"We're taking a break."

[alittlemind]

Thursday night I had to make that really hard decision. As you all know, long distance relationships, especially as teenagers, are really hard. I told Kaleb Thursday night that if he didn't want to change his attitude towards me, I couldn't do this anymore. I didn't know how else to show him that he couldn't keep acting that way towards me without losing me. I told him I needed time to myself to think, and I needed him to take this time to realize what he has and what he can lose. I'm just feeling really confused right now. While we were having that conversation, he was telling me all these things that I had been wanting to hear for the past few months. All just a little too late. I knew he was being honest, I know him. It broke my heart. I just couldn't be the person he wanted me to be anymore. I couldn't change myself any more than I had. I just can't help feeling like this isn't the end. I can't stop thinking about him as my boyfriend. Is that normal?

It's hard to get it into my head that we could be over if the only thing that's changed is talking to him everyday. I'm sorry if this is all over the place, that's just the way my mind is working right now. Last night I had the most amazing time with my friends, honestly, more fun than I've had with my boyfriend in a long time. I'm lucky I have a great little group of friends, they made it their goal to make me feel better and they succeeded. I felt free, I didn't have to worry about telling Kaleb that I'd have to call him late. But still, I couldn't help but miss him. I told him I would call him sometime this week, just to check in on him, because of course I still care about him. I still want to make sure he's doing okay. How long should I wait? Should I ask him to tell me when would be best for him? He's coming home in 19 days, and we've planned to meet up then and decide if this is permanent or not.

I just really don't know how to go about living my life without him, because it has been about a year and a half of this rollercoaster with him. Another question I have is, I planned to have a group of people over for him on the first saturday that he is visiting, (we have the same group of friends here) and although I still want to, I don't know if it's "acceptable", to do that? I really just need a whole bunch of advice on how to deal with this "break-up". If you have any questions in order to give better advice, go right ahead and I will answer as soon as I can.

[Dezface]

The hardest part of breaking up (for me) is knowing how to continue without that person. They're so ingrained in your life that you find you don't know what life is like without them. But this isn't a reason to stay. You obviously have some needs that aren't being met. They were strong enough to call for this "break." So instead of dwelling on what you don't have, concentrate on the fact that you're doing what's best for you right now.

If you hadn't told him you'd call him, I'd say you shouldn't. I think if you're spending time apart, it should be a clean break. But since you did, I'd say wait the entire week. Give both of you some space. If you contact him right away, it makes it look like you weren't serious.

As for the party, I wouldn't do it. You guys need to figure out where you stand before you do something like that. Maybe ask another friend to take over the planning? Then if you guys decide you're still together, you can go along. But if you decide to break up, you won't be forced to endure a party with him. I have a feeling that would be a very hard thing to go through.

[Sharon Q]

The way you are feeling is normal. I've been off and on with my guy a few times. Breaks can help a relationship, However keep in mind nothing is ever solved without talking about it, you will still have that bridge to cross when the time comes.

I think its a very good thing that you went out with your friends instead of just laying around the house upset about the situation.

Call him when you are ready. You chose to take the break, so its all about when you are ready to talk to him.

Normally when my SO and I went on break we would give it 3 days to week before we talked. It just depends on how you feel about it.

I also think that maybe after he gets home and you two see each other in person that you both should give it a few days before making any decisions. Hang out, spend some time together and try to reconnect. Then sit down and talk about how you both feel. what you both want. Then decide from there.

Good luck with everything.