He read my texts

[Carenza LaRue]

Rugger,

all my sympathy to you.... hope you peeps work it out...




and Toth,

haha.....

you're highly entertaining......
almost like Abraham Hicks...

[Irina_Linn]

pardon me,i am too lazy to read all 12 pages,so could you please in brief tell me how this post got so long and whats it about now? thaaanks i remember tho how it switched to the question of falling out of love

[blankita719]

pardon me,i am too lazy to read all 12 pages,so could you please in brief tell me how this post got so long and whats it about now? thaaanks i remember tho how it switched to the question of falling out of love

It got long because people derailed it into a question of whether or not people find it ok to share passwords or text messages with your SO. Which was not the point. Then some one else jumped into it and stirred up the pot by posting a long and very creepy post about how Rugger had obviously done something wrong to be yelled at and that there shouldn't be anything going on in a text message that your SO can't see.

Rugger kindly added to the posts to let us know what was happening with her currently, and so with that - I'm going to say *big hugs* You do what is right for you. And remember most of us are here for you no matter what you decide to do.

[Rugger]

I'm really trying to do what's best for the both of us. I understand I've hurt him by pulling away from him when I was having problems, but I just needed a safe space to clear my head. I understand that he's lonely because this isn't where he's from. But he also needs to understand how he hurt me and how what he did was wrong.

As I've said, we are going to couples counseling. I'm going to try and prune my relationship with the guys I work with to only inside of work. Apparently according to my parents, I shouldn't be friends with work people outside of work. So I'm going to try that and see how it goes. Maybe I took it too far and maybe I was developing feelings that I didn't see. I wasn't be inappropriate, but having these friendships is clearly distracting me from fixing things with my SO. That's not fair too him and as much as it will kill me I'm not going to overtly do anything to hurt him like that.

As for my feelings, we will see. Maybe the therapist will be able to offer some suggestions about how we can get the spark back.

[Michelle]

Thank you to the 2 members who alerted me to the trolling in this thread early this morning. The members have been banned. My apologies to Rugger for this going on as long as it did.

[Irina_Linn]

It got long because people derailed it into a question of whether or not people find it ok to share passwords or text messages with your SO. Which was not the point. Then some one else jumped into it and stirred up the pot by posting a long and very creepy post about how Rugger had obviously done something wrong to be yelled at and that there shouldn't be anything going on in a text message that your SO can't see.

Rugger kindly added to the posts to let us know what was happening with her currently, and so with that - I'm going to say *big hugs* You do what is right for you. And remember most of us are here for you no matter what you decide to do.

thanks for reply! Rugger-hugs,i am sure you know better what to do.and you seem to be very reasonable and caring so i am sure things will work well for you.we support you here

[Thoth2]

We thought platonic meant an intimate conversation with someone of the opposite sex. Could someone gave an example? Uhh, we believe that the amount of flame after reading that was actually unnecessary. Obviously we didn't mean that, that would be insane, to avoid the opposite sex completely. We meant though like, well we don't know how to explain how we thought of it. Yeah we believe that we interpreted that wrongly, we don't understand why we were banned though, damn. Anyway don't really care though, we'll still check for an example of a platonic conversation because we can't find anything about it. Also Tanja you don't need to insult like that throwing ad hominems around with such a shitty argument LOL. Also we weren't giving advice, we were scrutinizing and publishing our thoughts, anyway can we have an example, that's our last words though 'cause we're probably never coming back because we're banned.

Alright our last request: platonic conversation example

E: oh btw, never read a book in our life

[Bluejay Belle]

Platonic: free from physical desire. Example of a conversation between those with a platonic relationship? Anything you say to neighbors you're friendly with, your friends, coworkers. "Hi Steve! What're you up to today?"

[mllebamako]

that's our last words though 'cause we're probably never coming back

I can only hope.

This thread is not about you, Thoth2. If you want to make a thread about platonic conversations or when yelling is okay or how open your relationship is, then go right ahead. But this thread was about a specific member's problem that she wanted advice on and support from our community.

Rugger, I am glad to see that you guys are going to try counseling. I hope that it gives you the answers you are looking for. We're here to support you no matter what you decide. *hugs* And if you need to talk, I'm always around so you can PM me.

[XxFranticLovexX]

We thought platonic meant an intimate conversation with someone of the opposite sex. Could someone gave an example? Uhh, we believe that the amount of flame after reading that was actually unnecessary. Obviously we didn't mean that, that would be insane, to avoid the opposite sex completely. We meant though like, well we don't know how to explain how we thought of it. Yeah we believe that we interpreted that wrongly, we don't understand why we were banned though, damn. Anyway don't really care though, we'll still check for an example of a platonic conversation because we can't find anything about it. Also Tanja you don't need to insult like that throwing ad hominems around with such a shitty argument LOL. Also we weren't giving advice, we were scrutinizing and publishing our thoughts, anyway can we have an example, that's our last words though 'cause we're probably never coming back because we're banned.

The 'amount of flame' is because your post was basically making an irrational request, even without your knowledge. You were banned for flaming/trolling, which is most likely because you kept trying to point out why the OP was wrong in the situation at hand while she was looking for advice and you were being told repeatedly that she had done nothing wrong.

Alright our last request: platonic conversation example

Google is your friend. I would suggest not tossing out advice and trying to play up your intelligence level while not knowing what you're talking about though. It doesn't help anyone and only makes you look stupid in the end. It's much better to admit that you don't know or to learn the meaning of something before making a comment on it. ;D

E: oh btw, never read a book in our life

That's rather sad. If you have gone to school and actually done something there then you have read a book, even if not for enjoyment.

Honestly, you could really take this as a learning experience. That not everyone who is treated badly deserves it, you aren't always in the right, and that you shouldn't talk about things you have no knowledge of. Things we do and say have repercussions. I don't know how old you actually are but you seem to have some knowledge in some of the things you mention, you just still have a bit of growing up to do and real life experience to gain.

@ Rugger: I hope things go well with therapy and that you two can get this all worked out for the best. Just remember, just because he moved to be with you doesn't mean that you are obligated to stay with him if it doesn't feel right. I know this is probably hard on you both so best of luck to you. <33

[Rugger]

That wasn't so bad.

Therapy went pretty good. I didn't cry like I thought I was going to and the whole story about my ex finally came out. I've never told all of it to my boyfriend because every time I tried to tell him, he would say he didn't want to talk. I finally told him everything. About the manipulation. About the sexual assault. About the abuse and for the first time ever, I didn't cry while talking about it. I think we got a lot of the bad feelings out. I feel a bit relieved although nothings better just yet.

The doctor wants me to see the other doctor in her practice for some individual therapy dealing with the abuse and my anxiety. We made another session for next week.

I feel a little bit free-er than before.

[rubydissolution]

That's awesome Rugger. I hope things continue to go well in couples therapy and in your private sessions. ^^

[summerkid]

that is great! I am first and foremost glad for you and your personal progress. I hope the private sessions will have the best of impacts on you and your life.

[carolynred]

So glad to hear there's progress! Sending my hopes that both your personal and relationship therapy sessions continue to move in a positive direction for you!

[Tanja]

Sounds like a good start! What did your SO think about it? I hope things will only get better from here