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Never dealt with the distance like this...

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    Never dealt with the distance like this...

    So Stephen just got back on his plane to go home, and we are both completely destroyed. We've never had to leave each other before because we had never met. I am so empty and broken up and I just really need some support and someone to understand. I know this is the right place.

    Help? Hugs? Anything?




    #2
    -Even more hugs- its normal to feel the way you do. The healthy thing would be to just let yourself cry it out<3 Maybe plan on when the next visit will be?
    Made it official: 12-01-10
    First visit: 3-29-13/4-09-13
    Closed the distance: 07-31-13

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      #3
      I just came back from a visit. I feel horrible too it's normal but it'll get better. Try to distract yourself, it'll get better *hugs*

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        #4
        Lots of hugs. It'll get better once you get back into routine. Ice cream helps too.

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          #5
          It's tons worse after you've met. Just the nature of things. But it will get better. That searing pain you feel right now will be dull and achy soon. I know that still sounds terrible but it's definitely not as bad as that "just left" feeling.



          Met online: 1/30/11
          Met in person: 5/30/12
          Second visit: 9/12/12
          Closed the distance: 1/26/13!!!

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            #6
            It gets shitloads harder after you meet. I think that's why it took us nearly five years to meet but less than one to close the distance. You will get through it though, your routine will come back, and of course you know you're more amazing for each other than you ever knew before. We're here for you. Try to focus on the good parts rather than the hard parts - your state of mind will help you when nothing else can. *Hugs*
            Happily married to the little Canadian boy I never thought I'd meet in person

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              #7
              It's horrible after a visit isn't it! It took me and the SO almost three weeks to get back into the swing of things. I esoecially took it badly. It's definitely tough! stick on there, it might take a while but it does get better!

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                #8
                You know all of the things people say to do when you go through a break up? Eating ice cream and cake, watching sappy movies, going out with friends, crying it out, etc? Yeah, do that.. well except the parts that involve cutting him out, don't do that. XD It may seem ridiculous to the people around you but they aren't in your situation and they don't know how you feel. Once you get over the initial shock and pain of having the one you love taken away from you and start to feel better about it you will fall back into your normal routine with him. Just now you will have other things to talk about and know that you two are going to be together again. You can also start planning out the next visit, maybe making him a small gift or writing him a letter. Things that let you be able to think of him but in a positive way. Everything will seem so much easier in hindsight but in the right now it feels like the worst thing in the world. You can get through this and you'll see each other again before you know it, just hold tight.
                "Babe, I'm totally murdering everyone in this building right now! ... You would be so proud of me."
                This. This is only one of the reasons that I love this man. XD



                "I'll surrender up my heart and swap it for yours."
                Por siempre, mi amor. ♥

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                  #9
                  hugs! yea i agree,its soooo bad right after meeting,and now i am kinda used to it and would be even surprised meeting my SO,like "omg is he real? he is not in my head anymore?" dont worry,this feeling will go soon,just be happy you have each other and also spring is coming! so i am sure winter gloom will go away

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                    #10
                    I feel like the first meet up and first time having to go back to being LDR are huge steps in a relationship. Like another poster said, start planning for the next trip! The amount of time it takes to get back into the routine varies for everyone. But just remember all the good times you had and the good times to come. -hugs- we're here for you!

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                      #11
                      BIG HUGS!! big big hugs! Hang in there... you're going to be together again, you'll close the distance at some point, you love eachother and have eachother and that is important!

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                        #12
                        I know how it feels. The first day is the worst and then it starts getting a little easier.
                        I'm already panicking about having leave him and get on that plane in the beginning of April, sounds mental.
                        It helps a little having the next date planned.

                        Hugs! And when you feel up to it, I would love to hear how things went, what you did etc

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                          #13
                          The busier you'll keep the quicker it gets better. But I think, or at least when it comes to me, it's important to cry it out first. So go in the shower or put some music on, go in the woods or stay in a quiet room: but let it out now. You WILL feel better, trust me.

                          We all know the feeling. This is definitely the right place for support and comfort <3


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                            #14
                            Thanks everyone for your kind words and support! We're both DEFINITELY crying it out. Haha. It just keeps coming out. But in all this sadness, I'm still so happy that I had the chance to be with him. That makes me happier than anything. I miss him, but now I don't have to awkwardly explain to people that I've never met the man I'm going to marry. I can show people pictures and videos. It was the most amazing weekend of my ENTIRE life. I'm blessed in so many ways.

                            Thank you guys!



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                              #15
                              I'm so happy you got to meet each other, and the pictures of you two together are just adorable! The distance is hard, and it really does get harder after you meet each other... But all I can do is give the same advice everyone else already has - cry, eat a ton of ice cream, watch sappy films... Allow yourself to be sad for a bit. And once you feel like you might slowly start being alright, keep yourself busy with a hobby/school/work and time will fly!

                              It's true as A.A Milne said... "How lucky I am to have someone that makes saying goodbye so hard"


                              Met online: February 2011
                              Met the first time: August 16, 2011

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