stay with someone, and while leaving her would hurt, at least it would be temporary, and it would save you the damage that this relationship is going to do before it finally blows up anyway. Unless she changes her behaviour, it isn't going to work, and I'd urge you to consider breaking out of it before she wears you down so much that you start losing a sense of who you are and what you truly deserve. :/

[hrp2007]

This is tough :/ Just remember to not settle for someone who doesn't treat you the way you deserve to be treated. You have said in previous posts that you will be visiting her, why not let her visit you? That way you can be comfortable in your own home if a situation gets bad you can tell her to leave verses being all the way across the country with no friends around to help you if something happened.