Getting to SD - what's the plan?

[JoeyBug]

Hi everyone

I was talking with my SO, Scott yesterday, he was waiting to be called into a job interview and he's was upset because he doesn't want to be in the US, he wants to be here. I told him that he needs a way to pay the $$$ for the visa and so it's not a forever thing, just a until we can afford thing. It means him moving back to Kansas after moving to Florida from there in December, which as you can imagine, he is NOT happy about.

Anyway, it got me thinking. What's the plan between you and your SO? If you have a plan to close the distance, are you moving or are they? How did you decide who moves? I know there are some people who have no end date or plan to move to SD for whatever reason, but I wondered about those that do.

We chose for Scott to come here because he has his family over there, but little else. I am chronically ill and disabled and require a lot of care. My best friend, B provides that care and lives with me along with her 8 year old daughter. If I were to move to the US, we would be bankrupt very quickly with health care bills and I also have been the "other parents" in Miss D's life since she was born and would hate to up and leave her. Scott is happy to live here with them and keep the situation the same and so it was decided that he would move here.

How about you guys?

[kattermole]

We're closing the distance in 35 days time (not that we're counting or anything ).

He is moving to me - there are several reasons for this. Firstly, I own my own home whereas he currently lives in a home owned by him and his two siblings (his mother passed away a year or two ago). Him moving to me means it will just be me and him in our own home instead of sharing with others. Secondly, jobs are better up here for both our chosen careers. I would have to take a pay cut to go down there, whereas he will get a substantial pay rise with a job here. Thirdly, I have pets (two cats) which wouldn't get on well in his current home with three dogs! Lastly, my mother had breast cancer a few years ago, and while she's in remission now, I don't want to move further away from her than I currently am. Having lost both his parents in the previous two years, he was so understanding of this and said he wouldn't want me to be any further away from her either. So we settled on him moving here, and that is what he is doing on May 18

We do have it easier than a lot of people as we're in the same country, albeit as far apart as it's possible to get - I'm right at the north, he's right at the south. It's meant we don't have the issue with visas etc, and it's been quite an easy process. We've done seven months LD, it'll be just coming up for nine when he moves here.

[Black_Halloween]

We have a rough mapped out plan but it all depends on where he can find a job after he gets his aviation tech licence. He wants to move up here with me but he also has to go were the work is. So, we'll see If he has to move somewhere else for work i'm prepared to follow him <3

[XxFranticLovexX]

I'm moving to him. Our decision basically made itself because I want out of the state that I live in and he doesn't want to leave the state that he lives in. I'm with him right now, actually. Our plan is for me to look for a job while I'm here and If I can find one I stay.. but if I can't I have to go back and try there again. He doesn't want me to leave though so I plan to try as much as I can and hope for the best.

[JoeyBug]

We're closing the distance in 35 days time (not that we're counting or anything ).

Oooo...congrats!!! That time will fly by!

[JoeyBug]

I'm moving to him. Our decision basically made itself because I want out of the state that I live in and he doesn't want to leave the state that he lives in. I'm with him right now, actually. Our plan is for me to look for a job while I'm here and If I can find one I stay.. but if I can't I have to go back and try there again. He doesn't want me to leave though so I plan to try as much as I can and hope for the best.

Best of luck on finding a job!

[Brieasaurus]

I'm probably going to move there because he has a lot more connections than I do here in Connecticut. However, my parents own very successful businesses here so down the road, we'd probably move back here or move to an entirely different state all together, whatever happens. We're closing the distance in less than a year!

[arrah5]

We have talked about it at length. He has decided that he will move to me. I have a very good job with excellent benefits and decent seniority. His job is amazing, but he can transfer to the branch in my area, apparently with no problems. There aren't any opportunities for me to transfer my job to his area. My kids are getting ready to graduate and he doesn't want to up root them when they are so close, and his kids will be staying in the custody of his ex-wife, unless we decide to fight for them down the road. If we are unable to close the gap in the next 5 years though, there is a possibility of me just going there. He says he can find me a job, and the schools are comparable, for my littlest. But he also knows that I would have a problem living so close to such a big city, I am a small town girl and he was born and raised in the Chicago suburbs.

[Catface]

My SO and I have "plans" to close the distance. We've been going out for nearly seven months and for me that's a little soon for either of us to move across the ocean permanently (although he would probably do it if we had the option at the moment).

Right now he's in school in Belgium and has a year and a half of classes, as well as a semester of practical. So for two years he'll be in Belgium, with the possibility of doing his practical in Canada. Right now we have several tentative plans. I could move there of a year work visa and by the time that's over we would be looking at his practical and if he could do it in Canada. The other option is for me to start making a life here and travel when I can (although I don't love that idea.) Third was for him to quit school and just move but in the interest of his well being I told him UMM NO.

