Crushes and a SO?

[Ciana]

I have always wondered about this, but never really had a way to actually bring it up.

So I have a SO, oviously long distance, and I love him. He is my whole life and I am always thrilled when someone refers to me as his life as well.
I would never ever leave him or do anything at all to endanger our relationship, and I have always looked down on people who would cheat, but I have a kid in my first period class that I have always thought was cute.
Since I am a senior in High School, and he is TA-ing for my first period teacher, I am pretty sure we are in the same grade, but damn. He is a good looking kid. Lol
In another life, if I didn't have my John, I might develop a crush on him, but at this point I just think he is pretty fine.

To my question- have any of you had crushes on someone other than your SO while with your SO? Is that considered normal? And not just with LD, but couples that have closed the distance as well.

[Brieasaurus]

I think having a crush and thinking someone is attractive are different things. That being said, I've never developed a crush on anyone else but I do think other guys are hot (okay guy really, damn you Channing Tatum). My SO has ruined every other guy for me, they just don't measure up to him haha.

[pretty ll vacant]

My SO has ruined every other guy for me, they just don't measure up to him haha.

This exactly lol. The only time i ever find another guy somewhat attractive, is if because he kind of looks like my BF. I totally agree with Brieasaurus, other dudes don't measure up at all.

[Sora1101]

I've never had a crush on anyone else while with my SO, sure I acknowledge a cute guy when I see one but it's usually just a passing glance no one even comes close to my SO, it's not actual appearance I find the most attractive I think it's personality.

Example, when I first saw a picture of my SO I didn't think he was good looking at all, but I was okay with that because my SO has a wonderful personality and three years later I now find my SO the sexiest guy I've ever seen, period.

[Dezface]

I find plenty of people attractive. But I don't necessarily let it get to the "crushing" stage. That for me would involve getting to know them well and I don't have any reason to do that.

[iHeartt]

I think having a crush and thinking someone is attractive are different things. That being said, I've never developed a crush on anyone else but I do think other guys are hot (okay guy really, damn you Channing Tatum). My SO has ruined every other guy for me, they just don't measure up to him haha.

I agree with the others, I find other guys attractive (mainly because they look like my SO, ok, except for Channing Tatum, but he IS a hottie!), but I haven't even thought about having a crush on another. I think my guy is the best and sexiest ever and no one else could ever come close!! Finding other people attractive is normal. You're human, you're going to look at others and comment, even if its only in your own mind, about them. Its how you handle that physical attraction that makes a difference. (look and go about your business because you're in a relationship, or pursue your attraction, its up to you.)

[ThePiedPiper]

We're wired to find other people attractive, but to me, that's different than a crush, which is more along the lines of being infatuated with someone. Society typically tends to frown upon the whole "finding other people attractive" thing when one is in a relationship, but in the end, being in a relationship doesn't mean we all of a sudden don't notice attractive people. I've noticed that since being single, it's not that I notice attractive people any more or less, so I would guess the only aspect that changes is being in a relationship where everyone else pales in comparison and being in a place where you're not looking, but more open to people in general. I find I'm talking to more people and a lot more confident since breaking up because it's allowed me to come into my own more and I feel less restricted as far as who I can talk to and what opportunities I can pursue. So my guess would be that this is normal. It doesn't sound like a crush or something you're pursuing to me.

[Reglisse]

We're wired to find other people attractive, but to me, that's different than a crush, which is more along the lines of being infatuated with someone. Society typically tends to frown upon the whole "finding other people attractive" thing when one is in a relationship, but in the end, being in a relationship doesn't mean we all of a sudden don't notice attractive people. I've noticed that since being single, it's not that I notice attractive people any more or less, so I would guess the only aspect that changes is being in a relationship where everyone else pales in comparison and being in a place where you're not looking, but more open to people in general. I find I'm talking to more people and a lot more confident since breaking up because it's allowed me to come into my own more and I feel less restricted as far as who I can talk to and what opportunities I can pursue. So my guess would be that this is normal. It doesn't sound like a crush or something you're pursuing to me.

Couldn't have said it better myself. I think anyone who says they never find anyone else attractive are lying, but finding someone attractive is merely an observation.. Like you say, we're wired to find other people attractive, but there are 7 billion people in the world. I don't know how many billion attractive people are among them, but it's bound to be a lot. We can't go around having crushes on all of them so to have a crush on someone, a whole lot of other factors play in..

[Malaga]

I think anyone who says they never find anyone else attractive are lying

Are you calling me a liar?

This always bothered me, mainly because people use the word "attractive" when talking about this. I describe something as attractive when I'm personally attracted to it, whereas "good looking" is more of an impersonal observation. I can honestly say I was never attracted to another guy whilst in this relationship. I've certainly seen plenty of good looking guys in the meanwhile yet felt zero interest. Even guys I used to find attractive before, I just can't relate to it anymore.
But I do think this is individual, like I know my boyfriend doesn't feel quite the same, but his loyalty is not in question.

I just think that, if you come to a point where you actually have to fight off temptation to stay loyal, then you should stop and re-evaluate how you feel about your SO and your relationship.

[Tooki]

I see a lot of attractive women (especially in Estonia) every day and my GF does the same. She has some 'celebrity crushes' and I'm fine with that.

I don't feel any emotional attraction to them though. But hey, if a woman is hot, I'm not going to pretend that she isn't there.

[Reglisse]

Are you calling me a liar?

Oh of course not! I'm sorry, miss interpretation of words here.. I guess that is bound to happen on an international forum..haha. With "attractive" I meant "seeing that a person is pretty/good looking". But I can see how that came of wrong.

I completely agree with you, while I can see that other people are good looking, I don't feel "attracted" to them in that sense..

[Ciana]

I must say, I am so happy to see so many responses of the same thing. ^^ But you do have a point- I meant liking someone other than your SO, not just thinking they are attractive. It shouldnt be suprising that no one would ever look at someone besides their SO. C: Really, no one just measures up.

Of course I also blame hormones as I am only seventeen. Lol But thinking someone is attractive and crushing is two different things. And we are only human, so of course we would notice a good looking guy/girl every once in a while. ^^

[Caitlin2009]

crushes no, attractions yes. its ok to find someone else attractive but to have a crush on someone else ehhhh thats not good, whatever you do dont spend any alone time with this guy. too much temptation because you have a crush on him

[Sharon Q]

I've only really had two crushes, but just minor crushes nothing like; " you're better than my SO " or " I wanna be with you " just more of a simple " I like you, you have a good personality " type of crush.

I think having a crush or liking someones personality is okay, so long as you don't flirt with the person or cross the line of friendship.

I think the best way to avoid any kind of crushes when you are long distance is to surround yourself with the same sex, try to spend time with friends. don't put yourself in a situation you may come to regret later.

[Inspirement]

I think the best way to avoid any kind of crushes when you are long distance is to surround yourself with the same sex, try to spend time with friends.

I don't think that the sex of the friends really matter. The important thing is that you're not crushing on them. I have mostly opposite sex friends, and I'm not crushing on any of them (I used to on one, but that was years ago, so it's not really relevant anyway). I love my SO and even though I may find other girls attractive, what I feel for her completely drowns out what I may feel for any of those other girls.

Anyway, if you do find that you are crushing on other people, maybe you should start thinking about why you are doing this. Is i because there's a "hole" in your relationship that you're seeking to fill elsewhere? I have personally never felt the slightest interest in another girl except for my SO in any of the relatonships I have been in, and I don't see why you would have a crush on someone else when you're in a relationship (here I'm referring not to only having an attraction to someone, but also a strong desire to pursue this person, wether romantically, sexually or both).