my experience is that its not that I am jealous of the people he is spending time with, I am jealous because they get to spend time with him and i do not. I know that he will not cheat on me the same as he knows i would not cheat on him, we have waited for this relationship too long to do anything that would place it in jeopardy. But when he is with friends, and even family, I have the pangs of jealousy because I want to be there and be involved in what is happening in his life. I want to know the people he is talking about and share in whatever is going on. It makes me feel left out, like an outsider and that is what triggers my emotions.
Announcement
Collapse
No announcement yet.
Jealousy or just dislike maybe?
Collapse
X
-
When he lived here I was far from jealous. Now I feel like I've regressed in feeling 100% secure. I have to wonder if he ever experienced that? These things are normal given the situational overtones however, it should never be something you should try to nip in the bud as soon as you recognize that feeling coming on. I kinda giggle to myself for even allowing jealousy to be something that I would feel. Just make sure you keep it in check
Comment
-
It's a really good question. Since we both have children, each other's ex's are always in the picture and around. Though I have to say, this is annoying more than anything, for each of us. I'm not really the jealous type. For me it's a choice to be jealous or not. We talk about it a lot which helps.
Comment
-
I am jealous of the entire country of Italy, esp anyone in Naples who gets to be around my bf. I like hearing about what he is doing but it kind of makes me a little jealous that I am not there with him experiencing it. It bothers me that some stranger or person he just met gets to do this. I have some fear that someone will try and scoop him up from me by doing the whole "let me show you around Italy" type thing...so yes I am jealous of Italy
Comment
-
Haha im jealous of everyone too. But only because they can be with him and me not. I guess its a kinda normal thing, but i am getting really mean to him afterwards. Im trying to change that, but everytime he tells me he will go now doing something f.e. with his sister, i'm getting really depressed and act cold against him D:
The worst thing about it is: I KNOW IT. I know i'm doing wrong, but my feelings are overrunning me. Oh well. Now i hanged a bit already, i don't let it out on him... but i'm still really... jealous. <_<
Comment
-
Originally posted by Kirschlein View PostHaha im jealous of everyone too. But only because they can be with him and me not. I guess its a kinda normal thing, but i am getting really mean to him afterwards. Im trying to change that, but everytime he tells me he will go now doing something f.e. with his sister, i'm getting really depressed and act cold against him D:
The worst thing about it is: I KNOW IT. I know i'm doing wrong, but my feelings are overrunning me. Oh well. Now i hanged a bit already, i don't let it out on him... but i'm still really... jealous. <_<<3 My Si Shake
Comment
-
I know I do it too but I don't let him see it. I never get mad at him for the feelings I have. They are my own reactions and I don't blame him in any way. I have to learn to adjust to these things. I knew this when I met him and it's hard but I still get all those same feelings of jealousy and insecurities even though I know deep down I have no reason to feel this way. It's just natural because he is far away and I dont get to have a "normal" day to day relationship with him. If he lived here I don't think I would feel this way at all about anyone who was around him. I know I never did when he was living only 3 hrs away.
I wouldn't let it get to you too much and esp don't take it out on him. Many SOs dont like jealousy no matter how far apart you live from them. Don't let your emotions get the better of you! Try not to take it out on him, you don't want him to feel guilty. I know my bf doesnt like insecurity and he knows I have a little of it but he understands why. He knows it's not normal behavior but he understands why I am feeling this way lately esp since with where he was moving to. I have gotten better and he has done a good job at making me feel secure and not worry. I just have to remind myself of this when I start thinking in the "irrational" way and I can't just call him to hear his voice.
Comment
-
No, i don't really feel jealous or have a dislike for anyone she spends time with. I know that even if we lived together we wouldn't be able to spend 24/7 together and she'll spend time with other people. It's a natural thing so i am not fazed by it. I want her to be able to do whatever she wants to do without having to worry about how i am going to act towards her when she gets home and she tells me about it.
That being said, if jealousy rears it head in a relationship i consider it of utmost importance to talk about it and work it out together. Usually the other person will want to help their jealous partner to deal with their emotions, be it by finding one person the that jealous partner is comfortable with and doesn't mind it when they spend time together with their boyfriend/girlfriend, and then slowly expand from that one friend.
I recommend always being honest because if you're not, it will always backfire, somehow and at some time it will get back at you.
Comment
Comment