I don't even know where to start. In the beginning my SO was such a sweet, attentive person. A real gentleman. I really liked this one guy but he let me down so hard, and my SO picked me up again. I was so insecure about everything but he's helped me come a very long way. He wrote me poems and sang to me, sent me letters and sometimes even a gift. He visited me twice and both times it was amazing. Everything was perfect. Last summer I visited him before flying back together to study here. Witnessing him at his own house was already quite different, he's extremely messy. I didn't care that much back then.
Last August, we closed the distance, but he lives in his own apartment on campus a couple of minutes away. Since then, it's just gone downhill. He never goes outside, he doesn't like the city. We never go out to eat or to a movie, things I'd love to do with him. He games a lot, showers only once a week, wears the same clothes every day, and doesn't want to change. Making out is suddenly gross, not to even begin to speak about making love. I am a high maintenance person, get stressed easily and break down more often than I would like. I get that that is very hard for him but he's been so good about it before.
Little things are starting to get on my nerves. He never takes the initiative to message me, always just comes home and starts gaming without even thinking of me I guess. He never wants to come over here because he's so comfy. If I ask him if I should come over he just says 'It's up to you' or something like that. To me that just feels like he's super indifferent to having me around. He doesn't really care if I'm there or at my own house. I just feel like I'm not a priority anymore. He doesn't have any friends at university, just online. He always forgets to eat, never does his dishes.
I guess I just needed to get it out there. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm starting to reach the limit of what I can take. Every time I bring a thing up that bothers me he just waves it off like me being a dramaqueen again. Makes me wonder if I am.... I talked about it with him today and he told me that the person I was looking for probably does not even exist. That I won't find what I am looking for in anyone. I just feel like it's a matter of time before we're breaking up and that is driving me crazy. He seems unwilling to change, and I don't even know what I concretely want him to change. Which is unfair to him, because if I can't tell him he can't improve. I told him that it's good he's going home for two months, and then I visit him in Minnesota. If nothing improves after that, I think it's better to just move on, but the thought terrifies me. I've been unable to eat or sleep from it the past two days.
Any advice or thoughts would be very much appreciated...
Last August, we closed the distance, but he lives in his own apartment on campus a couple of minutes away. Since then, it's just gone downhill. He never goes outside, he doesn't like the city. We never go out to eat or to a movie, things I'd love to do with him. He games a lot, showers only once a week, wears the same clothes every day, and doesn't want to change. Making out is suddenly gross, not to even begin to speak about making love. I am a high maintenance person, get stressed easily and break down more often than I would like. I get that that is very hard for him but he's been so good about it before.
Little things are starting to get on my nerves. He never takes the initiative to message me, always just comes home and starts gaming without even thinking of me I guess. He never wants to come over here because he's so comfy. If I ask him if I should come over he just says 'It's up to you' or something like that. To me that just feels like he's super indifferent to having me around. He doesn't really care if I'm there or at my own house. I just feel like I'm not a priority anymore. He doesn't have any friends at university, just online. He always forgets to eat, never does his dishes.
I guess I just needed to get it out there. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm starting to reach the limit of what I can take. Every time I bring a thing up that bothers me he just waves it off like me being a dramaqueen again. Makes me wonder if I am.... I talked about it with him today and he told me that the person I was looking for probably does not even exist. That I won't find what I am looking for in anyone. I just feel like it's a matter of time before we're breaking up and that is driving me crazy. He seems unwilling to change, and I don't even know what I concretely want him to change. Which is unfair to him, because if I can't tell him he can't improve. I told him that it's good he's going home for two months, and then I visit him in Minnesota. If nothing improves after that, I think it's better to just move on, but the thought terrifies me. I've been unable to eat or sleep from it the past two days.
Any advice or thoughts would be very much appreciated...
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