Disappointed...

[Karura]

I guess it's been on my mind lately ever since Valentine's Day.

I feel that for a while I've been the only one giving my SO gifts, for his birthday, Christmas (reckon the package got lost on the way but I'm sending another one) and I made this Valentine's day about the whole time we've known each other comparing to how we were now (we know each other for 3 years). I can't even remember the last time he made me something. The last thing I remember was when he made a gift for me back in June 2011 for my birthday and then after that he did a little something for Valentine's even though we weren't going out. This may be ridiculous but ever since we became official (which was a week before my birthday last year) he hasn't given me anything. Last year, I spent my birthday mostly by myself because everyone was busy and I was away from family; only a friend was nice enough to meet with me. I guess because he always got me something I was expecting even a little something... but nothing, and I told myself it was okay so I let it pass. I'm not even talking about materials. Because we're both artists we usually make drawings as gifts and he would spoil me so much with them. But I haven't received anything from him in a while and I did a big gift for Valentine's day thinking maybe he would give me something, no matter how small it was, but he actually didn't give me anything. He apologized for not having anything and I was like "it's ok, it's about giving". And I used to think like that but after a year of not getting anything I'm beginning to waver. I love him dearly and I don't doubt his love for me, he shows it in his words, but part of me in feeling insecure.

It's about a month away but soon it'll be his birthday, I'm flying to see him for the first time and it coincides with his birthday. I will give him a present besides me already being one. ;P But still I know just the act of giving him a present will remind myself of how I've been feelings about gifts lately. And I haven't had a nice birthday in a while (last year I barely had anyone to be with me, two years ago I got into a bad fight with my dad, and the year before that I was literally alone because of university projects where my friends and I were on different points of the country). I'm not even talking about gifts since I have only received gifts from my parents for the last year or so but yeah... I guess I'm looking for something to make me feel more special.

Is my SO not been giving me things because we became official? Do we not need gifts to make the other feel special? Should I not expect anything from now on? In what way should I really interpret this...

[MissButterfly]

Some guys just don't understand that 'it's ok' actually means 'I'm really disappointed'. Some guys think of buying gifts by themselves, but most don't. Really, I highly doubt it has anything to do with him not wanting to give you a gift. To me it's kind of strange since this is not a one time thing but it has happened on multiple occasions. I would assume that he got the hint after the first time and would think of giving you something too for the next occasion.
However, as completely unromantic as it sounds, the best advice I have for you is tell him 'Hey, it's almost (holiday), I'm getting you a gift, will you get me one too?'
Seriously, you may be surprised at his reaction. He most likely has no idea that he's supposed to give you something. (Although not getting anything for birthdays by himself still seems strange to me..)

So if you are this unhappy about it, just outright tell him when the next thing you celebrate is coming up. It's the only thing that's going to make him see he needs to make/get you something!

[Irina_Linn]

Gifts are a shaky subject some people deal without them at all, while others consider relationship to be healthy only after receiving sth.for example me and my SO dont celebrate St Valentine at all as (quoting my SO) "i love you everyday so i rather make every day special for you".just speak with your bf and in a calm manner tell him you wud love to get something from him

[digitalfever]

Some people don't give gifts and others do. I love giving and receiving gifts and to me it shows that someone of my and wants to be part of making my day special and vice versa but I can understand that others don't share that view point and show others they care differently.

I'd talk to him about it and just give heads up.

[Sora1101]

haha I so feel you. I've given my SO multiple gifts while he has yet to get me anything. He's terrible with money and always forgets to save up money for a gift and by time he remembers his bank account is near empty.

The only way to fix this problem is to tell him you want a gift, it doesn't have to be big or even expensive but you would appreciate something.