*summary at bottom!*
Hi everyone!
Just got back from my first visit to see my SO since going LD late last night, it's 7am here now and I'm struggling to sleep so I thought I'd post a quick update.
Had an amazing time, I was there just over a month. Not one argument (though we've never really argued in our year and a half anyway, both too lazy) and it was great to spend our official 18month anniversary together!
We went to Singapore, where he lives, and visited cambodia and Vietnam for just under three weeks. Had an absolute nightmare with flights but that's a whole other post! We basically had the best time, laughing lots, having fun and basically just being how we usually are together, which was nice to know things hadn't changed.
Anyway before visiting he'd only been gone about two months, just over. For quick background we'd been basically together for a year and a half, living together for the last 6months ish of it. So two months felt forever but I had flights booked so i knew when I'd be over and it was manageable.
Now I'm facing an unknown amount of time (probably May-ish but could be later) til the next visit which will have to be much shorter anyway. It just hurts. And the gap after that could be even longer.
We had such a good time together that I just feel returning to LD is going to be so unsatisfying in comparison. I just feel really lost and like I can't handle it.
What makes it worse is I really don't think he's happy there. He says he likes it to everyone but I felt his attitude was a lot more negative then it usually is for him. Over the holiday he also said he disliked the food, some of the cultural differences and quite often the place. I just don't feel he is totally happy but I can also sense he doesn't want to admit that. He's also only been there three months and has a minimum of three to go.
Which leads to to my question. Basically his housing contract runs out in late August and his boss thinks he's working til at least October but really she thinks it'll be January 2014.
Before he went I told him he had to do what was best for his career, even if that meant extending the time away from me past August. But now I just feel so lost without him and with me feeling like he's not really enjoying it I feel I want to encourage him to come back earlier.
Is it really selfish if me to tell him to try and come back earlier? His boss wants him to stay longer so I know me saying the opposite will add stress to him. Maybe I'm feeling super sensitive because we've just got back from a visit. I don't know. My gut instinct is to keep quiet and let him make his own choices but I also think this will eat me up with stress!
Help and opinions please!
SUMMARY! Realised this is pretty long so.... Basically is it unfair for me to ask my boyfriend to cut his contract at work shorter by 2-6months so that he can come home earlier because I'm struggling with the distance?
Hi everyone!
Just got back from my first visit to see my SO since going LD late last night, it's 7am here now and I'm struggling to sleep so I thought I'd post a quick update.
Had an amazing time, I was there just over a month. Not one argument (though we've never really argued in our year and a half anyway, both too lazy) and it was great to spend our official 18month anniversary together!
We went to Singapore, where he lives, and visited cambodia and Vietnam for just under three weeks. Had an absolute nightmare with flights but that's a whole other post! We basically had the best time, laughing lots, having fun and basically just being how we usually are together, which was nice to know things hadn't changed.
Anyway before visiting he'd only been gone about two months, just over. For quick background we'd been basically together for a year and a half, living together for the last 6months ish of it. So two months felt forever but I had flights booked so i knew when I'd be over and it was manageable.
Now I'm facing an unknown amount of time (probably May-ish but could be later) til the next visit which will have to be much shorter anyway. It just hurts. And the gap after that could be even longer.
We had such a good time together that I just feel returning to LD is going to be so unsatisfying in comparison. I just feel really lost and like I can't handle it.
What makes it worse is I really don't think he's happy there. He says he likes it to everyone but I felt his attitude was a lot more negative then it usually is for him. Over the holiday he also said he disliked the food, some of the cultural differences and quite often the place. I just don't feel he is totally happy but I can also sense he doesn't want to admit that. He's also only been there three months and has a minimum of three to go.
Which leads to to my question. Basically his housing contract runs out in late August and his boss thinks he's working til at least October but really she thinks it'll be January 2014.
Before he went I told him he had to do what was best for his career, even if that meant extending the time away from me past August. But now I just feel so lost without him and with me feeling like he's not really enjoying it I feel I want to encourage him to come back earlier.
Is it really selfish if me to tell him to try and come back earlier? His boss wants him to stay longer so I know me saying the opposite will add stress to him. Maybe I'm feeling super sensitive because we've just got back from a visit. I don't know. My gut instinct is to keep quiet and let him make his own choices but I also think this will eat me up with stress!
Help and opinions please!
SUMMARY! Realised this is pretty long so.... Basically is it unfair for me to ask my boyfriend to cut his contract at work shorter by 2-6months so that he can come home earlier because I'm struggling with the distance?
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