Hello everyone. I am very new to this long distant relationship "thing". I have known my boyfriend since high school, where we actually dated for a short time. During that time i was a very different person than I am now. I got sober and am a new person. He's a pretty different person too. Anyway, during that time (6 years ago), he had quit talking to me all of a sudden and I found later it was because he was interested in someone else. Fine, whatever, I got over it. We only dated for 3 weeks. About 4 months ago, I went home to visit (I moved away), and we had hung out as friends and developed feelings and now were together. He has this ex who completely treated him like hell who would text randomly all of the time. He got defensive when I asked if I should be worried. And honestly, she isn't anything to worry about. Not only in the Looks department, but she isn't a good person and she lives with her boyfriend in another state. That doesn't stop her from contacting my boyfriend, calls him "babe", and his happens late at night. I couldn't hold it in any longer and I had nonchalantly said something about my expectations in a relationship, which lead to talking about her. I asked a few days later if he had spoken to her and he said no. Then he said "well, yeah I asked her not to talk to me anymore like you told me to". I would never tell him to, thats his decision. Regardless, he had lied to my face. I didn't make a big deal, just asked to read the messages. She said said "after everything you told me, I wanted to keep texting you". I didn't ask what that was, because it isn't my business. I say this to give a little background. What's happening now is I'm getting a feeling that he's lying. He's a great guy, very nice to me. Example, the other night he said he was driving around with his friend and his friends girlfriend, who is weird. She never will be around her boyfriend's friends. I asked if it was just them three and received no response. I proceeded to ask if he was okay...still no response. I called about 2 min later because I Have some fear about car accidents. He answers... But said he was nauseous and that was why he wasn't responding and he would call when he was home. That was close to an hour later. Tonight, he was with his 2 friends (boyfriend and girlfriend), gambling with this game, and I asked if it was just them three because he said he was losing. 15 min later i get a response of him telling me who else. It seems like he isn't caring too much about my feelings. I tend to keep things in because I am full of fear that I am going to get hurt because of my past. I am trying to not allow my pain from the past effect this relationship.
Basically, I am not sure how to go about this. I am very nervous and scared and I hate being lied to; I feel so stupid. How can I help myself? I want to trust and not have this lingering feeling. And I don't think i could stress enough how I am very happy with him, and we both talk about futures. He makes a point to text me every morning and night, and pretty long texts....about how amazing I am etc etc. not to mention throughout the day well.
If you have gotten this far, thank you. Thank you for being willing to help me. I appreciate it.
Basically, I am not sure how to go about this. I am very nervous and scared and I hate being lied to; I feel so stupid. How can I help myself? I want to trust and not have this lingering feeling. And I don't think i could stress enough how I am very happy with him, and we both talk about futures. He makes a point to text me every morning and night, and pretty long texts....about how amazing I am etc etc. not to mention throughout the day well.
If you have gotten this far, thank you. Thank you for being willing to help me. I appreciate it.
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