Hi, everyone. I know I've only been here for a little while, but today I got some news that I cannot share with anyone, including my SO. My day started like any other. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, checked my phone for messages, checked my email, and there it was.. A letter from the Florida Board of Nursing. Guys, I got my Florida RN license! 
That being said, I'd love to hear insights and advice about my situation and about the journey ahead.
This is a huge step in the direction of being CD; however, I can't seem to reconcile my feelings over this. It came a whole month earlier than my worst case scenario. I know that should make me happy, but I can't bring myself to even smile over it. I live with my very young, recently graduated-from-nursing-school sister. She just got her first paycheck two weeks ago. While she has an SO here, all she has to share the financial responsibility with is me. We have never lived apart. Even when our parents separated. Even when we had to relocate internationally multiple times. At 20 and with this job, she really has the means to live on her own, but she's terrified and so am I! In this economy, it's so hard to make ends meet. We were both brought up to be practical, so we never left our family home, even when our entire family left us (again). I just took over the relatively cheap payments while she was in school, and now we're sharing it. I've broached the subject of me leaving, and while she wholly wanted me to be happy, I saw the fear and worry overwhelm her for days after, and this was before she even got her first paycheck! I hated putting that burden on her shoulders. I hated that she was calculating the best way to survive once I left. Should she move out to an apartment? Can she afford it? I couldn't stand her worrying like that!
I admit, I have been unhappy in the last few months. I felt resentful of all the responsibility, of having to care for an entire house, of the fact that I wasn't saving a dime despite all my hard work, and, most importantly, of not being able to explore my budding relationship with this wonderful man I met in the summer (yes, my SO). We had to be apart before we could really get to know each other. I thank God that we both stuck it through, but, as you all know, LDR can awaken your darkest demons. My depression was so severe at one point that I was afraid for my own safety.
So I can't tell her yet. She thinks I won't be leaving till July, if at all, so I'll let her enjoy her financial freedom for a while longer. I know I can afford to do this because, really, my little sister has all been frugal. She will always put money away, whether I'm worrying her with my departure or not.
As for my SO, I can't tell him without getting him excited. We've been waiting for this for a very long time! I don't know how to share that excitement with him yet when I'm so worried about my sister. So I think I'll just quietly start applying to jobs to see where I stand in the Florida nursing market. While I will move there however way I can, I am determined to make this a professional move as well. It's vital to my happiness and to increase my relationship's chances of being successful.
Or do you think I should tell him anyway, try to include him in my decision-making? He's very "you do what is best for you, baby". He hates the idea of imposing his desires on me, and he takes everything I say to heart.
Oh blah, just typing this all up got me all excited now! I'm going CD, guys! ^_^
That being said, I'd love to hear insights and advice about my situation and about the journey ahead. This is a huge step in the direction of being CD; however, I can't seem to reconcile my feelings over this. It came a whole month earlier than my worst case scenario. I know that should make me happy, but I can't bring myself to even smile over it. I live with my very young, recently graduated-from-nursing-school sister. She just got her first paycheck two weeks ago. While she has an SO here, all she has to share the financial responsibility with is me. We have never lived apart. Even when our parents separated. Even when we had to relocate internationally multiple times. At 20 and with this job, she really has the means to live on her own, but she's terrified and so am I! In this economy, it's so hard to make ends meet. We were both brought up to be practical, so we never left our family home, even when our entire family left us (again). I just took over the relatively cheap payments while she was in school, and now we're sharing it. I've broached the subject of me leaving, and while she wholly wanted me to be happy, I saw the fear and worry overwhelm her for days after, and this was before she even got her first paycheck! I hated putting that burden on her shoulders. I hated that she was calculating the best way to survive once I left. Should she move out to an apartment? Can she afford it? I couldn't stand her worrying like that!
I admit, I have been unhappy in the last few months. I felt resentful of all the responsibility, of having to care for an entire house, of the fact that I wasn't saving a dime despite all my hard work, and, most importantly, of not being able to explore my budding relationship with this wonderful man I met in the summer (yes, my SO). We had to be apart before we could really get to know each other. I thank God that we both stuck it through, but, as you all know, LDR can awaken your darkest demons. My depression was so severe at one point that I was afraid for my own safety.
So I can't tell her yet. She thinks I won't be leaving till July, if at all, so I'll let her enjoy her financial freedom for a while longer. I know I can afford to do this because, really, my little sister has all been frugal. She will always put money away, whether I'm worrying her with my departure or not.
As for my SO, I can't tell him without getting him excited. We've been waiting for this for a very long time! I don't know how to share that excitement with him yet when I'm so worried about my sister. So I think I'll just quietly start applying to jobs to see where I stand in the Florida nursing market. While I will move there however way I can, I am determined to make this a professional move as well. It's vital to my happiness and to increase my relationship's chances of being successful.
Or do you think I should tell him anyway, try to include him in my decision-making? He's very "you do what is best for you, baby". He hates the idea of imposing his desires on me, and he takes everything I say to heart.
Oh blah, just typing this all up got me all excited now! I'm going CD, guys! ^_^
Okay, so this is what he knows and wants. He wants the distance closed by June. He knows a hint of my feelings about leaving my sister. He knows I'm actively working towards a professional move. He and I both thought the FL license won't come through for at least a couple of weeks more. Aaaah, I'm suddenly so giddy about this. I can't believe it's almost here!
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