Who is in a long term LDR?

[COgrl789]

Hey there!

I wanted to present this question to those who have been in a long-term LDR.

How long have you been in the LDR and would you say the way you act and treat each other is the same as when you first started dating or has and changed? And how?

[Butterfly-x]

Does 1yr and 7mths count as long term? Someone enlighten me
As for experiencing changes in our relationship, we've been through a lot and looking back, we've changed so much and grown so much as individuals. Our honeymoon period lasted for about 1yr, weird cause it typically lasts around 4 mths or so for some couples. I kinda realised it was coming to an end, and that realisation came with anxiety and the fear of getting bored or being stuck in some sort of relationship ''rut'', but we've made efforts to spice up the relationship by trying new things etc.

Also, we are constantly trying to improve our communication skills especially when it comes to dealing with conflict, insecurities and such. At the start of the relationship, we had no clue & although we were so in love, we were constantly fighting over everything and nothing and these senseless fights lasted days o.O I really dont know how i endured that, lol. But, good thing i never gave up cause our relationship is worth it.

When it comes to showing affection, my boy still looks at me with the same lovingness and affection as he's always done. He still tries to cheer me up, and showers me with sweet words.. Sometimes, i even have to tell him to step it down a it, lol (im not too much of a touchy-feeling person)

Hope i helped!
x

[Caitlin2009]

dunno if this counts as well but ive been in one with Denise for a year and a half, and each and everyday our relationship changes and we get closer then ever

[folclor]

Technically I've been in an LDR since May 2009, but only officially for a month. As everyone is different you're going to get a wide variety of responses. My relationship with Alex has had a lot of ups and downs, but we've never broken up. The worst situations are when his family and his job are bearing down on him (like this week). Then he doesn't really want to talk and he isolates himself. but that's about the only change...except for getting a deeper relationship, of course. And ever since I went there for the visit his family has been excited about when I get to go next. They keep asking him. ^^; So the only changes are changes for the better.

[Bluestars]

We have been together around a year and three months and all of it has basically been LDR except for around two months in the middle. We definitely do not treat each other the same way as we did when we were first dating lol. For the first five or six months, we were soooo in love and we would be mushy gushy all of the time. We could not get enough time with one another and we talked for hours at a time.

Now things have cooled down, but that is ok because that happens when the honey moon phase is over. We don't talk as long as we used to, but that is because we know more about each other so there is not as much to discover. My SO is also not as romantic, and that is probably the thing I miss the most lol! When we are in person though, everything is still the same

[alise120]

Well, me and my SO have been in a LDR for a year and a half now (still haven't met yet). Things were like heaven for the first couple of months. He would be so romantic and so loving that it overwhelmed me .

Everything was "golden" for him and I until the "honeymoon" phase was over. Things we used to do, like talk on the phone for hours, send each other nonstop texts messages, go on webcam every night, and even saying lovey dovey stuff, came to a halt .

It was beautiful while it lasted but we mostly got used to each other and cooled off. We are still madly in love with each other, its just we don't show much affection in that area anymore. I guess we have to spice it up again .

[threecheers9980]

Joe and I have been together for a year and a half. Things are way different than they were in the beginning, mostly because I'm so honest with him now. But he's also grown more patient with me. We're still so affectionate with each other and talk a lot and e-mail each other like everyday and say all the lovey dovey stuff.

[Èternity]

We've been together for a year and a bit. Still don't know if that is long term. The change is for the better. I think we know each other better now. I know I'm more honest about my feelings and concerns. We talk on cam each day still and commit to doing that as part of our daily routine. We are as mischievous and mushy as we have always been with each other from the start. We keep thinking that this will cool down but so far it's still there. We are still to meet in person and my hope is that this will only enhance the feelings we already have for each other.

[polkapiggy]

Alex and I have been together for just over a year and 9 months and due to our circumstances are yet to meet and will not meet for a while yet. He hopes to be able to visit around next Easter time. I would say we are long term LDR because we have already been LDR for quite a while and will be LDR for quite a few years. This is the last year of high school for both of us. After high school, I have 2 years of 6th form, and then I can take my gap year and go stay with him while he is in college. Alex wants to take his gap year right after high school and then return to the US for college (he is still unsure of whether or not he wants to go to college though) and then after I have done my gap year and he is in college I will be returning to England to train to be a teacher. So we will be on and off LDR for quite a few years.

