So I haven't really talked about my situation recently. The short story is that my SO and I have been LD since we met over 8 years ago (official for more than 2.5 years), but we lived 5 hours apart and were able to talk multiple times a day and see each other every 4-6 weeks. Then he took job overseas in a remote area of a war-torn country (don't want to be more specific than that due to security reasons). He will be there for 12 months. We had hoped to see each other in August, but due to safety/timing issues, we decided it was best that we hold off until his contract is finished in February. We're able to talk every other day or so: sometimes more, sometimes less, depending on how well skype is cooperating. It's more than I thought we would be able to communicate, so I'm happy about that. But it's also always on his schedule, so I really miss being able to call him whenever I want, even the middle of the night.
This brings me to the reason for my post. Tonight I fell asleep around midnight and then woke up again around 2:30 feeling really anxious. I'm still up now at 4:00am. It doesn't happen all that often, but there are times I'm up all night because I get myself all worked up about something. Logically, none of these things I have anxiety about are big enough to warrant staying up all night worrying. But I somehow manage to do it to myself.
When my SO was closer, I would call him when I would get like this. He would barely wake up from his sleep, tell me not to worry, that he loves me, send me a hug, etc. If I really needed to talk, he would wake up fully and talk to me for as long as I needed. It wouldn't always be enough to totally rid myself of anxiety, but it would always help.
Well, now that he's overseas, that just doesn't happen. If I'm feeling anxious and upset, I don't have anyone I can call. I usually spend the evening surfing online, watching videos, etc. Tonight, I just kept thinking of him, wishing I could call him up like I used to. And then suddenly, I see that he's on skype! I knew he was working, but I wrote him a quick message anyway to tell him I love him and that I hoped he is having a good day. And before I was able to hit send, he called! We were only able to visit for a couple of minutes since he was on shift, but I feel so comforted that he's all the way on the other side of the world, but he's still there for me like he always has been.
And these are the things that help me to see that, no matter how hard it is to be apart from him, we are connected. And no amount of distance will break that.
Anyone else have stories like this you'd like to share? What kinds of little things help you to feel that your LDR is meant to be?
This brings me to the reason for my post. Tonight I fell asleep around midnight and then woke up again around 2:30 feeling really anxious. I'm still up now at 4:00am. It doesn't happen all that often, but there are times I'm up all night because I get myself all worked up about something. Logically, none of these things I have anxiety about are big enough to warrant staying up all night worrying. But I somehow manage to do it to myself.
When my SO was closer, I would call him when I would get like this. He would barely wake up from his sleep, tell me not to worry, that he loves me, send me a hug, etc. If I really needed to talk, he would wake up fully and talk to me for as long as I needed. It wouldn't always be enough to totally rid myself of anxiety, but it would always help.
Well, now that he's overseas, that just doesn't happen. If I'm feeling anxious and upset, I don't have anyone I can call. I usually spend the evening surfing online, watching videos, etc. Tonight, I just kept thinking of him, wishing I could call him up like I used to. And then suddenly, I see that he's on skype! I knew he was working, but I wrote him a quick message anyway to tell him I love him and that I hoped he is having a good day. And before I was able to hit send, he called! We were only able to visit for a couple of minutes since he was on shift, but I feel so comforted that he's all the way on the other side of the world, but he's still there for me like he always has been.
And these are the things that help me to see that, no matter how hard it is to be apart from him, we are connected. And no amount of distance will break that.
Anyone else have stories like this you'd like to share? What kinds of little things help you to feel that your LDR is meant to be?
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