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His Friends: Legitimate Impressions

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    His Friends: Legitimate Impressions

    Many of you have heard me being rather anxious or ranty about his three female best friends.

    Well, I finally got to meet them all and I thought I would talk a bit about them--I would be interested in your opinions on the meetings.

    L was the first. She is the one he says he feels like a big brother toward. I met her as the same time as his music professor, who was very nice but gave me a grilling about most everything (including my work situation, which made me feel kind of depressed...but at least she seemed to grill everyone). I think that lunch went well, overall. I found L to be either a little stand-offish or shy, but that is understandable for a first meeting. I appreciated that she had done cute things like reminding him to bring me lots of water (since it was so hot) and making sure that he got me flowers from a nice place. She even suggested that he compose a song that I dance to for his final composition recital in the fall--that would be entirely romantic, but his reaction was kind of hard to read...so I am not sure if that will actually happen. Body-language-wise, I was a bit surprised to find that she was really competing for his eye contact and making lots of goo goo eyes at him; that annoyed me a bit, but I didn't actually feel too insecure about it, because of how he says he feels towards her (that said she looks a little like Alexis Bledel, who is his celebrity crush. XP). The only part that really bothered me (and this is where some of you might step in) is that when we were leaving outside, she faced entirely towards him and was going on and on about how they had to play tennis together and implying that they should do it while I was there (good gracious, I was only visiting for ten days! The sport of tennis won't expire before then). After a good while, she kind of looked sideways at me and said "I guess you two could play me." Thanks? I remembered, though, that she had asked us to play doubles with her and her bf (whom she had broken up with just before I got there) and I had thought otherwise for a first meeting, since I am nowhere near as competitive as they are.

    B is his best friend. We met up with her and her long-time bf at a fancy restaurant. All four of us turned out to really hit it off and it was awesome! The only chemistry I detected between them was that of great friends, so that made me feel good. I could see us going on lots of couples dates if I lived there. Oh and...best thing ever...B's bf asked if I had met G yet and went on about how annoying and loud she is and B even gave her a bit of a razz! It was fantastic!

    G....*shudders* (She was the one I was dreading meeting). So, here's the thing...HE made the plan to meet up with her on our last night together. Bad idea, yeah? The restaurant turned out to be really nice and they played live jazz music. She dragged along her latest flavour in boyfriends. Anyway, I found the conversation rather awkward and stilted, compared to meeting up with his other friends. He forgot to give me an "I want to escape" signal, like we had previously agreed on, but it turned out to be not that bad. He was really affectionate during the meal, though and made sure I knew he was there for me. That night, he asked several times how I thought it went. He said "well"...though we both agreed that her bf was really hard to get to talk. I also couldn't resist saying "I found G to be rather snippy, just saying" and he just gave me a pregnant pause and a glower...but I decided to change the subject and suggest we go out to do some other things, so as not to spoil our last night together. Is it possible, after all these feelings of weirdness and jealousy towards her before meeting, that after meeting I can be justified in disliking her as a person and expressing that to him? I found that she really excluded her boyfriend, who was rather shy. Then, the one and only time I misheard my SO and he was teasing me about it, she jumped on it and was bragging about how she had heard him properly and how strange it was that I had heard the wrong thing (I heard grandfather, instead of grandmother...seriously not a huge deal). The second most annoying thing was that she was semi-interested in what we had been doing and was a little competitive with what her and her bf had been doing (that wasn't the annoying part), so she somehow translated that into saying, throughout the entire meal, how very LONG I had been there (I had no idea 10 days was an eternity). Finally, the most annoying thing, which I think everyone at the table noticed and called her on a bit (thankfully...although my SO seemed to forget about that later), was when she said to my SO something like "those two will be gone by Tuesday, so you can come over to the place I am house-sitting and we can have some fun/ you can entertain me"--SERIOUSLY???

    #2
    L sounds like she is hanging onto him if not for romantic reasons then because he's a guy that treats her well and doesn't expect some closet favors. It was nice of her to suggest a few things but I agree it was rude that she make a point to try and pull him away for tennis, even moreso adding the afterthought of "oh well you both could play". She can have his attention for a sport when you're not there, you paid money to be there with him and it was a limited time frame. Either she didn't understand that or thought you wouldn't care.

    B's boyfriend sounds funny, it's always easier, I think, to meet friends who are already in relationships when they're the opposite gender. That way you don't feel you're vying for romantic attention.

