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100 tips for LDR

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    #16
    27. Accept that this is how it is right now, and focus on your own relationship rather than being jealous of other people. Don't give in to the temptation to feel sorry for yourself. (At least not every day!)

    28. Treat your relationship the way you would if it were NP (near proximity), don't make a big deal out of the distance when talking to others and they are likely to be less judgmental. People react to the social ques you put out there.

    29. Talk to your family and friends, and prepare them well in advance of your plans. This lessens the blow for them, and provides a united front, rather than leaving one member of the couple feeling unsure if they can say something when great aunt Miltie corners them the minute their SO goes to the loo.
    Happily married to the little Canadian boy I never thought I'd meet in person

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      #17
      30) Don't be afraid to be silent with each other. As Belle, said getting creative is important, but don't be afraid to just sit there and enjoy each other's company.

      31) Sometimes, people multi-task when they talk to each other. If your SO never looks you straight in the eyes, and can't seem to hold a conversation for more than thirty seconds, you have something to worry about. But it's okay if you put on makeup, brush your teeth, cook dinner, etc. when you talk to one another. You'd do this if you're CD!

      32) Always always always be honest, and do so when you're both refreshed and focused. Having big conversations or speaking about big issues never works when you're distracted, stressed, or overly tired. You each deserve undivided attention from the other when you're talking about crucial subjects.

      33) Remember you both make sacrifices. Don't try to "one up" the other, or compete with how much you give up (i.e. Well, I slept only 5 hours last night, so you owe me this etc.). Take turns making big sacrifices (such as paying for trips), but keep in mind each other's different financial, emotional, and familial circumstances.

      34) Don't let haters get to you!
      "I love thee to the depth, and breadth, and height my soul can reach..." ~Elizabeth Barrett Browning

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        #18
        35) If your SO speaks a different language, try and learn it It's something fun you can do together, and it could also score you points with their family :P Plus all the other benefits of knowing an extra language.

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          #19
          (36) Don't suck the life out of each other. Connect when you can, but go about your daily life as usual. If your SO (or you)are busy at the usual time you connect, say so and set another time to connect. You can't take it personal. Sometimes, things come up and your usual meet has to be put on hold for a bit.
          February 2012 -- met online
          August 2012 -- he said "I love you."
          April 2013 -- met in person
          June 2013 -- broke up
          July 2013 -- back together
          August 2013 -- 2nd visit
          October 20, 2013 -- He proposed!
          April 22, 2014 -- Married/closed the distance!

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            #20
            37. Pick your fights. Accept each other's differences- accept each other's imperfections. Don't wreck yourself over miniscule pettiness.

            38. Patience is key.

            39. If something really, truely bothers you- talk it out. Don't be afraid to voice your opinions. A relationship is a building of experiences; a comforting net that you can count on.

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              #21
              40. Managing a LDR doesn't make you an expert when it comes to relationships. CD couples can also miss eachother, and even if it can feel unfair that someone mentions/complains that they miss their SO when they where together just a couple days back is not worth getting upset about.

              41. A LDR is a real relationship, and no one should tell you any different. It's your choice to be in one, not any one elses.

              42. It's important to remember that sometimes real life doesn't measure up to being together online, this is something that should be concidered especially if you met your SO online and haven't been able to meet yet. Your first visit will tell you so much more about how compatible you two are together.
              We part only to meet again ~ J.Gay

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                #22
                43. Share as much as you can, because sometimes it may make you sad that you can't show your SO all the things around you, so take pics, videos exc.

                44. If you are having a hard day, don't be mean with your SO. He/she doesn't deserve it. Distance is already hard and if you are going to ruin his/her mood without explaining what is wrong, then it will be rough and make it even harder.

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                  #23
                  45. Communicate! As others mentioned, without the facial expressions and body language, it can be hard to comprehend what the other is thinking. Dont hold back on whats on your mind and dont be afraid to admit you dont understand something that was said.

                  46. Live your life. Doing things for yourself will give you more things to talk about/show your SO. Even with a CD relationship, you shouldnt be glued at the hip 24/7. You each have your own likes and interests that you should persue
                  everything happens for a reason. We may never find out what that reason is/was, but there is a reason.

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                    #24
                    47. If you haven't met yet don't put too much pressure on having the perfect first visit. It's okay to feel awkward or something, and remember even if you are amazing together LD doesn't mean it'll be the same CD. Just give it some time.

                    Notes:
                    Met: 8.17.09
                    Started Dating: 8.20.09
                    First Met: 10.2.10
                    Closed the Distance: 8.9.14

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                      #25
                      48. If you find yourself getting bored of routine, find something new you guys can do together. Monotony threatens every relationship, but it is a much more difficult thing for LDRs to conquer. My SO and I learned how to play chess together. Even though that is such a small thing, it sparked a little competition between us and it was intellectually stimulating. It literally improved our whole relationship! Another thing we did was create a shared journal to mail back and forth to each other. My SO had never done anything like that before, so it challenged him to be creative. It's something I look forward to every week, I never know what new additions I might find. Next semester we're going to take a course offered at both of our schools so we can study together for it.

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