I'm so confused, I don't know what to do..?

[NeverToFarApartx3]

So, I know I've posted quit a few on here, happy and sad. Right now I really don't know what to think though. My girlfriend and I haven't been doing so hot lately. Kinda outta the blue. The only way I can get an "I love you" from her is if I say it first, she hasn't been saying it.. at all.. and when she does say it, it doesn't sound like she truely wants to say it? It takes her a while to say it back too. Well, yesterday we were talking on the phone, and when we went to hang up I didn't say I loved her, I was seeing if she said it.. but she didn't, she just said "bye" and hung up. So I texted her and asked her why she never says it. This was her response: "I don't want to say it in front of people". All I replied back with was "wow.." I really had nothing to say.. Also while we were on the phone, I was joking with my roommate and told her "ew you made the bathroom stink" (Cause she did). My girlfriend said "why are you so rude?" I said I wasn't being rude, just honest. She comes back with "Well, I can say a few honest things about you" and I was like really now? I can do the same with you. The she started going off saying "Since you have so much balls just say it then" and I told her NO cause I didn't want to fight. This part really made me angry, she goes "Yeah because you're a f**king p u s s y" and I was like, really?? I wanted to say "Just because youre around your friends doesn't mean you can treat me like sh*t" but I didn't.. I just dropped it.. she was joking when she said it either.. she said it like she was talking to someone she was trying to fight with.. I didn't like it.. I don't know what to do. If I stay with her, she hurts me. If I leave, I'll hurt worse.. :'( I'm so confused.. and hurting.. she's not the girlfriend I fell in love with.. I don't know who she is anymore..

[stephanieaz]

Wow! Tough situation. I think you should've said something about her not being able to treat you like crap when she's around her friends. How does she act when she's not around her friends? I think you need to find time to have a talk with her (without her friends or your roommate or anyone around) about how you're feeling about the way she's been acting lately. If it's easier for you to do in an e-mail so that you can collect your thoughts, then do that. Good luck!

[AABRCL05]

This is def a tough situation...I would maybe ask her if everything is okay. There could be something going on where she is and she doesn't want to bother you with it, which is then causing her to act differently toward you. The only way you are going to find out what is going on is by talking to her. GOOD LUCK

[Hollandia]

I agree. Talking to her is a must. If you let it fester and stick your head in the sand and pretend things are perfect it could destroy the relationship far worse, but that is just IMHO.

[ST25]

It sounds like there was some miscommunication involved. Why does she not want to say it in front of people? Is she a very private person? =P It could be that, since there are people who aren't very good at expressing emotions in public in a relationship. Either way, it'd be good to just have a word with her about it.

[Black_Halloween]

wait until shes alone and talk to her about it

[Zephii]

You don't have to censor your foul language, just say what you're going to say Especially if it's a quote.

That aside, look at it this way:
If you stay with her, she hurts you a little bit. A little bit of hurt every other day for a few years will surely wear you down and in the long run will stockpile into a huge mound of hurt and baggage you may not be able to work through without help.
Meanwhile, if you leave her, you'll hurt a lot right now, for like a month or six. And then you'll realise your life is better and more positive and you'll never have to worry about it again.

Or that's how I see it. Raise your standards, choose a SO that treats you how you deserve to be treated. I've read a lot of your threads, and it's either her hurting you, or even when the post is happy there's this undercurrent of manipulation. This chick is obviously not good for you.
Sorry to be so forward

[TwoThree]

Look, the very first thread that I read of you was about your girlfriend calling you stupid. And now this. That kind of stuff is definitely not okay in my book when it comes to a supposedly loving relationship.

Just my two cent.

[Zapookie]

Yeah, I kinda agree with the last two posters. She always seems to have the upper hand in your relationship and gets away with doing hurtful things to you. Also you should really try not to fight over such trivial things. If she's not happy and you're not happy, just walk away - it might be better off to be friends. You haven't met yet so in retrospect it should be a lot easier to cut that emotional tie.

[NeverToFarApartx3]

I know, and last night she said something and this is our convo. before I hung up:

She says something in the background (I'm on speaker phone)
me: "were you talking to me?"
her: "yes motherfucker i wasn't talking to the damn wall"
...
Then I said I had to go to bed.. :S err. -____-

[Hollandia]

I have been in abusive relationships in the past. You should never allow yourself to be treated this way. I am sorry, but I think you need to get out and find somebody that will treat you with respect and love. If she is acting like this now, imagine what she would be like after a few years of marriage.

[NeverToFarApartx3]

I know..

[Hollandia]

The heart wants what the heart wants...but you need to love yourself first.

Best of luck to you. Sorry for your pain.

[Yellowsilver]

Never let anyone treat you like you aren't worth it.
If someone whom you say you love and loves you back, treats you without any respect the odds that this working aren't really high.
Verbal abuse shouldn't be happening.

I think you need to reflect on this. Talk to her first, but if you are not happy if the way she's treating you don't stay just because it will hurt more if you aren't with her.

[NeverToFarApartx3]

Never let anyone treat you like you aren't worth it.
If someone whom you say you love and loves you back, treats you without any respect the odds that this working aren't really high.
Verbal abuse shouldn't be happening.

I think you need to reflect on this. Talk to her first, but if you are not happy if the way she's treating you don't stay just because it will hurt more if you aren't with her.

I know.. it's just, she does make me happy, when she wants too.. I still get all smiley when she calls, or when I call her.. but it almost seems like everytime I get happy; she finds a way to knock me down and make me mad. I did talk to her about it, well I tried, and this is what she said:
"It's funny how whenever I joke around it's rude and hurts you, but whenever you joke around its funny"

I told her, when I joke with her I NEVER put her down. I've called her fat head a couple times, cause she called me big head. Wow. I've never called her a pussy, I've never called her stupid, none of that! I've never ever on purposely hurt her.. :s