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Have you ever wished you hadn't met him/her at all?

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    #16
    Oh Wow!!!
    Your answers are all great!!!
    It's interesting to see how we're all pretty much on the same boat.
    I know it gets tough sometimes, but after all considerations I always end up thinking what a wonderful thing I would've missed if I hadn't met my SO. Maybe, in a way, distance simply makes us appreciate the other one better.

    I especially like Verojoon's answer. I do like better the person I am since we met too, I've learned a lot about patience, generousity, commitment and loyalty from my SO.

    Nevertheless I am a Mexican, so I wouldn't swim to him if even if I had to. That'd be a cliché, lol. Actually back when we met I remember telling him, "Oh by the way, I'm not swimming, jumping fences, or digging a tunnel to get across the border, so you know..." and "We can play all kinds of things, even cowboys and indians, but I refuse to play border patrol officer" LOL!!!

    Sometimes I do get jealous too of people who are only a 30 minute drive away -if so.
    On the other hand, maybe it's just me, but I think I've noticed how the relationship I have with my SO is somehow "deeper, closer..." (can't truly find the word to describe it), than the ones most of my friends have with their couples...
    I wonder if this is somehow true...

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      #17
      Originally posted by THINK2MUCH View Post
      LDRs are an emotional roller coaster. I'm sure you all know what I mean.
      When it comes to international LDRs and you want to be with your SO, you have to add more drama to the situation.

      Traveling abroad isn't by any means cheap.
      In some countries you have to deal with cultural and racial issues too.
      Language is a problem, food is sometimes an inconvenience, the weather...Oh, I don't even want to start on that...
      Vaccination might be a must.
      Security...(I live in Mexico, and sadly we're not doing well at all in that department) and I'm sure there's people here who might have to travel to a (or almost a) war zone .
      Oh, and you have to add all the trouble that immigration regulations worldwide represent. Sometimes they'll make you feel like your being in love is a felony..That's probably the most frustrating part...
      All in all, have you ever felt so overwhelmed that you found yourself wishing you hadn't met him or her at all?

      It hasn't happened to me...yet.
      If there are all those concerns, as to whether or not, after you decided to go. Then you shouldn't get in an LDR domestic, or international in the first place.

      First Visit: September 2016
      Second Visit: January 2017 (Her birthday)
      Third Visit: June 2018 (medical conference near her home)

      John 3:16
      For God so loved the world. That he gave his only begotten son. For whosoever believeth in him. Shall not perish but have eternal life
      John 4:12
      I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

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        #18
        I've wished that I could stop loving him, but never wished not to have known him at all. Luckily, not all wishes come true. Because there's nothing more worth it in the end.
        Happily married to the little Canadian boy I never thought I'd meet in person

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          #19
          God, these answers are all so sweet!!

          My answer? Not in a million years. I have those comprehensive-life-moments, where I reflect on where I am now, where I was at this time last year, and where I (hope) to be by this time next year. If you had told me just over a year ago that I'd be head over heels for an Irishman, planning on moving to Ireland, instead of just studying there for 4 months, and more intellectually, mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually complete than I ever dreamed possible, I would have laughed in your face, called it a romantic pipe dream, and buried myself in more Jane Austen. But guess what? Everything I thought I wanted? Nothing. Stephen turned out to be everything I didn't know I needed, and I'm more fulfilled, humanistically, than I ever dreamed possible. He's like a slightly altered Prince Charming--not stereotypically perfect, but my sort of perfect. I often marvel at the circumstances that brought us together, and any heartache I've felt from the distance or life events that should have, and almost did, tear us apart, I just smile and think to myself, "Damn, I'm lucky." I had to go halfway round the world to find the love of my life, but the journey was so worth it.

          In the end, I wouldn't change a single circumstance of our relationship. If I hadn't met him, I never would have pushed myself to grow as much as I have over this last year and 3 months. He's opened my eyes to so many things, and I shudder to think what rut I would be in if I hadn't met him. I know I'd be okay--I'm secure in my individuality--but I wouldn't be as complete as I am now.

          I still can't believe he's mine. I wouldn't give him up for the whole world on a platter.
          "I love thee to the depth, and breadth, and height my soul can reach..." ~Elizabeth Barrett Browning

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            #20
            Originally posted by Chris516 View Post
            If there are all those concerns, as to whether or not, after you decided to go. Then you shouldn't get in an LDR domestic, or international in the first place.
            Oh, I'm sure you can tell there's much more serious stuff than I mentioned to it...
            It's not like LDRs come with instructions. These are things you find out in the long run.
            We're not all that strong, you know? At least I'm not. So when things get really tough, such thoughts arise.
            It's not something easy to recognise. Not for me, either way. I feel kind of ashamed or guilty, when I get in that mood.
            But it's important to be honest, especially to one's self.
            My intention in posting this was merely to see if anyone else had ever felt that way too.

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              #21
              Ultimately when my SO broke up with me almost 2 months ago, she plunged me into a depression I still haven't shifted whatsoever. It's the worst i've ever felt in my life, by far.

