A break up leads to better things

[Gurl]

So, I've called it quits with Rick. Though I've not told him (which is horrible of me, but I don't feel bad.). The short story is that even after I told him I need to hear from him more than once a week, he still couldn't take the time to text or cal even if I did so first. I need someone who will give me his time, even if its just a quick couple of texts in a day.

The better things... Well I am doing a 100 day challenge to find at least 3 things good about every day. Ten days down and there have been many which I had about twice that many good things and stopped only because I was tired of typing on my phone LOL

The best thing so far is I met someone. I was over Rick before I decided to stop trying...weird but true. Then I started talking to this guy on the same site Rick and I met on. He out of the blue asked me out the next day and I actually accepted. We've moved a bit too fast probably, but it doesn't feel wrong so I am rolling with it. He took me to meet some of his family yesterday and he even went to meet my mom...and he was driving so he decided where we were going He's sweet, but a bit young. I'm 34 to his 29, but it seems to be working so far. We laugh a lot together. He's also intimated that I am moving down to NC when he gets his own place... I've not agreed yet since he knows I can't move until I am sure mom has her money going. Which could be this summer at the latest, though I've not told him that.

What's very weird about this is that it's a calm feeling. Not crazy, I wanna rip your clothes off all the time and so forth. IDK...it feels strange as hell. I know he wants me and I definately want him, but it seems like there is way more to this than I've ever had to deal with... not sure if it's because I moved on so fast and that I made a mistake (lord I hope not) or if this is how it should be for me. But I am gonna run with it for now. Trying my best not to over analyse.

The only bad thing is it takes a good deal of gas ever ytime we hang out. He lives about 35 miles from my house, but we usually end up running all over creation to find something to do. Maybe next time we can hang at his house for a bit if all is chill with his family.

Anyways, thought I'd give those interested an update on me....since I've been pretty silent as of late. Hope you are all doing well in your LDRs/CDRs.

[digitalfever]

Oh that's great (meeting the new guy, the ease of it all and your challenge!) I'm happy that your happy!

[sewbama]

In my (limited) experience, when it's easy, something is right. I'm glad you found something right for you. That's awesome. I wish you luck with it.

[lovinghim4good]

happy that you are happy. sometimes u just gotta do whats best for YOU!

[Belle]

Im glad you find things just gave themselves way so easily. Hope it all works out as it has been, and glad you're happy. Just remember to talk to Rick at some point. Its only fair.

[Tanja]

It's great that you're happy. But you really should tell Rick what's going on. Does he still contact you cause he thinks you're an item?

I've moved on from relationship to another before and it hasn't always been the right choice. That's why this time I've made sure to take time for ME and get to know myself and figure out what I really want. I'm not saying things can't work if you jump from one guy to the next cause I know they can. But just make sure you're doing this for the right reasons. If I remember right you started seeing Rick pretty soon after you finished with the first LD guy? So I guess there's a pattern there or is it just a coincidence?

I know you're not asking for an advice and I'm glad you wrote an update. Just saying, be careful and take care of YOU

[kteire]

It's great that you're happy. But you really should tell Rick what's going on. Does he still contact you cause he thinks you're an item?

This. I think regardless of what went on with the two of you, he deserves to know that you consider your relationship over, and that you've moved on.

[Biddlybiddlybombop]

I'm happy that you've found someone who things seem to go so easily with, but I think it's massively unfair of you to start a new relationship before ending your old one. I think you need to talk to Rick before you make any more moves on this other guy, because Rick will be under the impression that you're his girlfriend who is loyal and faithful... And that's not the truth anymore. It's not fair to be leading him on. Really, you should have told him as soon as you made the decision, regardless of how often he calls and texts.

[Gurl]

I did tell R ick. Though he never responded which is cool.
Tanja, I'd been single for a bit before Rick even though I'd not said anything here. I just dissappeared.
Biddley, while I understand I posted this on the internet I most certainly did not ask for advice and do not like your tone. I never lead anyone on. He knew him not contacting me was a deal breaker. Also, I needed a little time to figure out how to break it off without being a bitch. Not that I owe anyone but him and TB any sort of explanation.