    Ah G. Hearing second-hand was bad, but that makes her sound like a USDA grade skank. First off I don't find it polite to bring a fling or any new relationship to such a meeting. It's hard enough when you've been with them for a while and want them to meet friends, not a friend and his girl. That, to me, sounds like she wanted the scale to be even and like she wasn't any grade of pitiful for going alone. She didn't make a very good impression especially with her jumping down your throat about mishearing (there's music, I mishear things all the time when that happens and I have very good hearing) and what the everloving hell did she mean by that comment? That sounded sexual, but perhaps I'm a bit biased to say. All in all she didn't give you much reason to lift your opinion of her and you have every right to genuinely dislike the girl regardless of how he feels about it. Exactly what country is going to blow up if you don't like her?

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      #3
      Maybe the first girl suggested tennis while you were there because she didn't want to be like "come play tennis after your girlfriend leaves" but obviously she didn't phrase it the right way!

      As for the last girl, bleh. I am guessing (hopefully) she was joking about having fun together but that's pretty bad taste. Seems fair enough to dislike her I reckon. :P

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        #4
        Sounds like L & G are a couple of girls who need to be taken out back and paddled. If they had said things like that around me, they'd of gotten one, no matter what my guy said. Granted I'm years older but I don't take the drama and bull from girls period.

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          #5
          Hey, thanks for all the comments. They either affirmed some things for me or gave me some things to think about...and helped me to realize some things that I was maybe too scared of being biased about to surmise.

          In L's defence, I found out later that she was moving soon. However, she was moving to a city about 45 minutes away (which, in British Columbia, seems like nothing to me), so I guess she was antsy to hang out with him. Still, it was rude, but I will let that one pass, as it seems rather innocent compared to G, in some ways.

          As for G, I forgot some parts of the story, too...but I didn't want to make her sound ridiculously bad...but now I feel like it. For instance, she's always trying to get him to these jazz restaurants with her, yet acted like a total ditz about the music and even when to clap (and I haven't heard that much live jazz and I knew). I have hope that he barely tolerated that, because he very much likes it when friends, etc. are intellectual equals/or at least behave at their capacity and gave me a bit of a rough time when I was acting a little ditzy/cutesy about something when we were baking together, previously. There were some jokes that we shared with her, which even got her boyfriend laughing, but she either put on the ditz act, or acted like we were ridiculous for think it was funny. The more I think about it, the more that I think she played the mean girl routine (which guys usually don't pick on too much). At least when she said that ridiculous comment, both guys jumped on her and asked her what the hell she meant (though she played it dumb...but thank goodness my SO found other fun things to occupy himself with this week, rather than visiting her). Oh, and here is the kicker...you will eat this up with a spoon...it's seriously funny...if it wasn't actually what happened. Not only was she rude and inconsiderate in bringing her new bf to this sort of meeting and virtually ignoring him...she also said they met because she had dated all his other friends and she would "see how it goes" (and how much harder their long-distance relationship was than ours, because they had been close by before...and now they are two hours away!)...okay, wait...now here is the kicker (I promise!)...at the end of this meal, which must have been rather a bad experience for this poor guy, she takes their bill and says that she will pay for it for his birthday present!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How tacky! I mean, paying for someone's meal for a birthday present is actually a lovely idea, but not when it was an experience like that!
          Last edited by Lunar Snow; July 31, 2010, 09:42 PM.

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            #6
            Not to sound like an outright bitch, but can I get permission to take that girl's ovaries until she grows up? Jazz isn't like sitting at some place and listening to a guy with a guitar and some other dude on the drums play classic rock covers where you can smash your face on the table in applause, goodness. And playing the dumb 'blonde' doesn't win you points in any circle because you're not cute, you're showing you haven't grown up and think batting your mascara-laden lashes at the one mad at you like you did your dad when you were 7 is a 'get out of jail free' card. And what does that say about her admitting to dating all that guy's friends and then him? Has she been tested? Yikes!

            So was it that poor sod's birthday? That's... really cruel actually, if it was. Dragging him to dinner with people he doesn't know, ignoring him, and then deciding his present was her paying the bill? Be cheaper and much classier to get the poor guy a Hallmark card.

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              #7
              My statements still apply *rolls eyes*

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                #8
                Well, Rhiavaan...they all do live in Kansas. Heh heh, if you ever do encounter G, you will know it by the caustic slime aura she projects.

                LadyMarchHare: I don't think it was his official birthday (I think the date had actually passed before he came to visit), but that was definitely what she intended to commemorate it (he did a little blip of sticking up for himself and said "that's weird"). I question whether she should ever breed at all. I really had to bite my tongue. I just tried to be myself and maybe a little sweeter than usual, which, as you said, I think annoyed her quite a bit. When I felt like I was either going to verbally slam her or laugh my head off at her, I took some sips of my bellini and imagined doing those things, instead.

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