I could use some advice.

[Blue_eyed_brat]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for the past 4 months. We have known each other for almost 2 years. He lives in Alaska and I live in utah. We have been seeing each other once every 2 months for a week at a time. However he has a break from work and is staying with me until the end of January. Before he came back out here 2 weeks ago thugs weren't great. Then when he got here we were still fighting. Today he asked me to do something on his computer. He had left his IM's open. I went to close them when one caught my eye. He was talking to this girl and telling her he didn't think we would make it when he wet back home. Then she told him that there were lots of girls. And he agreed wih her. He used to have feeling for her. I closed his chat and I saw another one. This one was with his ex girlfriend. He was telling her how he missed her and he wished hey were together. And it was to bad they could never be together again. I know I shouldn't have read those. But I did... Now I am upset. What do I do?

[ThePiedPiper]

I would confront him about it, personally, and ask him if he stills want to make things work with you. If he says yes, then I would have a serious conversation about what you both need to keep it going.

[jleec24]

I agree with the post above me (still conflicted on whether to call you Eclaire or ThePiedPiper! :P) you definitely need to confront him about it. I know very little about him so I can be wrong but it seems like he hasn't got his whole heart in the relationship anymore so flat out ask him what he wants. If he does still want to be with you, you definitely have to start talking about a few boundaries based on how he talks to girls and you both have to work out what it is that is tearing your relationship up, what it is you are fighting about and so on.

[MaPetiteCriCri]

Confrontation is the best policy. He asked you to be on the computer, so it wasn't like you fished for the information or purposefully breached his privacy. Better to figure out now where you both stand and where things are going than to draw out confusion, uncertainty, and heart break. Just ask for honesty and be return the courtesy. I hope everything works out for you!

[Raisedkaine]

Firstly, I agree with the others, you're going to have to confront him about it, or it's going to continue to hurt you. If you truly want to try to make your relationship work, you could try to talk things out with him. Maybe ask him why it is that he thinks that you two aren't going to make it. For example, my SO and I went through a really hard time and the way that I solved most of the problems was just listening to the things that were bothering her in our relationship. She also did the same for me and we each took our own problems and worked our best to fix them. My advice to you summed up: see if he still wants to try to bring the spark back in the relationship and if he doesn't, there's not much else I can tell you. Best of luck goes out to you.

[redapple]

Honestly I'd be pretty angry, im massively against the idea of my SO discussing our relationship so intimately with others, especially if they were people he had romantic connections to too. maybe its just me, but i just think its rude and disrespectful. Anyway as you're asking what I'd do- I guess I'd confront him, say what I've said above and realistically for me, it could be a big enough deal to break it off. Depends on your personal circumstance but if the same thing happened in my relationship I'm pretty sure that's what would happen. Also don't feel bad for seeing them as he had asked you to be in his computer. Good luck!

[Moon]

Are you sure he didn't mean for you to see the messages? It looks petty suspicious that he'd leave those conversations open, and tell you to use his computer, you know? If it were me, and I was sneaking something behind someone' back, I'd make damn sure to cover my tracks.

Either way, you need to confront him about this, it's not a small thing. Do not let this go unless you want him going of with one of those girls, it sounds like his heart may not be in it anymore, I'm sorry to say. Good luck, and don't allow yourself to be treated in this way, be strong.