What if you couldn't close the distance?

[ams.201220]

We're planning on closing the distance in October/November-ish of this year. But it may not work out like we've planned. It really depends on where he gets stationed. If it doesn't work out this time, we're looking at another three years of long distance. I'm honestly preparing myself for any obstacles/challenges awaiting us; I figured at least this way I won't get disappointed.

[SoConfused]

I have so much respect for those of you who have been able to nurture your LDRs for multiple years without a solid plan for closing the distance. We don't have a solid plan, but he initially stated that he never wanted to live in CA again, so I would have to be the one to move. That seemed impossible to me because I have a fantastic government job, which will ultimately provide me with a generous pension. In addition, I have a teenage son that has asked me to please not move until he's married, lol. Now, my SO has decided that he's willing to move out here, we're just waiting to work out some kinks, although we don't have a date in mind. I think he's waiting for me to obtain my next promotion, as moving himself and his son out here without a job is nerve racking at best.

I initially went into our relationship thinking that we could make it work until I could retire (at least 12 years!), but honestly, as much as I love him, I wouldn't be able to wait that long. Marriage isn't a concern of mine, and additional children probably aren't in the cards (even though, if that were to transpire, he's already admitted he'd be here in a heartbeat), but I really desire the constant connection found with physically being with the one I love. For now, we're making it work, and I'm not at the point that I feel we have an expiration date, but waiting another decade seems overwhelming.

[BabyGund]

I know there is no reasonable expectation of us closing the distance. There's one huge factor on his end and...that simply is what it is. If that factor changes, it would make things much easier, though admittedly, he's lived in his province almost his entire life - I don't really see him giving that up, especially at his age. I'm an army brat, so moving is not that huge of an issue, but I also have a daughter who very much loves her daddy, who currently lives 2 miles from us. That's the huge factor on my end.

At this point, I don't worry too much about closing the distance, as much as just getting to the first visit and even that is proving impossible right now. So I really need to step back and take it one day at a time.