[Desya]

Our situation is kind of strange. We met at our Uni and are CD for the school year but LD for the summer and holidays. Our problem is that we don't know when this back and forth will end because she is not a citizen (only a resident) and is on a student visa. She lives in seattle and I in michigan where our school is. We'll be graduating next school year (5 years seniors lol) assuming she gets her green card by then. If not, she either has to stay in school (which is hard to afford) or go back to england (where she has limited family) and the distance becomes even greater (for who knows how long). So I normally call our situation a long term LDR because the stability is so up in the air and we have no idea when the "distance" will officially, properly end. Oh, and we've been together for almost two years lol

[Paris]

we have been together for 8months and we treat each other the same as if we just met. I am lucky to have someone who is very affectionate and loving when I am with him which is what makes it hard when I am not with him. He isn't too big on the phone or email but he does it. He shows his feelings more than he says them, he isn't good at that He feels that I should already know and he shouldn't have to tell me all the time. So when he does confess his feelings it makes it that much more special. When I met him he lived 3hrs away now he is in Italy for 3yrs and it's been harder than I thought it would be but I am dealing. We still do all the same things, nothing has really changed except how much I love him more and more each day. He truly is wonderful.

[Tanja]

We've been together for over 2 years and yeah our relationship has changed but only for the better, we talk about everything openly, we still say and do all the lovey dovey stuff to each other every day, text/mail every day, chat and webcam almost everyday and talk on the phone whenever we get the chance.

We trust each other more than before and we're both really comfortable around each other, there's none of that having to look at your best-acting anymore when we cam, we've seen each other at our highest and lowest and it's all just perfect, I can't wait for us to move in together in a couple of years and live happily ever after. I wouldn't change a thing in our LDR. Well, except that it wouldn't be a LDR

[bigmac62]

We've been together for almost three years, and, like almost everyone else, I can only say that our relationship has changed only for the better. I've been able to come out of my shell little by little, and she has become more and more trusting of me (she doesn't have to worry that I'll cheat on her, or that I'll leave her for no reason, etc.). We fit together just perfectly, and I wouldn't trade her for any girl in the world.

[Zephii]

How long have you been in the LDR and would you say the way you act and treat each other is the same as when you first started dating or has and changed? And how?

I'm not in an LDR anymore, but we were in it long term so I thought it'd be fun to answer.
We were long distance in an unofficial but deffinantly more than friends way for 5 odd years before we met and then another year officially after we met. But, because we grew up together in that time, it's hard to really answer the question. Some things have changed, for sure. He doesn't write corny poetry for me anymore and he's not affraid of commitment now, but he still sings to me on occasion like in the old days and he still reads to me, and makes my heart race, and the chemistry... ^^;
Some things that have changed is it has become harder for us to talk and be fully honest, because in the begining we were just two kids an ocean apart and it didn't matter at all what we said to each other, we cared less about the effect our words might have. Now, we'll try not to say things if they will be hurtful and it takes longer to address problems (some of which we still write to each other to solve, rather than talking), but we remember that in our past we could be completely honest and not be judged, and I know that helps remind me to continue the trend.
I've learnt that how we treat each other often depends on the other things in our lives. I'm a bitch in the morning and directly after I get home from work, and I take it out on him. And I'm clinging and hormonal at "that time" and he tolerates me asking for reassurance, and truly makes me believe what he says (even though I already know I'm just wanting to hear him say it), while he is nearly unbearable when he is out of work because he can't be content and idle, and I try to distact him and stop him from mopeing, and it's hard for him to talk to me about the future, and I try to make compromises so that it's less scary for both of us.
At the end of the LDR the biggest change I felt was that we were no longer enjoying the relationship, we were "waiting on pause" for the distance to be over.
Most of the ways things have changed are more about having grown as individuals though and that turned out for the better.

[leonloveschris]

When im 19 I can move to Australia to my boyfriend, so it will be a 6 year LDR :o