Anxiety

[DeathMetal]

Hi, my SO and I have been going out for nine months this month (we met in person and decided to be official after our first meeting 9 months ago) and I seem to be having anxiety attacks during our visits. Our first meeting I stayed in a hotel near her for two days and had a great time with her besides a tiny panic attack the night before I asked her out. Flash forward to our second meeting four months later and up until my car ride to pick her up I was feeling super excited and happy to see her. Once I pulled up to pick her up I was a huge nervous wreck making me feel physically nauseous and dizzy and this feeling kept persisting until the third day of her visit when she returned home.

For our third meeting my girlfriend and I made plans for her to stay for 2 weeks in December to January. Tonight is the night of the second day of her two week visit and I'm feeling sick due to nervousness again (it was super bad picking her up from the airport.) Once we got home and settled down I seemed to be feeling better compared to the second visit but I still get nauseous and dizzy occasionally.

It really bothers me because I want to be energetic and happy during our visits but I get all woozy and nervous keeping me from being myself and enjoying them as much as I'd like. I really love my girlfriend and I've told her if I appear sick its because I'm nervous not because I'm bored with her or that I don't love her. Is this intense nervousness normal? Will my sick feelings go away after a few visits? After browsing the site for similar situations I think I may be having trouble matching the person I talk to on the phone and online to the girl right in front of me. Does anyone have any suggestions related to that as well?

(My symptoms are nausea, low appetite, abdominal pain, dizziness)

Thank you

[Black_Halloween]

See a doctor.

[monkinlove]

Hey DM,

I used to suffer with anxiety attacks for a time and I've had several friends who have had them as well. Some thoughts.

I'm not sure if you had panic attacks before the relationship or just being nervous about the relationship has triggered these, but either way it can be treated. There are medications, but personally I would say stay away from them. Especially if it is only due to the relationship. You will probably get more comfortable with each other and the anxiety attacks may subside. However, if they do not, then there may be some work you will have to do to help address this.

Part of addressing it is doing the work of analyzing what is triggering these attacks (most likely thoughts either consciously or subconsciously). This is basically a simple therapy called "cognitive therapy." You can get books on this as well. I would recommend anything by Lucinda Bassett. However, there are others. Basically what you will need to do is confront illogical or fallacious thoughts with logical thoughts. If the thoughts are subconscious then you will have to analyze a bit deeper on what those thoughts are. Insecurities, past relationships, fears of rejection etc. Perspective is everything in fear and anxiety. I hope this helps. Let me know if you have any follow up questions.

-Monk

[Kiyama]

You should seek help. A family member suffers from panic attacks and anxiety. It started out with the occasional sickness and dizziness but untreated it became much worse. You will profit from it in the long term. Good luck

[Alsfia]

It might be as the other posts suggested, but then again it sounds exactly like my boyfriend was the first times we visited eachtoher. Of course, he is naturally a shy and rather nervous person when he's in a new situation, and I don't know if you are, but we talked it through numberous times and now he has no problem with this. I agree though, if the problems persist, you might want to seek professional help. Best of luck to both of you

[sewbama]

I have panic disorder and get anxiety attacks a lot. I've been doing a lot better since I recognized them for what they are (my symptoms are chest pain and breathing issues, so took a while to get a diagnosis). I can usually calm myself down. For when I can't, I take xanex. It's really helpful. It always ends it and quick. So, get to a doctor. They can help.

In the mean time, try to find things to do to calm yourself down when you have a panic attack. Breathe. Try to refocus your thoughts. There are lots of things you can try to help yourself through it. And since you know your trigger, you can more easily prepare for them.

I know this is a rough situation, but it can be solved. Good luck.

[garnet]

Since it's still going on, I'd suggest seeking help sooner than later. Maybe you would benefit from a take as needed anxiety/panic attack drug like Xanax or one of the other rapidly acting benzo's. This isn't the popular opinion, but psych drugs have saved my life. I don't need therapy, I have a chemical imbalance and finally found the right meds to make me, me again. If you take them correctly, they can change your life for the better. Of course only a doctor can say if that's what you need. I would suggest seeing a psychiatrist vs a general doctor. Good luck!