I will try to be as objective as possible. I'm desperate for advice, so I will be grateful for any advice I recieve. 
Anyway, I will first give you a proper background of us and then I will individually explain my questions/problems. Maybe I don't have a problem, for I have a very anxious personality (this has been comfirmed by a psychologist). So I may be over-thinking things. It would be of great help if I could get your input though, fellow LDR-ers
BACKGROUND INFO:
I'm 19 and as of today, she is too. We are students in university. She lives in Moscow, and studies there. I live in Wisconsin and I study here. Me and my SO have been in a LDR for 6 months now. I'm planning a visit in late march/early april, so its coming up. Now, we had a rough first few months but then everything standardized and we where quite happy. The trouble came on the 9th of this month, so 9 days ago. We where fine, she was playing World of Warcraft and was sharing her screen with me via skype (we like to watch each other play videogames, or play together). And her computer froze. She tried fixing it, but she couldnt, so she sent me a text message saying that she couldn't fix it, and would try tomorrow, at that time it was late for her so she went to sleep. I thought "ok, i'll see her tomorrow." Turns out, her computer is busted. So not a lot of webcam calls, she borrowed her roomate's laptop (that doesn't have a webcam (??)) and well, she's using skype there, but we haven't had a webcam skype session in 9 days now.
Problem 1: "She doesn't know what love is"
So we got into a serious talk the other day, and I asked her "Do you love me" and she answered "i don't know, because I don't know what love is" Keep in mind that this girl took the first step in considering/ planning to have a serious future together. She says the following:
Of course, this made me feel a bit unsure about her feelings toward me, but I think she was just thrown off cause she has been stressed. I mean, she is going to visit her family in her hometown in a few days, and that will be stressing for her since its going to be crowded from a lot of family visiting her parents as well. Her final exams have started and wont end until early january, her birthday was today and she was not with her family and friends for it, etc, etc.
She is a very sensible girl, so she can get depressed easily. And I guess its natural to be feeling this way, and I think she does have love for me, because otherwise she wouldn't have spent the last 6 months talking for hours and hours with me, seriously started to include me in her plans for the future, and even send me a packet with a lot of meaningful things, or even taken that french class to be able to speak french with me! (I speak french, but its not my native language, we are both language geeks and so she wants to keep up with me, she told me so, but she hates french, so that tells me she did it for me), tell her friends about me and some other things which I won't share (if you get what i mean
). What do you think?
Problem 2: She can be too cold or not loving enough...at least in my perspective.
Yeah, I mean, I'm a person who loves to pamper. But even though she does show me affection, she doesn't do it as much as I do. I talked with my mother about this in detail, and she told me that I might be a bit too demanding in that department. Inside me, i want her to miss me, i want her to look for me all day like i look for her. But i'm thinking, maybe that is not too healthy of an approach...maybe i should cut back a bit.
Also, she is Russian. Russians are known for being cold on the outside but very warm with people whom they care for. Now, i confronted her about this and she told me that it was hard for her to be more "pampering" though skype, and that it will all be better when i get there, she can show her affection better. I guess its true, but I'm just a bit thrown off. I don't know! :P
My questions are:
for problem 1: What can I conclude from this? I've gone over it too much in my head, i need some opinions.
for problem 2: Am I too demanding? Is it maybe the nature of the relationship that makes it feel this way? again, opinions please
It actually makes me feel better writing about this and laying it all out in writing.
Question 3: How should I approach the following days? She says she will get her laptop fixed when she is in her hometown, how can I make it easier on her and myself?
Thank you guys for all your imput! I really appreciate it!
Anyway, I will first give you a proper background of us and then I will individually explain my questions/problems. Maybe I don't have a problem, for I have a very anxious personality (this has been comfirmed by a psychologist). So I may be over-thinking things. It would be of great help if I could get your input though, fellow LDR-ers
BACKGROUND INFO:
I'm 19 and as of today, she is too. We are students in university. She lives in Moscow, and studies there. I live in Wisconsin and I study here. Me and my SO have been in a LDR for 6 months now. I'm planning a visit in late march/early april, so its coming up. Now, we had a rough first few months but then everything standardized and we where quite happy. The trouble came on the 9th of this month, so 9 days ago. We where fine, she was playing World of Warcraft and was sharing her screen with me via skype (we like to watch each other play videogames, or play together). And her computer froze. She tried fixing it, but she couldnt, so she sent me a text message saying that she couldn't fix it, and would try tomorrow, at that time it was late for her so she went to sleep. I thought "ok, i'll see her tomorrow." Turns out, her computer is busted. So not a lot of webcam calls, she borrowed her roomate's laptop (that doesn't have a webcam (??)) and well, she's using skype there, but we haven't had a webcam skype session in 9 days now.
Problem 1: "She doesn't know what love is"
So we got into a serious talk the other day, and I asked her "Do you love me" and she answered "i don't know, because I don't know what love is" Keep in mind that this girl took the first step in considering/ planning to have a serious future together. She says the following:
- She says she doesn't know what love is, but that she asked herself, "If i ended up spending the rest of my life with him (me), would I regret it?" She said that she thinks that she wouldn't regret it, but that she has been in other relationships where she has thought that she has been IN love.
- She says that if she thinks of a person too much, analyzing that person, that she can analyze well, but look at that person without feeling. so she doesn't let herself do that to me, to not lose the feeling.
Of course, this made me feel a bit unsure about her feelings toward me, but I think she was just thrown off cause she has been stressed. I mean, she is going to visit her family in her hometown in a few days, and that will be stressing for her since its going to be crowded from a lot of family visiting her parents as well. Her final exams have started and wont end until early january, her birthday was today and she was not with her family and friends for it, etc, etc.
She is a very sensible girl, so she can get depressed easily. And I guess its natural to be feeling this way, and I think she does have love for me, because otherwise she wouldn't have spent the last 6 months talking for hours and hours with me, seriously started to include me in her plans for the future, and even send me a packet with a lot of meaningful things, or even taken that french class to be able to speak french with me! (I speak french, but its not my native language, we are both language geeks and so she wants to keep up with me, she told me so, but she hates french, so that tells me she did it for me), tell her friends about me and some other things which I won't share (if you get what i mean
). What do you think?Problem 2: She can be too cold or not loving enough...at least in my perspective.
Yeah, I mean, I'm a person who loves to pamper. But even though she does show me affection, she doesn't do it as much as I do. I talked with my mother about this in detail, and she told me that I might be a bit too demanding in that department. Inside me, i want her to miss me, i want her to look for me all day like i look for her. But i'm thinking, maybe that is not too healthy of an approach...maybe i should cut back a bit.
Also, she is Russian. Russians are known for being cold on the outside but very warm with people whom they care for. Now, i confronted her about this and she told me that it was hard for her to be more "pampering" though skype, and that it will all be better when i get there, she can show her affection better. I guess its true, but I'm just a bit thrown off. I don't know! :P
My questions are:
for problem 1: What can I conclude from this? I've gone over it too much in my head, i need some opinions.
for problem 2: Am I too demanding? Is it maybe the nature of the relationship that makes it feel this way? again, opinions please
It actually makes me feel better writing about this and laying it all out in writing.
Question 3: How should I approach the following days? She says she will get her laptop fixed when she is in her hometown, how can I make it easier on her and myself?
Thank you guys for all your imput! I really appreciate it!
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