Need advice asap??! SO thinking of meeting me next weekend?

[katiecat08]

OKay, so my SO and I were thinking of meeting for the first time next weekend. My mom is very opinionated and pretty much hates I even started an LDR. I really dont want to have tell them hes coming, but I cant wait any longer to meet him. My SO thinks I should call my dad and tell him hes on his way after being at his grandparents in SC. I know either way my mom will be furious and I dont really care anymore if shes mad, its my relationship. Any advice for us please? Im 23.

[Kiyama]

I would give her the heads up. Calmly talk to her and tell her that you need her support, even if she doesn't always agree with your decisions. Tell her you really need to try this out because your feelings are so strong and that you want her to accept this. Not in a pleading, asking way but in a friendly informative way as "this is how it is and I'm not going to change my mind".
I hope your mum will come to accept it. And yay for you being able to meet your SO

[Brieasaurus]

I know either way my mom will be furious and I dont really care anymore if shes mad, its my relationship.

There you go. It doesn't matter how you break the news so just tell her that he's coming, end of story. I'm assuming you still live with your parents and that's why you're worried? If that's the case then and she disapproves, you're royally screwed. If not then I hope you have everything situated already in terms of where your SO is staying/getting around/etc. Hopefully you've been together for a while and skyped and all that.

[Jazi]

I know either way my mom will be furious and I dont really care anymore if shes mad, its my relationship.

There you go. It doesn't matter how you break the news so just tell her that he's coming, end of story. I'm assuming you still live with your parents and that's why you're worried? If that's the case then and she disapproves, you're royally screwed. If not then I hope you have everything situated already in terms of where your SO is staying/getting around/etc. Hopefully you've been together for a while and skyped and all that.

I agree with Brie. You should just tell your mum and be straight with her.. that is if you REALLY don't care, as you said.

In the end she deserves to know, at least SOMEONE should know where you are for your own safety.. and you probably should get her to meet your SO too, it might give her a chance to see that it is real.

Just tell her, if you don't want to ask her just be straight up and honest, if she starts to give you her opinion then say "I am doing this for me, you deserved to know and I respect you and that's why I'm telling you, but I don't want to hear negative views' .. or something along those lines.

Good luck.

[dragonlady]

what everybody says tell her you want to try to make this happen that you know she loves you and wants you to be safe and such but that you are going to do this

[temporaryuser]

You dont have to ask their permission so long as you are looking for him to stay in their house. "I just wanted to let you know that he is coming for a visit. he will be staying _____ and I will be spending time with him. i would like for you both to meet him, but if you dont want to that is your choice"
If you are looking to have him stay in their house, then that is a whole nother story that would require their prior approval

[katiecat08]

Here's the thing, he will be staying at a hotel. I live with my sister. But I'm completely terrified to tell my parents. Well meet in a public place in daylight. He thinks I should tell my dad the day he arrives here so they wont have a choice but to accept it. I'm desperately wanting to be with him and I know my mom will be furious.

[Jazi]

Here's the thing, he will be staying at a hotel. I live with my sister. But I'm completely terrified to tell my parents. Well meet in a public place in daylight. He thinks I should tell my dad the day he arrives here so they wont have a choice but to accept it. I'm desperately wanting to be with him and I know my mom will be furious.

Well then you don't need their permission if you don't live with them. I think they still need to know though, straight up and honest. I also think that SOMEONE needs to know the details of your plans - your sister or a close friend perhaps? it's important for someone to know.. And I'm sure your SO is a trustworthy guy but it's just a precaution you should be taking when meeting someone new. I met my SO alone at the airport to pick him up, and I drove him back to my house.. but my parents KNEW when/where I was planning to be. it's easy to tell someone and in that 0000000.01% chance that something bad could happen.. well, you'd be glad you told someone!