You guys might remember me from a couple of months back, frantically asking for advice about my long distance relationship that was going south. Mistakes were made on my end and, even though I apologized, learned from them, discussed them with him and moved on from them, he could not and that ultimately lead to our downfall. He was convinced I didn't want to move to be with him based on those mistakes, despite all the steps I was taking to try and find a job so I could move. A couple of days after my birthday/our 2 year anniversary in October, at the end of my weekend visit, he broke up with me. Saying he wasn't happy in the relationship anymore, running down the list of all the mistakes, that I didn't know how to make myself happy/was codependent, he wanted to be friends, that he still loved me as a person... yadda, yadda. I was pretty devastated, told him I couldn't be his friend at the moment, got my stuff together, and then drove home in Hurricane Sandy. Icing on the cake right there.
Anyway, right before I left to visit him, I had a phone interview for a job in his city that I really, really, really wanted. When they initially contacted me about the job (6 weeks prior to the interview), I gushed about it, was so excited, and even went to visit the property to get a feel for it while I went down on a weekend to hand out resumes. When my boyfriend broke up with me, I even told him that the timing sucked since the ball was rolling on something I really wanted. About 3 weeks after the breakup, the manager touched base with me about a second interview, and I decided I would regret it if I didn't at least see what the position entailed, so I drove to Myrtle Beach. I hadn't spoken to my ex since telling him I made it home okay after the breakup, so I didn't reach out to him. The interview went really, really well and the position was going to be amazing for me... substantially more money, a management position with an incredible company with so much room to grow, a discounted apartment and a cheaper cost of living. I knew that it was something would be a great fit for me. I had another phone interview with the regional manager and earlier this month, they offered me the position. After taking some time and discussing it with my family, I accepted the job.
I'm super excited and happy with my decision, but now, I'm a little concerned about my ex. We're still friends on all social media (Facebook, Twitter, Foursquare), though I've hidden him from Facebook and don't contact him. We've been in touch a couple of times, initiated by him and mainly about the family cell phone plan we were on, but he's thrown in some personal things in each email. The last one, he mentioned seeing something about my moving on Facebook. I had RSVPed to an event and said no because I'd be moved. My biggest fear about telling him is that he will think the move is for him and freak out thinking that I want him back/I'm crazy/etc. when that could not be further from the truth. I do not want to be in a relationship with him at all; I've honestly been a LOT happier without him in my life. But I'm torn because I feel like telling him would be the right, decent thing to do. Any advice is definitely appreciated!
Anyway, right before I left to visit him, I had a phone interview for a job in his city that I really, really, really wanted. When they initially contacted me about the job (6 weeks prior to the interview), I gushed about it, was so excited, and even went to visit the property to get a feel for it while I went down on a weekend to hand out resumes. When my boyfriend broke up with me, I even told him that the timing sucked since the ball was rolling on something I really wanted. About 3 weeks after the breakup, the manager touched base with me about a second interview, and I decided I would regret it if I didn't at least see what the position entailed, so I drove to Myrtle Beach. I hadn't spoken to my ex since telling him I made it home okay after the breakup, so I didn't reach out to him. The interview went really, really well and the position was going to be amazing for me... substantially more money, a management position with an incredible company with so much room to grow, a discounted apartment and a cheaper cost of living. I knew that it was something would be a great fit for me. I had another phone interview with the regional manager and earlier this month, they offered me the position. After taking some time and discussing it with my family, I accepted the job.
I'm super excited and happy with my decision, but now, I'm a little concerned about my ex. We're still friends on all social media (Facebook, Twitter, Foursquare), though I've hidden him from Facebook and don't contact him. We've been in touch a couple of times, initiated by him and mainly about the family cell phone plan we were on, but he's thrown in some personal things in each email. The last one, he mentioned seeing something about my moving on Facebook. I had RSVPed to an event and said no because I'd be moved. My biggest fear about telling him is that he will think the move is for him and freak out thinking that I want him back/I'm crazy/etc. when that could not be further from the truth. I do not want to be in a relationship with him at all; I've honestly been a LOT happier without him in my life. But I'm torn because I feel like telling him would be the right, decent thing to do. Any advice is definitely appreciated!
But you guys are right, I really don't owe him anything anymore and he isn't a part of my life anymore. So why agonize over it?
Comment