First time for both of us

[Pamela.L0v3]

This is my first time ever dealing with the deployment of an SO, other than family...
This is His first time having a girlfriend while on deployment...
We are driving each other nuts, and are headed in a down hill spiral...

I'm trying to only be positive always remind him that I love him and miss him, and am happy he is reaching his goals and living his dreams...but it's all feels so one sided at time...I hate the "me too's"
He once said they are trained to deal with this.... I doubt it lol he has no idea how to express himself without being just mean lol
I know he is a very stressful situation, I can't even begin to imagine what it's like...but all I'm asking for is a random text...not just replies..but he gets so angry and just tells me he has to go
"Whatever Pamela" ...ughhhh lol it drives me nuts!!!!
It makes me feel like I'm a bother...so then I just let him come to me...
Ohh God...what for?! Lol then I get the..".oh, you must have your eyes elsewhere that you can't text me..."
Really?!
when he needs someone to talk to, who answers even after he takes his stress out on me?
when he as a 2hour layover in Jersey (we're from CT) who drops everything ( calls out off work with the "cough cough, im sick "sorry ass excuse) just to spend a little time before we are apart for so long?
Y can't I just get a dam "good morning beautiful" text
His excuse: I told you you weren't going to like me on deployment mode.....
Yea no shit...I do LOVE you however...lol insane
Help?? Please??
Not feeling the Love >_>

[kayla_622]

My SO used to be in the military. I wasn't with him while he was still active but he has told me all about his mindset when he is in "deployment mode". The men and women who are deployed work long stressful hours and if they are in an area where combat is taking place the stress level is magnified ten fold. The only advice I can provide since I haven't actually experienced this but have heard about how my SO felt and acted while deployed is that you just need to bear with him. A lot of things are going on in his life at the moment and the last thing he needs to deal with is stress from home and in relationship. I don't mean to totally be a push over but, try to understand what he's going through. I'm sure he does still love you a lot but he has other things he is having to deal with right now.

[Kristin91]

Have you told him how his actions make you feel? The key to long distance is communication, and without being able to communicate your relationship is going to be rocky at best. Good luck!

[ThePiedPiper]

Stressed out or not, deployed or not, it doesn't allow him to be an asshole and get away with it. It's a part of the reason I would never date someone in the military, let alone someone who didn't have enough self-control not to take their stress out on me all or most of the time. I get that it's stressful and that sometimes people take stress out on each other, but that should be an occasional issue, not the norm. In no way is it okay to allow your SO to become a punching bag, whether you're out saving the country or not.

Personally I would let him know that it's not okay for him to be treating you like he is, or talking to you as he is, but I would also drop the expectations for him to send you a text first every once in a while. Why do people seem to think the only reason their partner must care is if they text first...? My ex rarely texted first or contacted me first and we never had this issue in our relationship because I realised I was being ridiculous to think he mustn't want to talk to me if he didn't text me or talk to me first. Your SO is undergoing a lot right now, so texting first might not always be at the forefront of his mind. I don't condone the way he's talking to you at all - like I said, even deployment isn't an excuse for him to treat you like a jackass - but I also think you need to be understanding of the hours he's working, the situation he's in, and drop the silly expectation that he needs to text you first every once in a while to prove that he cares/loves you.