Who to choose... need help

[chizatlauren]

Do they know about each other?

Sorry I can't help much... I ended up choosing neither and found a more wonderful man ^^'

Yes, they know the existence of each other. And they're both letting me decide and they said they're going to wait. I am thinking about choosing neither... but I need a great encouragement so I can do this.

UPDATE: My SO just got into a horrible car accident. He broke an arm and hit his head, and I'm hoping the CT scan results are okay. I'm really worried now. His car is totally ruined and he's lucky to be alive.

[chizatlauren]

However, your current SO actually cried when he told you that his imaginary ex cheated on him. He sounds like a sociopath to me. Seriously, I'd be scared to meet someone like that.

This actually made me scared now TwoThree!!! But it made me laugh a bit too. Yeah, isn't he too great of an actor? I felt so terrible when he said he just had a water bottle beside him to fake his tears.

[kayla_622]

This actually made me scared now TwoThree!!! But it made me laugh a bit too. Yeah, isn't he too great of an actor? I felt so terrible when he said he just had a water bottle beside him to fake his tears.

I'm sorry but..wth. He even faked his tears? He seems like a huge liar to me on all levels. To play with someone's emotions like that is...terrible but, on top of all of that he just happened to get into a car accident while you're in the middle of choosing between him and another guy. I'm sorry but, everything he's doing sounds a bit fishy to me. It makes me think that he's just lying about being in this accident so, that he can use the sympathy to get you to choose him..

Honestly, I don't think you should choose either of these guys. You and your ex broke up for a reason and you moved on with your life. Your current SO seems a bit...crazy. Sorry but that's how he's coming off. Do you really want to stay with a guy who will lie just to play with your emotions?

[sewbama]

Yea, the distance SO sounds a bit scary. It's one thing to feel like a loser for never having a girlfriend and so not to say. It's a completely different thing to make up girlfriends and pain they caused you. He made you cry purely to keep himself from looking bad. That's awful. Selfish. Someone who loves you wouldn't do that.

As for the other guy's lying... I had someone break up with me because my mom threatened them. I had a girlfriend, and my mom is kinda religious, and apparently is not ok with homosexuality. She threatened to charge her with sexual harassment if she didn't break up with me. So she did. It hurt a lot, but I was mad at my mom, not at her. So I kind of get that you aren't upset about his lying.

I still seem to think that if you can't choose then they aren't right. I think you should take some time to yourself. If one of them is the guy you're just supposed to be with, it'll happen anyway. I took about a year off from worrying about men when I was about 19. It was one of the best decisions I made. I learned who I am as a person and I can now make decisions with much more confidence. And you know, I didn't miss out on anything. I made friends. I had great experiences in that time. I have wonderful memories that don't include romance. And now, I'm with the man I am going to spend the rest of my life with, and I know, without a doubt, he is the one for me because I know me.

[Thanh]

I have been following almost every posts of the forum lately and if I remember correctly, your distance SO has had some kind of neglecting to you and made you feel miserable at some points. And according to the descriptions I got here about him, seriously I think there is a problem about this guy.
If you try to follow your heart (as you said, you love him so very much), you might put yourself into a blind relationship. I believe you are fooling yourself as you said, you are pretty sure that he loves you. Are you trying to convince yourself this guy can be a good boyfriend ? I dont think so. Im very sorry. Because he seems to be so childish and crazy. So it CAN'T be a GOOD opportunity you expect.
The ex boyfriend even though has had some troubles for breaking up with you, he seems to be real and serious with you. I think if you prefer to be with someone to being on your own, then a relationship with him is safer because you have known each other long enough. In this case you might say "no, im in love with the american boy".... then it all is your call

[chizatlauren]

I'm sorry but, everything he's doing sounds a bit fishy to me. It makes me think that he's just lying about being in this accident so, that he can use the sympathy to get you to choose him..

Not to defend my SO, but the accident was real. His friends were all posting on his FB wall and photos of his Suzuki SUV surfaced. It was a new car and it was really devastated. I believe that he almost got killed, but I still can't trust him because of his crocodile tears and fake girlfriend. I feel really bad because I trusted him with all my heart, and he really seemed to be a perfect guy at first. What everyone here is saying now is making me open my eyes to the real him. I might really be blind for not seeing the not-so-good traits of him all along.

[Irina_Linn]

Not to defend my SO, but the accident was real. His friends were all posting on his FB wall and photos of his Suzuki SUV surfaced. It was a new car and it was really devastated. I believe that he almost got killed, but I still can't trust him because of his crocodile tears and fake girlfriend. I feel really bad because I trusted him with all my heart, and he really seemed to be a perfect guy at first. What everyone here is saying now is making me open my eyes to the real him. I might really be blind for not seeing the not-so-good traits of him all along.

just dont rush in the hands of your Ex now,please.its easy, as now,feeling betrayed by your SO,its actually normal to try finding support in other people.take your time and just stay by yourself,no relationships for some time

[chizatlauren]

just dont rush in the hands of your Ex now,please.its easy, as now,feeling betrayed by your SO,its actually normal to try finding support in other people.take your time and just stay by yourself,no relationships for some time

Yes, I'm taking my time right now to decide because I know this is a really major decision. I am thinking of staying single until October because that's the time my SO said he'll come to my country. If he will really come as he has promised, then I might consider taking him back in.

I think it's fair enough for me to have some time for myself and still consider him to be important in my life. I believe i'm single, we've talked about it but he doesn't want me to change my relationship status and he still wants to talk to me whenever I am available because he wants me to give him a chance to prove himself. I am not going back to my ex because I think he deserves somebody who really loves him and I think what I feel right now is just regret from our break-up, not love.

I hope my decision is good enough for everyone, and yes I won't change my relationship details here in LFAD. I consider myself to be in a 'mutual understanding' relationship right now with my current SO, but living free from any commitment.

Thank you for all your advice! I hope I made the right decision I'm now going to watch the movies I missed while I was still in a relationship!