is he doubting me?

[LadyDaemon]

yes I am upset, because I want to feel like I'm a part of his life and okay, maybe people dont go into details, but if you really wanna share something, who will you share it with if not with your lover?

and i'm saying it again, im not insecure, I just wanna feel like I'm a part of his life to the point that he has no problem sharing all with me. I can't feel close to him if we just talk and talk and it's never much about him, I can never know him good like that.

It is one thing to want to be apart of his life and know about his day,it's another to push to the point that it aggravates him. Sometimes people just want to tell you in a generalized fashion what they did with their day and be done with it. If he wants to share more detail on those things then that is up to him. You need to be respectful of the fact that not everyone is the same when it comes to sharing details,just because you're his gf does not entitle you to know every single little detail about his day. Let him come to you and tell you on his own in more detail if HE wants to. Don't push him. Men HATE being pushed about anything.

Also,not to be harsh,just being realistic about it,but judging from your post you're very insecure about it whether you want admit to it or not. You're essentially forcing your way into every aspect of his life as though your happiness and peace of mind about your relationship depended on it. That's not exactly what I call secure or healthy for your relationship for that matter. Even though you're a couple you both also need to maintain individuality to a point too. I'm pretty sure you don't always have time or always want to sit down with everyone you know and give a detailed play by play of every day of your life. Well,he doesn't either.

okay, he's rational, but you see he is already limiting me, he made me stop talking to guy friends, not go out alone or much at all, not look guys on street, not say a word if someone says something...it's not exa*ctly me being 'free to not yet give up all for him' and he goes on and on how i would have to change religion if i want to be with him and move and learn language for his parents t accept me, I think it's right I 'complain' when he does all that and them booms me with statement of insecurity as to wait what happens when we meet and that it's just internet.


And now when we had a talk as to why he didn't book a ticket on his free week, he started raging, saying I'm eating his nerves, saying if i think he shits money, yes, literally he said it and he started on and on if i want to cancel my ticket, that he'll burn it.( and its not the 1st time he tells me 'to not come' indirectly, he did it many times in anger then says again he wants me to come and he loves me and all that) That is all okay? Its not like any of these hurt me, right?
and even if I paid my own ticket I still think he would have same excuses and again I come to a point where I have to do so much when he would do so little.
I told him this behaviour he gave me after asking and becoming all cranky is not normal and doesn't exactly show 'how much he wants to meet me' and he said so what if I act like that, like I'm the idiot.

ALL of this concerns me. Not necessarily because it's about the ticket,but because of his level of control he seems to have. He doesn't own you. Let me repeat that again,HE DOES NOT OWN YOU. None of this to me screams rational. It screams raging control freak. Nobody has a right to tell you to stop talking to your friends male or female unless they are a danger to you or to your relationship. He does not have the right to tell you not to go out or to not to go out alone or to change your religion. If you do this it will make your relationship bad in the long run. I've never once seen a situation like that end well,it will make you resent him. He needs to think about that. It's not just his culture,family,land of origin or friends that matter,it's yours too. It is never ok for your SO to make you alienate yourself from your friends,family,religion,culture etc. for them . His parents are not in this relationship,you two are. I understand that parental acceptance is extremely important in some cultures but that does not give him a right to make you change all of that for his parents acceptance. You need to decide if all of this are things you're really willing to accept and deal with to be in this relationship.

I also think you both need to figure out better ways to have arguments. There are constructive adult ways to argue and get a point across and a non-constructive way to argue and get a point across. You both need to talk rationally with each other and be adults about it when you tell each other when the other is doing something the other doesn't like. He doesn't need to talk to you like that,nerves or not. I understand a little bickering back and forth before a visit,but what I don't understand is being an outright jerkoff.

[Black_Halloween]

It is one thing to want to be apart of his life and know about his day,it's another to push to the point that it aggravates him. Sometimes people just want to tell you in a generalized fashion what they did with their day and be done with it. If he wants to share more detail on those things then that is up to him. You need to be respectful of the fact that not everyone is the same when it comes to sharing details,just because you're his gf does not entitle you to know every single little detail about his day. Let him come to you and tell you on his own in more detail if HE wants to. Don't push him. Men HATE being pushed about anything.

Also,not to be harsh,just being realistic about it,but judging from your post you're very insecure about it whether you want admit to it or not. You're essentially forcing your way into every aspect of his life as though your happiness and peace of mind about your relationship depended on it. That's not exactly what I call secure or healthy for your relationship for that matter. Even though you're a couple you both also need to maintain individuality to a point too. I'm pretty sure you don't always have time or always want to sit down with everyone you know and give a detailed play by play of every day of your life. Well,he doesn't either.



ALL of this concerns me. Not necessarily because it's about the ticket,but because of his level of control he seems to have. He doesn't own you. Let me repeat that again,HE DOES NOT OWN YOU. None of this to me screams rational. It screams raging control freak. Nobody has a right to tell you to stop talking to your friends male or female unless they are a danger to you or to your relationship. He does not have the right to tell you not to go out or to not to go out alone or to change your religion. If you do this it will make your relationship bad in the long run. I've never once seen a situation like that end well,it will make you resent him. He needs to think about that. It's not just his culture,family,land of origin or friends that matter,it's yours too. It is never ok for your SO to make you alienate yourself from your friends,family,religion,culture etc. for them . His parents are not in this relationship,you two are. I understand that parental acceptance is extremely important in some cultures but that does not give him a right to make you change all of that for his parents acceptance. You need to decide if all of this are things you're really willing to accept and deal with to be in this relationship.

I also think you both need to figure out better ways to have arguments. There are constructive adult ways to argue and get a point across and a non-constructive way to argue and get a point across. You both need to talk rationally with each other and be adults about it when you tell each other when the other is doing something the other doesn't like. He doesn't need to talk to you like that,nerves or not. I understand a little bickering back and forth before a visit,but what I don't understand is being an outright jerkoff.

Everything. every. last.word.