We certainly plan to close the distance. He is happy to come to Canada, and in fact has told me that he would be happy anywhere as long as he has me and an internet connection. I'd be happy to go to him if he doesn't like the idea of Canada though. Not the most concrete answer but it makes me happy to type it!

[kittyo9]

For us, the plan has always been for him to move here-- there was never any debate about it. The job opportunities, educational opportunities, financial opportunities, and quality of life are just better here. He has very little family tying him down and wants to leave his country ASAP.

Recently, though, we've been discussing the possibility of me moving in with him temporarily until he can move here, since we are both graduating at the end of this semester but he could not afford the graduate school fees to apply for the 2013-2014 school year. That's kind of a fun-to-talk-about-but-would-not-work-in-any-dimension plan, though, since I don't speak Spanish and would only make a fraction of what I could be saving up here in the mean time.

[summerkid]

we don't have any plans yet.i think we should meet first, spend a few weeks together and then maybe we can start discussing this. but it's going to be tricky. It would be very hard for him to move to europe because of what he does. He'll be finishing his PhD in the next years, but finiding a job after that will be a pain in the States and almost impossible in EU.
I could technically find a job in the US waaaayyy easier than he can in EU, and though initially it sounded doable .. the more i think about it, the less i like it. There are lots of sketchy things about living in the US, and on top of that it would be extremely far away from my family and friends ( though i do have a few very good friends in the states too including two in the general area we'd be living in).
The more i think about it ... the more impossible it seems and the sadder i get...

[JoeyBug]

we don't have any plans yet.i think we should meet first, spend a few weeks together and then maybe we can start discussing this. but it's going to be tricky. It would be very hard for him to move to europe because of what he does. He'll be finishing his PhD in the next years, but finiding a job after that will be a pain in the States and almost impossible in EU.
I could technically find a job in the US waaaayyy easier than he can in EU, and though initially it sounded doable .. the more i think about it, the less i like it. There are lots of sketchy things about living in the US, and on top of that it would be extremely far away from my family and friends ( though i do have a few very good friends in the states too including two in the general area we'd be living in).
The more i think about it ... the more impossible it seems and the sadder i get...

Sounds like you need a

I'm sure that as your relationship moved on, you'll be able to come up with a way to be in the same country together. It might just mean a little compromise.

[summerkid]

Sounds like you need a

I'm sure that as your relationship moved on, you'll be able to come up with a way to be in the same country together. It might just mean a little compromise.

thank you. i hope so... but it might be years from now and i really hate the distance ....yeah.. the usual story we share on this forum . i have been ofcused on the getting together in person until now, but since that is almost here.. the reality of what next is kind of hitting me.

[Louise_B]

Our first meet is in 69 days .. But we have been falling for each other the last 4 years so for us we kinda jumped in the deep end and started discussing our future as after 4 years straight we know its all we want.

Because my SO is a military soldier and his years in the army doesn't end until 2015, I will be moving to the states as there's no way in hell we would want to be away from each other. We're planning to get married by 2015 also

Justin's happy for me to move over and then look for a job because he will earn enough money to support the two of us. But for me I have and always will be an independent woman, so when it all starts getting close ill be looking out for jobs for sure! I am not scared of I haven't even thought twice about marrying this amazing guy whose walke into my life. His 23 I'm going on 22 and there's nothing more than I want than to be his wife! I'm awfully proud of him!

Other than that .. 69 FRIGGING DAYS UNTIL OUR MEET!!!!!

[JoeyBug]

Our first meet is in 69 days .. But we have been falling for each other the last 4 years so for us we kinda jumped in the deep end and started discussing our future as after 4 years straight we know its all we want.

Because my SO is a military soldier and his years in the army doesn't end until 2015, I will be moving to the states as there's no way in hell we would want to be away from each other. We're planning to get married by 2015 also

Justin's happy for me to move over and then look for a job because he will earn enough money to support the two of us. But for me I have and always will be an independent woman, so when it all starts getting close ill be looking out for jobs for sure! I am not scared of I haven't even thought twice about marrying this amazing guy whose walke into my life. His 23 I'm going on 22 and there's nothing more than I want than to be his wife! I'm awfully proud of him!

Other than that .. 69 FRIGGING DAYS UNTIL OUR MEET!!!!!

Whooo!!! 69 days

I know what you mean by jumping in at the deep end. Scott and I always knew he would come here and that we would probably get married after only a few months of talking once we reconnected. We saw it as people don't just drop back into your lives without a reason..