Wedding Bell Blues

[Heavenly_Love12]

Is/has anyone else having/had the wedding bell blues? What I mean by "wedding bell blues" is that so many people around you are getting engaged and married, you are not, but wish that you could and/or are slightly jealous of those who are.

I'm currently going through this and it's driving me CRAZY! Anyone have any advice about how to overcome this?

[Dezface]

I have a really conflicted view of marriage since I've been married before. I admit, I start daydreaming when I read all the wedding blogs and posts. I start wishing I was planning a wedding and picking out rings. But then my cynical side kicks in and tells me I've been there, done that and I'd be a fool to do it again. Of course, that being said, I'm pretty certain we'll get married someday. I'm just a pretty big mess on the topic.

Buuuuuut. I definitely have baby blues! I'm slightly jealous of every pregnant person I know. Which is quite a few people. The way I deal with it is to just remind myself that I will have what they have, just not this moment. And that when I'm finally there, I'll be so happy that I get to experience it at that time, and it's not already over. Oh, and I remind myself that I'm free to do what I like, when I like, no babysitter required Perhaps you could console yourself with all the money you're NOT dishing out on a wedding? I guess everything is all in how you look at it.

[summerkid]

I wouldn't call it the wedding bell blues.. I am just tired of people getting married and engaged around me. I don't want to get married myself. And anyways... I'm going to be very cynical.. but think of all the divorces in a few years ....

[dglynn77]

I had it a few months ago! EVERYONE was getting engaged/married.
I'm back to normal now lol

[MattDavies86]

I am ever so slightly! But I still won't rush into it lol

[dem&ter]

HOLA! I was about commenting on your blog then found out you also made this thread, soo, I better say something on here! Haha, yeah, weird decision.

First of all, you are not THE ONLY person who is having this blues, me too as well! Since the summer holiday is also coming over I just received already 3 wedding invitations around. I'm not saying I'm not happy getting to know a lot of my friends are getting married, and/or having their first babies. I'm excited about them. But deep inside, haha, just like you, I keep asking myself, 'whew... When my turn will be?' With all of those plans for having more degree, running some business, and another traumatic personal thing, I still want a family myself.

fact, if I keep myself on my right track, I won't be ready for having a family till I'm 27 or 28. It's all planned though. The reason is, if I want a family or a marriage, that must be a good one. I don't want in any rush for having it just because I feel I'm already left behind another people for achieving this life span race. I want to be mature enough when I'm getting through it, financially settled, and must be with the right person. That's all. I'm not trying to idealizing or anything. But it's good for me to prepare the best thing for my life.

Eh, don't forget about be grateful about what you're having right now, sometimes it helps too!

[kteire]

I'm mostly sad because lots of people around me are getting engaged, and I'm not close enough with any of them to go to the weddings, haha. I am a bit sad I won't be getting married for a few years, but we're not in a place to do that yet, and I want to be finished my degree first.

I'm actually more envious of the people I know who are getting puppies! I can wait for marriage and babies, but I need a dog. Once we buy a flat we might get one...

[Zephii]

Personally, I find that when I'm happy other people can quite easily bring me down with their negativity, their jealousy. And it pisses me off because I've worked hard for what I have, and it's like a pay-off for all the shitty things in my past. So, knowing how I feel when roles are reversed, I do away with jealousy. I choose to be happy for those other people... not just "I'm happy for you but I wish it were me" happy, but genuinely "It's made my day to see a friend doing so well" happy. I don't want, even for a moment, to bring other people down, I want to celebrate with them. Hopefully some of that ramble made sense.

If not: No. I've never experienced this. I separate my experience from everyone else in my own mind, and I know it's not a race.
Besides that, I never really understood why people cared so much about getting married. I never had a "dream wedding" in my imagination, and if we had skipped the whole marriage thing and gone straight to popping out the babies, I don't think it would have occurred to me to mind.

[JoeyBug]

I've had it in the past, never expressed it to anyone though. I've mostly kept it to myself because I know I wouldn't want someone saying that to me (or at least a handful of people could, but the others no way!)

I've also experienced/had baby blues, like others a lot of my friends are expecting their first and it's just like That's Great!!! But inside I'm like, will it ever happen to me? Again, I don't voice these feelings to people. It passes, as does the wedding blues and soon, one day, it'll be you hopefully (if that's what you want of course!)

[katiecat08]

Yep, I know I am. People my age are getting married left and right and two girls i graduated with just had their 2nd child. Our reunion is coming up so I'll feel even more like this soon.:/ I've always dreamed of my wedding day.

[TwoThree]

Yes, in the sense that I'm fed up with all the wedding invites I get ('tis the season) and having to find clothes to wear, and having to dress up, and go there, and get bored, etc.

I don't like weddings.

[Malaga]

I don't like weddings.

Me neither. At least not the way they're done here. They go on an on for the whole day, it's a big drama, so many customs to observe, everyone gets drunk, there has to be a brawl, you're expected to give a lot of money or a very expensive present etc. I hate it. English weddings are OK, the ones I attended, they're basically just another party, although more expensive than usual. The ceremony is usually in the afternoon, then dinner at 6ish, then disco, the whole thing is over by 1am, you can wake up the next morning fresh as a daisy. (Our local weddings go on until 4-5 or the morning.) And gifts are reasonable too, compared to home.
The biggest problem still remains though, everyone asking us "sooooo when is your turn??" So annoying. And I honestly don't care for my own ceremony once the time comes, I really just want to get it over with.

I know we'll get married when the time is right, at the moment I'm quite happy with the way things are going, we both have other things that require immediate attention. I get impatient sometimes but it's only because of the pressure I'm under and virtually everyone feeling the need to offer their opinion on when we should marry. I hate that, people messing with my mind, projecting their values and opinions onto me. I'm not burdened by proposal or wedding, but people openly assume I'm waiting for him and it's so offensive really.

[lademoiselle]

I think the best thing anyone can do is try not to compare their life to other people's We all do it to an extent, but there's a difference between wanting something for yourself, and being jealous of others for having the same thing when you don't (not saying you do that, of course! I'm thinking out loud more than anything). No two people's situations are the same, so at the end of the day it's really pointless. I know I'm young, in the sense that I have no reason to worry about not settling down right now, but not too long ago the fact that others were doing so did make me a bit green-eyed. At some point though I started to rationalise my feelings, reminding myself of why now wouldn't be a good time for my SO and I to get married, plus all the good stuff we already had anyway. And after a while I simply didn't feel jealous any more.

You can be secure in the knowledge that when the time is right for you and your SO, you'll be the one walking down the aisle You still have plenty of time in the scheme of things, so until then you can afford to make the most of your life as it is at the moment!

[TwoThree]

The biggest problem still remains though, everyone asking us "sooooo when is your turn??" So annoying.

Haha! I relate a little bit differently to that. They don't ask me when my turn is, they offer a prayer for my turn to come soon (implying: "you poor, desperate spinster")

Warms the heart!

[13000km]

I'm actually more envious of the people I know who are getting puppies! I can wait for marriage and babies, but I need a dog. Once we buy a flat we might get one...

This was me after I got married. We have to WAIT to get a puppy?! Why?! My husband ended up giving in when we found the perfect puppy. We paid the deposit to the breeder on valentines day (2 months after wedding) and finally brought him home a little more than a month later.

I never really got wedding bell blues because I was one of the firsts of my friends to get married. Now my friends are starting to all get married at the same time around me it's actually pretty exciting! I already have 4 invitations on my fridge and save the dates for 2 December weddings. And this isn't including my Facebook friends! I catch myself thinking every once in awhile "oh this is a cool idea I should've done that at my wedding"