I guess it's been on my mind lately ever since Valentine's Day.
I feel that for a while I've been the only one giving my SO gifts, for his birthday, Christmas (reckon the package got lost on the way but I'm sending another one) and I made this Valentine's day about the whole time we've known each other comparing to how we were now (we know each other for 3 years). I can't even remember the last time he made me something. The last thing I remember was when he made a gift for me back in June 2011 for my birthday and then after that he did a little something for Valentine's even though we weren't going out. This may be ridiculous but ever since we became official (which was a week before my birthday last year) he hasn't given me anything. Last year, I spent my birthday mostly by myself because everyone was busy and I was away from family; only a friend was nice enough to meet with me. I guess because he always got me something I was expecting even a little something... but nothing, and I told myself it was okay so I let it pass. I'm not even talking about materials. Because we're both artists we usually make drawings as gifts and he would spoil me so much with them. But I haven't received anything from him in a while and I did a big gift for Valentine's day thinking maybe he would give me something, no matter how small it was, but he actually didn't give me anything. He apologized for not having anything and I was like "it's ok, it's about giving". And I used to think like that but after a year of not getting anything I'm beginning to waver. I love him dearly and I don't doubt his love for me, he shows it in his words, but part of me in feeling insecure.
It's about a month away but soon it'll be his birthday, I'm flying to see him for the first time and it coincides with his birthday. I will give him a present besides me already being one. ;P But still I know just the act of giving him a present will remind myself of how I've been feelings about gifts lately. And I haven't had a nice birthday in a while (last year I barely had anyone to be with me, two years ago I got into a bad fight with my dad, and the year before that I was literally alone because of university projects where my friends and I were on different points of the country). I'm not even talking about gifts since I have only received gifts from my parents for the last year or so but yeah... I guess I'm looking for something to make me feel more special.
Is my SO not been giving me things because we became official? Do we not need gifts to make the other feel special? Should I not expect anything from now on? In what way should I really interpret this...
I feel that for a while I've been the only one giving my SO gifts, for his birthday, Christmas (reckon the package got lost on the way but I'm sending another one) and I made this Valentine's day about the whole time we've known each other comparing to how we were now (we know each other for 3 years). I can't even remember the last time he made me something. The last thing I remember was when he made a gift for me back in June 2011 for my birthday and then after that he did a little something for Valentine's even though we weren't going out. This may be ridiculous but ever since we became official (which was a week before my birthday last year) he hasn't given me anything. Last year, I spent my birthday mostly by myself because everyone was busy and I was away from family; only a friend was nice enough to meet with me. I guess because he always got me something I was expecting even a little something... but nothing, and I told myself it was okay so I let it pass. I'm not even talking about materials. Because we're both artists we usually make drawings as gifts and he would spoil me so much with them. But I haven't received anything from him in a while and I did a big gift for Valentine's day thinking maybe he would give me something, no matter how small it was, but he actually didn't give me anything. He apologized for not having anything and I was like "it's ok, it's about giving". And I used to think like that but after a year of not getting anything I'm beginning to waver. I love him dearly and I don't doubt his love for me, he shows it in his words, but part of me in feeling insecure.
It's about a month away but soon it'll be his birthday, I'm flying to see him for the first time and it coincides with his birthday. I will give him a present besides me already being one. ;P But still I know just the act of giving him a present will remind myself of how I've been feelings about gifts lately. And I haven't had a nice birthday in a while (last year I barely had anyone to be with me, two years ago I got into a bad fight with my dad, and the year before that I was literally alone because of university projects where my friends and I were on different points of the country). I'm not even talking about gifts since I have only received gifts from my parents for the last year or so but yeah... I guess I'm looking for something to make me feel more special.
Is my SO not been giving me things because we became official? Do we not need gifts to make the other feel special? Should I not expect anything from now on? In what way should I really interpret this...
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