Our relationship got pretty peaceful lately but suddenly it just went badly for the last three days. What bothers be is that the reason made us fighting is pretty lame but somehow the fights seem endless. So the first one was 3 days ago when my SO just got up when I was playing video games. She asked me what I have been doing that night and I thought she was asking me what I was doing at that moment. So I said I played video games. Then she got upset since all I did was playing video games but what I actually did was working for my new projects, went shopping for grocery and a whole lot of cooking before I play. I then explained to her that it was a misunderstanding. but somehow she was very upset and refused to skype with me that night. and we didn't talk for the whole day. We made up tonight and had some fun together. for a while. Then I saw my friend posting a confession form where people can comment about him anonymously. I thought it would be fun and did the same thing. Aaaand she got upset again. she thought it's some kind of attention whoring (no offense to anyone does this) and it's lame. After that I deleted the link and suprisingly SHE WAS STILL UPSET. what made me crazy is that she is upset because her being angry about it prevented me from doing it. it pressures me when she even wrote a subliminal status on facebook about how much she hates it so I think it'd be better if I get rid of it. I tried to talk to her again and tell her it's not worth fighting about this but nothing helps so far. Now we're just skyping in silence and I think it's gonna be another day without us talking to each other. I'm really confused and depressed right now because of how she reacted about this. I really hope it's just because of her stress at work or maybe it's her "week" of the month how do I resolve this paradoxical fight?
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First off, don't ask if it's her time of the month. Even if it is, for a woman it can be really hard to see that you're being unreasonable because of it. When you do see it, it can still be impossible to stop, and embarrassing if someone else sees it when you don't. So even if it is, try to pretend it's fine.
Best thing you can do is not fight back (seems like you're doing that pretty well). Next step is to try to come cleanly into a new conversation (take a few hours to yourselves, maybe a day if it's what she needs) and then ask her what's going on. Don't blame her. Don't ask why she's being so mean. Say that you have noticed that "we" have been having trouble communicating. Try to start fresh and TOGETHER find the root of the problem. It may be in both of you, even if you don't notice you are pushing her buttons. But if you start by coming at her, she will probably get mad again. Just tell her you want to resolve whatever it is (it's not the reasons for those arguments). Ask how she's really doing, if she's stressed, if she's really missing you. Try to find what's really wrong. Also, look to yourself. Maybe you were a little short with her or took a bad tone that compounded this. Maybe that's triggering her.
It's not a big deal, but solving the right way is important. Good luck.Met online: Nov 2010 - Met in person: Nov 20, 2010
Closed the distance: April 27, 2011
Accepted to PhD program 200 miles away: March 2012
LD again: July 24, 2012
Left School and Closed the Distance for good: March 8, 2013
Married: November 1, 2014
Started job 200 miles away: February 23, 2015
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In my experience, if you ask an already pissed off woman if she's on her period, she'll go from Mother Teresa to Jeffery Dahmer (Satan if she's actually on her period) faster than you can blink xD. If you really need to know, just keep track of her cycles :P. It's super creepy, but easier than asking.
Now for your current problem. Just let her cool down @_@. Say whatever you need to say short of lying (because that almost always makes things worse XP) to resolve this issue and get her in a better mood. Once that is done, you need to find out why she's been so pissed at you lately. Nobody gets randomly angry like that for no reason. There's something going on that's causing her to take it out on you. The underlying issue might be with you, the distance, or something else going on in her life. Whatever it is, she needs you for at least comfort. Since we don't know what going on, we can't help out there XP. One thing that works for me no mater what has been something ridiculous like a puppet show :'D. Sometimes a person just needs a good laugh.
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Originally posted by Darth_Taco View PostIn my experience, if you ask an already pissed off woman if she's on her period, she'll go from Mother Teresa to Jeffery Dahmer (Satan if she's actually on her period) faster than you can blink xD. If you really need to know, just keep track of her cycles :P. It's super creepy, but easier than asking.Made it official: 12-01-10
First visit: 3-29-13/4-09-13
Closed the distance: 07-31-13
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I think your gf only needs some personal attention from you.
and reassurance that you still adore her...
best to not talk about this..... and DO things that show her that you care.... like, sending her a funny email or card.
something that makes her feel special.
that should do the trick.The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
Carl Jung (1875 - 1961)
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Originally posted by Darth_Taco View PostIn my experience, if you ask an already pissed off woman if she's on her period, she'll go from Mother Teresa to Jeffery Dahmer (Satan if she's actually on her period) faster than you can blink xD. If you really need to know, just keep track of her cycles :P. It's super creepy, but easier than asking.
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