I don't mind unsolicited advice, but I do mind being judged when I've not put the whole story out in order to respect Rick and his tenancy towards being a more private person.

[kteire]

I did tell R ick. Though he never responded which is cool.
Tanja, I'd been single for a bit before Rick even though I'd not said anything here. I just dissappeared.
Biddley, while I understand I posted this on the internet I most certainly did not ask for advice and do not like your tone. I never lead anyone on. He knew him not contacting me was a deal breaker. Also, I needed a little time to figure out how to break it off without being a bitch. Not that I owe anyone but him and TB any sort of explanation.

I don't mind unsolicited advice, but I do mind being judged when I've not put the whole story out in order to respect Rick and his tenancy towards being a more private person.

I didn't have the impression that she was being judgmental... You said yourself in your first post that you hadn't told him that and knew it was bad not to, and people are entitled to agree with you. If you don't give any more information, we don't have anything to go on but what you've said!

[kayla_622]

It's great that you found someone and you're happy but, I think its really wrong of you to leave Rick hanging like this. Even if you did tell him and he never responded. Maybe he didn't actually get your message or something. I would always want a confirmation of some sort that the person I'm breaking up with understands that I am breaking up with them. I also think that if you needed time to figure out "how to break it off without being a bitch" you should have put your new relationship on hold for the few days that you needed with figuring this out.

I agree with kteire though. I don't think Tanja was being judgmental at all. I think the advice she gave was very nice. But, when you come on a forum like this and you make a thread you are going to have to expect judgmental posts either way. People have opinions and they like to share them especially online where you are free to hide behind a computer screen.

Best of luck with everything though. I hope your new relationship works out. It actually sounds like you two are pretty happy with each other.

[Kiyama]

I'm happy that you were able to move on so fast and that you've found happiness so quicly!

However, I agree that you should talk to Rick in person. Like the next time he calls or whatever (if he still will) I don't like text break ups no matter what the circumstances were (with exeptions)

[Biddlybiddlybombop]

It's great that you're happy. But you really should tell Rick what's going on. Does he still contact you cause he thinks you're an item?

I've moved on from relationship to another before and it hasn't always been the right choice. That's why this time I've made sure to take time for ME and get to know myself and figure out what I really want. I'm not saying things can't work if you jump from one guy to the next cause I know they can. But just make sure you're doing this for the right reasons. If I remember right you started seeing Rick pretty soon after you finished with the first LD guy? So I guess there's a pattern there or is it just a coincidence?

I know you're not asking for an advice and I'm glad you wrote an update. Just saying, be careful and take care of YOU

Sorry if I came off bitchy.

Your original post said you hadn't told him, and I based my initial response on that information.

I really am happy for you that you've found someone it feels natural with.

[ioanna]

it's so great to see you happy Jen! you truly deserve it! <3

[Gurl]

I guess I still assume most know enough about me to realize who I am. I didn't mean tanja was being judgmental, and hate that it could have been interpreted like that. She had always been very supportive of every one, even when she disagrees with them.

And, imo, if texting made up 99% of our interactions for the time we were together...well, its good enough for breaking it off. Just how I feel. Normally I wouldn't use texting for such things, but I'm not gonna put that much effort into calling it off with a person who couldn't put any effort into the supposed relationship.

As for people having opinions and/or just agreeing with what I had said myself...I didn't ask for any input and when I see a post without a question, I normally won't post my thoughts since it wasn't asked for. I said I was merely updating those who might want to know...so I really didn't expect anyone to try and give me any advice. Or If anyone did do so, I expected it to be with the respect and caring this place had when I first joined (as tanja did, and I appreciate her thoughts as they were expressed with her usual kindness and tact.).

Didn't mean for this to turn into one of those threads that make me shake my head, so I'm gonna close this before it breaks down into something ugly. Thanks for the remarks, even those that have peeved me off. Even if I don't like what you say, I appreciate you making time to share.