Need some advice.

[DK007]

Two text messages could change the face of my whole relationship. I was talking to her about christmas plans together, I had asked her if she wanted to exchange gifts, and she said sure. I found something for her, and got it cause it was in limited supply. I then asked her if how I suggested things was fair, and she didnt write back. No biggie, she often gets busy. Cut to the next morning, Im super stressed about something completely different, but i ended up questioning her interest in doing christmas together. An hour later I told her i was really really stressed and that i was going to just shut up before i cause damage. The next day i sincerely apologized to her, no response, today, i asked her if she was mad, no response.

Now obvioulsy this is something that i did, and not her. i allowed my stress to seep into our relationship and it did do some damage. I dont know what i should do. Do i give her space? Keep our christmas plans? I just need ANY advice on how to deal with this, and not do anymore damage by trying to fix it. This is the first time this has happened with us.

HELP?

[Zephii]

My best advice is to stop trying to conduct a relationship through text and just call her to sort this out.

[Gurl]

I'm not sure if she's not talking to you at all or just ignoring certain subjects. Either of these highlight that there is a communication problem. I can guarantee if you guys don't find and fix what is causing this lapse in communication, it can and probably will end up eating away at the relationship. Even if she just wants to be mad for a while or doesn't want to talk about something, she should just say so..and you have to respect that. And tell her if you're not wanting to talk about something in a particular moment and her give the same respect. Communication doesn't always mean you talk about something when one doesn't want to. It means being honest about not wanting to and then speaking up when the one who put off talking is prepared for talking...and talking about the issue in a reasonable amount of time (which varies from couple to couple and even from Issue to issue).

Id not let things ride for very long if it were me, but I don't know you or ur SO. Maybe ask her if she needs sometime or why she seems to be ignoring the issue...in a nicer way of course. Sorry I don't have much advice but I learned in my last LDR to get it all out in the open ASAP so it won't eat at me and cause more problems in the end. This doesn't work for every couple or situation though. Hope you two work it out quickly.

[Dezface]

From what you've written, I don't really understand what you did wrong. She's the one ignoring you when you try to talk. I would ask her what's up. Assume your Christmas plans are still on, since that's what you decided. Really the only thing you can do is talk to her.

[DK007]

Zephii- It is always my first choice to call her, but its not always possible, and theres no telling whether id catch her at a time that she could talk. Our schedules are almost completely opposite, and thats not accounting for the time difference.

Gurl- You have a lot of great points. and i tend to agree with most of them. I definitely had no idea that it would turn into this, we've had a few disagreements in the past, those being worse in my opinion, but the way its playing out this time is completely opposite from the last times. I wish i knew how to get past this, but if shes not responding, theres not much i can do to change that.

Dezface- There are many other things that would of been worse, but I did loose my head and say something I shouldnt of. I clarified myself as soon as I realized what I did, and after I calmed down, I apologized. This whole thing doesnt even really seem like her, it flies in the face of everything I know about her over the last year and a half.

[Irina_Linn]

i honestly dont see anything that you could have done wrong.but as well i see no reason why would she ignore you.if its been between 1-2 days,maybe she is just busy or cannot reply,but if more than 2 then i would start seriosuly thinking what could have happened.is it usual for your girl not to speak to you for so long?because if we fight with my SO,atleast we text once a day to let know we are doing ok.

[DK007]

Irina_Linn- Its not totally unusual for her to not be in contact like this, its been longer before, but its what the subject is about, not necessarily the fact she hasnt been talking. If you take away what I said, it would just kinda be a normal week, add that in, with her silence, and it could be something totally different. It could also be nothing, since before I said what I said, she hadnt responded yet either. I just dont know. It just sucks, with christmas so close, not being able to talk to her, for whatever reason, and trying to be prepared for whatever outcome.

[DK007]

Just tried to call her, and it went straight to a message saying the voice mail is full, which is totally unlike her. It also makes me wonder if she has gotten any of my texts either. Or if she cant respond, like if her phone is broken or something. I dont know, Im almost more worried now after hearing that then i was before. And now I feel panicked that something could of happend!

[Irina_Linn]

i am also slighty qorried to be honest! can you somehow get in touch with her family or friends? i just hope its a good reason that keeps her so occupied!

[DK007]

No, unfortunately I have no other way to contact her directly. Ill just have to wait... I hope so too.

[DK007]

*Update* Well its now been three weeks, and I haven't heard a single word from her, despite multiple text messages, and attempts to reach her by phone. To add insult to injury, my christmas package was "undeliverable"! According to the post office there was no one by that name at the address, which 3 weeks earlier I successfully used to send her a package. Her phone was still on last time I tried to call her, on new years, but the voice mail was still full so I couldnt leave a message.

None of this makes any sense whatsoever! I have no explanation and how Ive been able to hold it together for this long, I cant explain either. This isnt the girl Ive come to know over the last year and a half. I thought maybe giving her space would help, but I cant even be sure for that. I dont really have a question or anything, just kinda venting, as a good majority of people just shrug their shoulders, having never been in a LDR. Any thoughts, comments or suggestions are more than welcome.