The "Honeymoon Phase"

[JoeyBug]

I love the honeymoon phase, I really do, it's my favorite part of a relationship, even though it's distracting, hormonal and crazy I think that's pretty much how I define it, that first few months of rainbows and unicorns, where everything is new and cute and perfect. I don't think it as a set time limit, I think your hormones settle down and real life creeps in, it's a gradual process, but I think that yeah, you do have to leave that phase, because the real world and reality has to rear it's ugly head. The way he farts in his sleep, or how you pick your teeth in a restaurant isn't gonna be adorable forever That doesn't mean the romance has to die, or the butterflies disappear, it just means you settle in and get comfortable, and every couple internally defines that differently. You start to be comfortable with yourself and with each other. Sometimes, that's not always a good thing, and the relationship breaks down once you get to really see that person as who they really are.

Yeah, I do think it can't advance without leaving the phase. Those first few months are kinda ridiculous and not real, you can't go around floating in your daydreams forever. I see MANY posts on here from people who are distressed because they skyped for 12 hours straight everyday in the beginning, but now it's down to a couple of hours a day. Or, their partner dared go out with their friends and hasn't texted them the entire time, like they did in the first weeks of a relationship. It's hard to feel that way, when the relationship loses it's newness, and it's definitely an adjustment, but it's also normal. People have to get shit done, but that doesn't mean they love you less, at that stage, they love you MORE, but they've still gotta get back to taking care of life.

Again, don't confuse the honeymoon stage and romance, they're different. You can be madly, stupidly in love still, and even more so, because now you've integrated your life as a couple into normal life. Just my opinion though!

I agree with this 100% Couldn't have put it better myself.

[TwoThree]

Honeymoon phase was lovely. It was really nice feeling giddy for no reason but remembering that he exists. Unfortunately it was too short for us. I'm pretty certain we were past that phase even before we met in person for the first time. We went through a lot of shit before we were able to finally see each other, so that put a damper on things.

[marbear31]

I think I have to define "honeymoon phase" first. I'm don't buy into the whole, "Once the honeymoon phase is gone, welcome to the ball and chain station!" you hear about so much. In fact, I remember when I was thirteen or so, and getting all googly-eyed over my first crush, something deep inside me awakened, and I promised to myself and to God that once I was in a relationship with my future husband (if that turned out to be my path), that I would give my whole self to the relationship, all the time--in essence, never be afraid to be vulnerable. As I've grown older, I've remolded this intention to include obvious necessities, such as, well, life , but I still maintain that intention of giving my whole self over. Now that I have the chance to act upon that intention with Stephen--finally--I realize that love is more than I ever dreamed possible. I don't want that feeling to "end."

So, for me, the honeymoon stage lasts as long as you want it to. "Novelty" ends. "Romantic" gestures come and go. But the "honeymoon stage" is supposed to be one of the most heightened times of your marriage/partnership, right? I think I'd like to keep that around for the rest of my life.

[emsimes]

Marbear31-
I couldn't have said it better myself!

[Jess!]

I think I have to define "honeymoon phase" first. I'm don't buy into the whole, "Once the honeymoon phase is gone, welcome to the ball and chain station!" you hear about so much. In fact, I remember when I was thirteen or so, and getting all googly-eyed over my first crush, something deep inside me awakened, and I promised to myself and to God that once I was in a relationship with my future husband (if that turned out to be my path), that I would give my whole self to the relationship, all the time--in essence, never be afraid to be vulnerable. As I've grown older, I've remolded this intention to include obvious necessities, such as, well, life , but I still maintain that intention of giving my whole self over. Now that I have the chance to act upon that intention with Stephen--finally--I realize that love is more than I ever dreamed possible. I don't want that feeling to "end."

So, for me, the honeymoon stage lasts as long as you want it to. "Novelty" ends. "Romantic" gestures come and go. But the "honeymoon stage" is supposed to be one of the most heightened times of your marriage/partnership, right? I think I'd like to keep that around for the rest of my life.

I really liked what you wrote!
I think it all comes down to do the effort. I mean, when you stop making the effort to do nice gifts, express love, .... then that phase can go quickly. But I feel different things from what I read in this thread. I feeling so comfortable with my SO, but at the same time, I do take time of my day to make him nice gifts, presents, surprises,...! I make the constant effort of making him sure of how much I love him and how grateful I am that he is in my life. Having this in mind I think it's all up to the couple I want to give myself to him, all of me, and I will never stop doing this...

[Verojoon]

Like everyone has said, I really think it depends on your definition of the honeymoon phase... My mother keeps on telling me that I have to remember that I'm in the honeymoon phase blah blah blah which I find quite odd after almost 3 years... And I really think that in many ways we have left the honeymoon phase (the whole butterfly hormonal thing with the newness...) but some of it comes back every now and then and this is something I never experienced in any other relationship!

I think for us it's a cycle. The first honeymoon phase was special of course, it had that excitement that only novelty can bring. But we've gone through at least two other honeymoon periods, when somehow we just got more loved up and romantic than before. It last for a while, then I guess life catches up again and we're 'normal' again for a while.

I do feel like honeymoon periods usually happen after some relationship upgrade - like after we met each other's parents, after we made plans for the holidays, etc.

yes! We have entered this so often! Just yesterday we seemed to enter another honeymoon phase, where he became super affectionate and I got all butterflies and squirminess and just wanting him now... It also happens for us after events... and often after we have a communication breakthrough.. like after we've talked our way through a fight or something...

Honeymoon phase was lovely. It was really nice feeling giddy for no reason but remembering that he exists. Unfortunately it was too short for us. I'm pretty certain we were past that phase even before we met in person for the first time. We went through a lot of shit before we were able to finally see each other, so that put a damper on things.

We also went through a lot before we met... and the the newness honeymoon stage was long gone... but that was really amazing all in itself... and brought on this other pseudo honeymoon phase that cycles in and out...

[Ahava]

Honeymoon phase still going on strong

[JoeyBug]

I think I have to define "honeymoon phase" first. I'm don't buy into the whole, "Once the honeymoon phase is gone, welcome to the ball and chain station!" you hear about so much. In fact, I remember when I was thirteen or so, and getting all googly-eyed over my first crush, something deep inside me awakened, and I promised to myself and to God that once I was in a relationship with my future husband (if that turned out to be my path), that I would give my whole self to the relationship, all the time--in essence, never be afraid to be vulnerable. As I've grown older, I've remolded this intention to include obvious necessities, such as, well, life , but I still maintain that intention of giving my whole self over. Now that I have the chance to act upon that intention with Stephen--finally--I realize that love is more than I ever dreamed possible. I don't want that feeling to "end."

So, for me, the honeymoon stage lasts as long as you want it to. "Novelty" ends. "Romantic" gestures come and go. But the "honeymoon stage" is supposed to be one of the most heightened times of your marriage/partnership, right? I think I'd like to keep that around for the rest of my life.

^^ I also think this is a really good way to put it. I love the "honeymoon" stage, but I also believe that it happens on and off throughout the relationship, it's not just a phase that happens at the beginning and then never again...I've been with Scott for nearly 3 years and we're entering out third or fourth honeymoon phase! Always love them