Is it over?

[DK007]

Tomorrow will be a month since I've heard from her. Her christmas package was finally delivered on the 10th, but the only reason I know is cause of the tracking number, she never said a word. I've texted her, and tried to call her multiple times and have gotten nothing each and every time. I dont know if I should give her more time, I dont know if this is her way of saying its over without actually saying it, I just dont know. She has disappeared from time to time, but no more then a week or 2, however she told me beforehand.

We've been talking for a year and a half, and if you count this last month of no contact, been officially together for four months. I love her and I dont want it to be over, but my friends seem to think its over, and Im having a hard time seeing this objectively.

I know that there wont be any kind of definitive answer, but I need an objective, outside opinion, someone who's not connected to the situation. So after reading the above, do you think its over?

If you need more info, just ask and Ill do my best to answer.

Thanks

[lademoiselle]

Hmm... is there anyone you could get in touch with on her end - maybe a friend or family member - to rule out the possibility that something may have happened? (Not saying that to scare you, it could be anything.) Where did she say she would be going/what she would be doing during the other weeks she disappeared before?

[DK007]

Yes and no. I believe that I have found her sisters social media website, but she lives in the same town I do, and other then when she used to live here with her before, shes never told me her name or anything, I found it purely on my own (while trying to find out if anything had happened I might add) so I dont know if I can just come right out and message her about this, especially with the chance that her sister has no idea about me, or us. Other then that, I have no other way to get in contact with anyone else.

The first time was work and school related. She said she would be busy and would get back to me when she could, which she did. The other time was just last month when she went on a one week surprise vacation with her sister, but again she told me that she would be without service and didnt want me to worry. We talked when she got back.

Last thing we talked about was christmas, and getting gifts for each other. That was a week after she got back. I have another thread on here where I said I thought a text message I sent may have made her mad, but I apologized, and normally shell say when I cross a line, so I cant be certain that it means anything.

[redapple]

Ill be honest... It's not looking too good. I'd suggest sending her another email. Tell her your worried about her and would just like to know what happening and if she doesn't get in touch that you think you've found her sisters contact and that you'll contact her to check that everything's ok as your worried as the lack of contact is not usual between you two.

That way she gets a chance to explain before you potentially surprise her sister with your existence. But i think you deserve to know so if she doesn't get back to you then I'd contact the sister to make sure it's her way of saying its over and that everything is fine with her.

Good luck! I hope everything works out!

[lademoiselle]

I think you should text your SO to say that if she doesn't reply you're going to contact who you think is her sister. You don't have to say you're your SO's partner if you're concerned about that, you could always say you're a friend who can't get in touch with [your SO] and it's worrying you. I don't know if that's the best way to handle it, but I for one would try everything to set my mind at ease. As far as I can tell you don't have anything to lose. The other times your SO wasn't available were for what sounds like legitimate reasons, so there may well be another one this time. I'd want to rule out every other possibility before drawing the conclusion that she's decided to cut you off. Best of luck with this!

[DK007]

I had decided on contacting who I think is her sister as a last resort, if for the only reason of finding out that it is over and shes ok, but my friends had persuaded me to not go down that route, that it was questionable how I found her from their point of view. The hardest part is just simply not knowing, its not like Ive never had things go sour with other people before, so if it is over, its not like I wont get over it, It would Really Suck, but Id be fine. The not knowing is worse then it being over.

I think Ill text her tomorrow, and if theres no response, then Ill try and contact her sister. The only other thing there is, which is of no consequence, but Im not even sure that my texts are being received, her voicemail box is full, and thats new to this last month, so I dont know if shes blocked my number and thats what it says or what, but i digress. Guess Ill see how it goes...

Thanks for your input, glad Im not the only one who sees it this way.

[redapple]

Do you too normally talk via more than one method I.e computers and phone?

Maybe her phones broken? (Though it would still be possible for her to find a way to let you know so this might not be the case...)

[snow_girl]

I think if she hasn't bothered to contact you in a month then it is definitely over.

[Mims27]

I would have to lean towards yes. Honestly if my SO would just disapear like for a month I would probably end it myself. Unless she has a damn good reason for being MIA for that length of time. It's not fair to you. If she's mad at you for some reason, she should just come out and say it. I don't know, maybe it's just me but that's a pretty shitty thing to do...Good luck.

[Sora1101]

If you don't hear from her within 48 hours of telling her you're going to try contacting her sister, do that and make sure everything is okay if you get nothing out of that then I'd say it's definitely over and you need to move on. :/

[DK007]

lademoiselle- Your advice was spot on! I told her exactly that, and a couple minutes later I got a response!! Shes ok, it was a text message that caused this, though not the one that I thought it was. I found a tshirt for her for christmas, and I wanted it to be a surprise, so instead of asking what sized shirt she wore, I asked what size her shoes, shirt and pants were to try and mask what I was getting her, turns out, it weirded her out (Mind you we have never met). Still not an excuse for going MIA for a month though. So I asked if we can work it out, or if shes done with me, and that I at least deserve to know. She said she knows, and that we can talk later cause she was at work.

Later ended up not being tonight, but we hardly ever talk during the week anyway, so, we should talk this weekend. And if not, then I would have reached a point in which there's nothing else that I can do.

Happy, Relieved, Anxious, Stressed, and just Plain Confused! I've been going back in forth in my mind all day long, one minute things are clear as day, and Im accepting things for how they might be, but the next it hits me that she might not be in my life anymore, and that's where it gets hard.

I thank you all for lending me your opinions. Its good to talk to people who understand the dynamic of LDR's. Ill do my best to keep this updated as things happen.

[MattDavies86]

That's good news at least! But that's not a reason to just go AWOL to be honest, seems a little petty :s, could have at least asked you why you wanted to know, hope it works out anyway!

[ST25]

Ugh, I would not take it if my SO disappeared on me for a month. She should have given you a heads-up at least. But since you heard from her this time, I guess that's pretty good. That still doesn't excuse how she just went without contact though.

[Dezface]

Ugh. Ditch her. Seriously. She stopped talking to you over THAT?!!? She's not ready for this type of relationship. And she's cold. She didn't care enough to even tell you she was done...she's not worth it.

[Black_Halloween]

WOW she stopped talking to you for an entire month because of that?! Ditch her, shes not worth it.