              But would I trade anything that happened? Not a chance, not even one thing. Never meeting her, never falling in love and never spending the special times we did together, would've been far worse than the heartbreak I feel now. So I like to think if I feel that so strongly even despite what she's done to me, that you'll be pretty happy knowing your SO

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                #22
                Originally posted by THINK2MUCH View Post
                Oh, and you have to add all the trouble that immigration regulations worldwide represent. Sometimes they'll make you feel like your being in love is a felony..That's probably the most frustrating part...
                I feel like this all the time.

                I never wish I hadn't met my SO. Sometimes (when I'm really numb/heartbroken over the whole thing), I wish we had met but not done the whole relationship thing...just been good friends until we were able to close the distance (because we still don't see an end to the distance in the near future! ) However, how plausible would that have been? All I know is that when I'm with him, it's amazing! I've never had a better relationship. I've never had someone so supportive and willing to go through everything with me, even though it's hurting him sometimes too.
                As bad as it hurts, I don't ever regret meeting him or being with him. I'm upset that entities can tell us we can't be together (physically close the distance) but not upset that our relationship happened...

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                  #23
                  To be honest, I can't imagine life without my bf because I really believe we are soul mates.
                  But all this situation you talked about sometimes makes me feel like being together is impossible
                  In these moments, we talk about what we are feeling and try to have faith that our day will come soon.

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                    #24
                    In the beginning when we were first talking and our first meeting plans were falling apart left, right and center I did have a few "Ughh why did this ever happen" moments. But when we did meet I realised I wouldn't want it another way

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                      #25
                      I would walk if I would have to, to get to him. I have wished however that we both were a few years older. I'm 19 currently, going to university. He is almost done. If only I would be older, and have a more stable life in terms of finances and school... (emotional as well, have gone through some pretty deep shit unfortunately) The exact thing I'm studying right now cannot be done elsewhere, so moving together will have to wait many more years. Ah well, it could be a lot worse after all, I'm very happy with my SO, its worth it

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                        #26
                        My SO is my best friend, my confidante, I love him and I couldn't imagine being without him. I hate the distance, but at the same time it has let us get to know one another much better than any close distant relationship. We don't get to see each other that often, so we have to communicate. I've been in enough relationships to know communication is a huge factor in making a relationship work. We are a perfect match in every way. I've been looking for this man my entire life. I would never wish I hadn't met him.

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                          #27
                          There was one time were both of us admitted that we weren't interested in a Long Distance Relationship but as the days passed and we kept getting to know each other it fell to the backburner. There was this other time were we argued and he stated " This is why I didn't want an LDR...Distance takes its toll and makes us easily irritated." Sure, things aren't easy, but they are worth it. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
                          ”Distance means so little when someone means so much.”

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                            #28
                            We were friends first. We talked about the cons(looooooooooooong list) of dating for a few weeks before we decided to date. The truth is we could not stop ourselves. I don't regret meeting him, I just wish we could have a set time for when the distance would be closed. It is a living hell without him and heaven on earth with him. The goodbyes are devastating. I pray for sometime when the Hello is the permanent. I won't have a penny left to my name and I have to leave family and my country behind... I will still look forward to the day it comes.
                            "Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
                            Benjamin Franklin

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                              #29
                              Originally posted by Softy View Post
                              LDR are rough...
                              I still get angry for nothing, i cry often and it's painful to look at surrounding happy couples...

                              But I never ever thought 'wish i hadn't met him'.
                              He's fantastic, I love him so much.
                              They day we will close the distance, all the pain and sadness will disappear to leave place to happiness only.

                              Think about the happy side more than the wait : )

                              cheers
                              I feel the same as this. Seeing couples out-and-about makes me feel really sad sometimes. I know that somewhere out there, there's someone who loves me just like that, and probably even more deeply. But not having her hand in mine as I go through my day-to-day life breaks my heart.

                              Sometimes, it feels like the entire life I'm living right now, my home, my job, my friends, are just a holding pattern while I wait for my 'real' life to begin with her, in a foreign country. We have such a long journey ahead of us. I know she's a strong-willed, stubborn girl. I'm the same. It's why I love her! I just hope we're strong enough to hold out.

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                                #30
                                Originally posted by radioandy View Post
                                I feel the same as this. Seeing couples out-and-about makes me feel really sad sometimes. I know that somewhere out there, there's someone who loves me just like that, and probably even more deeply. But not having her hand in mine as I go through my day-to-day life breaks my heart.

                                Sometimes, it feels like the entire life I'm living right now, my home, my job, my friends, are just a holding pattern while I wait for my 'real' life to begin with her, in a foreign country. We have such a long journey ahead of us. I know she's a strong-willed, stubborn girl. I'm the same. It's why I love her! I just hope we're strong enough to hold out.

                                That's the feeling exactly!!!
                                I feel like I am in some kind of LIMBO!!!
                                I wonder if that's bad, normal, or ..???

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