lie

[stuart9]

Yesterday during a long talk, I found out that she did had sex partners before. While she gave me feeling she did not had them. She also did say it with a few words. So i feel now like she lie to me right in my face.
I feel totaly shit about it. Like my visit to her was whole fake. Or what things she more "forgot" to tell to me.

[Tooki]

Why exactly did she lie about her former sex partners to you? Were you/are you a virgin?

What kind of words did she say as well. Did she explicitly say that she did not have sex partners before you?

[digitalfever]

What do you mean by "she gave you the feeling"? I think the automatic assumption for anyone over the age of 18 is that they'ved had at least one sexual partner unless they specify otherwise.

I'd say this is no big deal.

[MissButterfly]

Well if you didn't ask and she didn't tell you, it's both of your faults but she has not lied to you. Maybe she was scared to tell you, I don't know how old you are, but generally it's not that big of a deal. If you really weren't sure you should have just outright asked her before. If you're worried about her hiding more things from you just ask her. Honestly, the only way to find out is just confront her with your feelings and that you'd like to know any other things she hasn't told you. There can be many reasons for her not telling you, but if you freak out she's not going to open up more, just hide more. So make sure she feels comfortable and tell her you won't judge her. Communication is really what it's all about! Good luck

[JoeyBug]

Well if you didn't ask and she didn't tell you, it's both of your faults but she has not lied to you. Maybe she was scared to tell you, I don't know how old you are, but generally it's not that big of a deal. If you really weren't sure you should have just outright asked her before. If you're worried about her hiding more things from you just ask her. Honestly, the only way to find out is just confront her with your feelings and that you'd like to know any other things she hasn't told you. There can be many reasons for her not telling you, but if you freak out she's not going to open up more, just hide more. So make sure she feels comfortable and tell her you won't judge her. Communication is really what it's all about! Good luck

All of this basically. Unless she said the word "I have had no sex partners/I'm a virgin" or something to that affect, she hasn't lied, she just hasn't been asked. If it's that big of a worry, then ask her, communicate with her. Ask her about the things you're worried about. Good Communication is the key to LDR's. Good Luck

[snow_girl]

When you assume you only make an ass of u and me.

Just cause you got a feeling from her that she didn't sleep with anyone else doesn't mean in the least she lied to you. Unless a conversation is had then she didn't lie to you. I'm not going to spill my entire life when I meet someone, if a subject never comes up then I don't see the need to talk about it.

[TwoThree]

How dare she have sex with someone else instead of waiting for you her entire life! What a harlot!

[Caitlin2009]

How dare she have sex with someone else instead of waiting for you her entire life! What a harlot!

haha!!



honestly dude, why do you even care how many people she has slept with besides you? its in the past, shes with you. chill out and move on

[Trethsparr]

Yesterday during a long talk, I found out that she did had sex partners before. While she gave me feeling she did not had them. She also did say it with a few words. So i feel now like she lie to me right in my face.
I feel totaly shit about it. Like my visit to her was whole fake. Or what things she more "forgot" to tell to me.

Focus, everyone.

[Black_Halloween]

How dare she have sex with someone else instead of waiting for you her entire life! What a harlot!

[redapple]

Agreeing with tooki, I think we need a bit more information before we can help. A misunderstanding vs a lie is quite a difference. And if I was in the original posters position it would make a huge difference to how I felt. He's not said he's upset with her because she's slept with other people just that he feels he can't trust her now. To the OP: more information please!

[Caitlin2009]

Agreeing with tooki, I think we need a bit more information before we can help. A misunderstanding vs a lie is quite a difference. And if I was in the original posters position it would make a huge difference to how I felt. He's not said he's upset with her because she's slept with other people just that he feels he can't trust her now. To the OP: more information please!

JMO its not that big of a lie, i can think of worse things to lie about and lose your trust with someone

[JoeyBug]

Agreeing with tooki, I think we need a bit more information before we can help. A misunderstanding vs a lie is quite a difference. And if I was in the original posters position it would make a huge difference to how I felt. He's not said he's upset with her because she's slept with other people just that he feels he can't trust her now. To the OP: more information please!

I agree with this, if the issue is trust then that's something that needs to be worked on. A relationship long distance is hard enough, but when there is little to no trust then it is near impossible. OP can we have more information? Why do you feel she lied to you? What other issues are you worried about? Has there been a hint that she is hiding anything at all? Or is it that you feel she was untruthful about one thing and that there must be others? It could be as someone else has suggested that she didn't feel like she could spill her whole life story straight away.

[snow]

I feel like we need answers before we can help you.

Has she told you she was a virgin/has never had sex?
Then it would be a lie and that could be hurtful - I know I'd be hurt if he lied to me about that.

However I don't think you should feel like she has lied to you in other situations because of this. You need to talk to her and let her know how you feel about this situation.

Being lied to sucks and it doesn't matter how "big" the lie is.

[stuart9]

Thanks already for all the responses on it!

I know i have not told you all a lot of details. I first needed to share it with someone. So i putted it her on the forum.
Im going to talk with her when she is back from dinner. Hopefully then it will become a bit more clear for me
And yeah communication is the important thing in a ldr. Only sometimes also very difficult because of the languages.
Then not know how to express yourself in the other language